For those who dont use condoms

[foozballnow]

bareback is a choice. i was mainly curious how it changed people's swinging experience. Be it good or bad.

[bodyshots]

We play with condoms, mainly because of the perceived safety issues. Can anyone cite the studies, I'd like to look at them...maybe we could migrate to the bare-back side, which I'd prefer

Thanks

[foozballnow]

the studies please?

[rpu3]

What specific set of stats or studies? There are plenty of studies and data regarding safety issues, but those of you looking for information need to be more specific and identify what disease and what safety issue you want information from.

If I'm looking for data, I go to the CDC for starters, and those seeking information can certainly Google what you are seeking and generally find studies on your own.

[foozballnow]

people were saying there are studies that show condoms are not as effective as we are led to believe and thats why they dont use them. I was curious to read those and see who was actually publishing that

[des1re06]

We've been talking about this alot lately, and have come to a new decision. ding ding ding

We will do whichever our playmates are comfortable with. We prefer bareback.

I really don't see the need to go into why.

Mrs. D

[GerdOEvert]

We were in the lifestyle for five six years, and then left for fifteen while the kids were growing up. In our first run, there were constant STD's passed aroound. I think we had several courses of antibiotics, and Eileen had to have several genital warts removed.

The advent of AIDS made us much more careful.

I think the people in this section that say the Lifestyle types have fewer STD's than their Vanilla Friends are just mistaken or whistling past the graveyard.

We would only play with partners we really new well over a long period without protection. The downside risk is just to great.

Otto & Eileen

[SCcpl40]

Originally Posted by des1re06

We will do whichever our playmates are comfortable with. We prefer bareback.

Life is a risk, you can get the same STDs from kissing or oral so you're only fooling yourself.

We agree and are the same.

[cplin78260]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

On Saturday we ended up playing bareback and it was tons of fun. Its just hard to use them because alot of times he is giving oral and then I'm giving him oral and its just the natural "progression". Is it a risk? Yep. And with me thank God for Macrobid. But it was a wonderful time.

Thanks Shell for making me break out Google! LOL

We prefer and mostly go bareback, but it is an evolving process.

We spend a lot of time getting to know people and sure you build up the trust, and we understand there are risks as it has been drummed into our heads since we were teenagers.

Why I can still remember the day my Dad handed me a condom.

Of course it would have been nice if he had actually given me a demonstration on a banana or something because WOW...it was freaking awkward the first time I tried to put it on. HAHAHA But...I digress.

For me, the quickest way to get me soft again is to slap that room temperature bit of unforgiving plastic on me.

Sure, being somewhere nice and tight is nice, but that is NOT my idea of a good time.

I have been snipped, but Rochelle has not, so we ask that the guy pull out and cum somewhere on her body.

And no, she will not let a guy cum in her mouth...even for me...

She offers to let me taste it to see how I like it.

Of course I run away screaming NOOOOOO! LOL

She is also allergic to latex and something about non-latex just rubs her the wrong way, so no fun having that kind of abrasion...no matter the amount of AstroGlide that is thrown in the mix.

We have only been to one party since we have been in SA (Saturday night as a matter of fact...nice jammies by the way Shell ), but to me that was more of a meet and greet, but I still came prepared with raincoats...and only played with my date who Rochelle and I play as a couple with.

All that said, that is our preference, but if we are going to be with a couple and they asked for condoms to be used, then we will be good with that.

By the time the condom discussion comes up, we are usually knee deep into a friendship and have made the decision that yes, we would like to play with that couple.

Anyhow, that is my $5...quite a bit more then my 2 cents since I could not stop typing. LOL

[des1re06]

I remember watching a show last year where a doctor from the CDC was discussing oral sex and STDs. She said that you can get every STD there is from oral except crabs. Those travel from hair to hair. Of course, it depends on if you have facial hair and pubic hair, which we have neither.

So, what's the point of being "safe" when engaged in intercourse, if you're going to pass along the germs during oral anyway?

That's our opinion from reading and talking to sex experts (medical field).

Mrs. D

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by des1re06

So, what's the point of being "safe" when engaged in intercourse, if you're going to pass along the germs during oral anyway?

I've been contemplating the same thing myself; if I or we do everything else, then why use a condom?

Yes, I can feasibly get any STD from oral, but the statistics are different, more in my favor to not contract a STD. Maybe it's just a panacea, but it does reduce risk, and that's what makes sex with other partners feasible to me - I reduced the risk to a tolerable level for me. Is it 100% safe? No. I know this, and I just try to minimize the odds until it's an acceptable risk whether it be just using condoms or declining to play altogether. If I didn't accept some risk, I'd be at home 24/7 watching American Idol and Dancing with the Stars off the DVR.

In the end, it still will come down to individual choice and preference. My personal stance is condom use or lack thereof is a based on risk tolerance in conjunction with trust of a partner. Given that many who swing approach it strictly from a position of casual sex, and relationship-building to earn or determine trust or relationship building to develop trust is not necessary or wanted, swingers either go without the trust and use a condom, or decide the risk is acceptable and go without a condom.

I may not understand people's choices, but I accept that others have a different risk stance than I do. My personal stance is that trusting people I don't know or just barely acquainted with falls in the realm of too risky and an unnecessary risk. Hell, trusting people period ends up being its own numerical factor in the risk calculation. Even if you do build a relationship and decide to trust someone in any number of contexts, they can still be acting a risky manner outside of your context and you may or may not know about it to factor it in.

So, that's one person's POV as to "what's the point", I guess. "What's the point" is going to have a gazillion answers, as "what's the point" ends up being solely a personal choice.

Rebecca
Who really shouldn't be near a keyboard this early in the a.m. without that second cup of coffee.

[screaminggood]

What's Macrobid?????

[personal416]

Originally Posted by rpu3

Even if you do build a relationship and decide to trust someone in any number of contexts, they can still be acting a risky manner outside of your context and you may or may not know about it to factor it in.

That's what it has come down to for us. Even if we chose to limit our play with a select group of adults, but the other adults having their own reasons/motivations for playing can/will expand it if/when they want... sometimes without our knowledge. That fine and dandy for them, but we'd rather not go down that road of taking a "course of meds" because someone else wanted to widen the circle to include people we don't know. By the time things get fishy, we're probably in deep water anyway. (spoken like a true scuba diver, eh?)

Nothings a sure thing... I know we'd prefer bareback if/when we're with like minded adults that want are seeking trust/"exclusivity". ....kinda like focusing on open-minded vanilla friends that are brought into the lifestyle.

Make sense? Or are we just kidding ourselves?

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

What's Macrobid?????

Brand name of an antibiotic used for UTIs.

[toomuchfun]

We've been playing since September, there is only one guy besides me (the husband) that ever has intercourse with my wife with out a condom. When we first met him he had (for isnurance purposes) just recently had a full STD screen and came up clean. So he was her bareback buddy.

Everyone else we required condoms for intercourse.

Well we found out this afternoon that we are positive for HSV (don't know 1 or 2). We're still not sure if we are done playing or if we will just seek out people that are also HSV postive, or what.

But in any case, condoms didn't make any kind of difference for us. I guess we knew we weren't going to get the HIV but I never thought too much about the herps.