Oral sex on the man - is it safe to finish?

[couldBfun]

just curious what's acceptable as far as oral sex on the other's partner... with the girls it's pretty simple they can get off and there is nothing really going on, but how does it work for the men? My wife is unbelievable when it comes to taking care of her end an oral arrangement. I personally don't care if she completes the job as long as it's safe for her to do so.... so is it?

this comes up after a guy just let loose in her mouth and she played with it for a few seconds and then swallowed. no big deal...then I came in her mouth next. It was so hot, almost like being in a porn but after the fact we want to know should we be going that far.

we waisted no time going all out as we have only hooked up with one 3 some (mfm) and one very experienced couple(mfmf).

thanks for your advice this board is very helpful

cj

[LOL_OMG]

Hi couldB, there are a few topics in the archive about this...most people I believe have their own opinions on the subject. I personally think it's up to the couple, and they should talk about it before hand. I know there are those who won't swallow and those who will

If you both come to an understanding you might mention it to play partners before hand...that way nobody will feel offended or surprised.

Mrs

[ShellyM]

Exactly. Please never cum in another wife's mouth unless you have been told that this is acceptable....for us this would be a big no no. So always ask about things such as this before....most men will ask during if they do not ask beforehand if she wants them to cum in or out. That is of course unless they are wearing a condom.

[BradAndJanet]

Consensus from what I've read is that the risk from HIV and other STDs is pretty low, as saliva and stomach acids will destroy a virus quickly. However, I'm no doctor and I'm sure that that doesn't translate to 'zero risk'. For goddess sake be sure to check out that thing, girl, when it's waving in your face and make sure there aren't any open sores or anything gross.

But you knew that already...

Blasting without warning is just rude, in any case.

-B

[BiloxiCouple]

Do what's right for you.

Sometimes in the heat of passion, questions aren't asked and things happen. Be able to react and pull it out. Don't forget you may want to spit or if you don't swallow. You could always hold it and give him a big old "wet" kiss afterwards.

[couldBfun]

thanks for the advice....

[pervgeeks]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

Exactly. Please never cum in another wife's mouth unless you have been told that this is acceptable....for us this would be a big no no. So always ask about things such as this before....most men will ask during if they do not ask beforehand if she wants them to cum in or out. That is of course unless they are wearing a condom.

What she said.

I'm happy to swallow with my husband and would consider it if we ever have a couple we were regular partners with, but otherwise, nope, not my thing and I didn't appreciate one instance where a man just started to come (in like 30 seconds ) and told me as he was as he was doing it. Someone to check off the replay list.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by pervgeeks

What she said.

I'm happy to swallow with my husband and would consider it if we ever have a couple we were regular partners with, but otherwise, nope, not my thing and I didn't appreciate one instance where a man just started to come (in like 30 seconds ) and told me as he was as he was doing it. Someone to check off the replay list.

Yeah, this is a no go. It does happen too...my friend almost left the lifestyle after her first experience...number one he stuck it in minus the promised condom (from behind, she said she didn't see) and came after what she called 10 pumps, inside her. She FREAKED OUT....to the point where she took a morning after pill and went to have drug testing...did she overreact? Probably and she was fine. But it really freaked them out to where they literally did not attempt play again for months. Never assume to cum inside a woman's body unless she has said okay.

[tribbles]

I didn't appreciate one instance where a man just started to come

When we were new in the LS, we didn't realize how many have issues with it and also how many are used to males who have real control over when they come. The Mr. here isn't like that. We do turn down people who expect or need a guy with that control. (But you remember how hard it was to talk about things the first few times?)

There have even been times, when some lady in a group just starts to suck him and I speak up to warn her, "he may not have any warning himself that he is going to come so if you don't want it in your mouth, stop now". Now he often can say that himself but in the beginning the excitement was so strong at times, he simply could only gasp and moan. He has also learned to pull away, right away, to talk about it and not let someone find themselves pissed off cuz they assume all males are the same as the one they know.

So ladies, don't put it all on the guy...TELL them not to come in your mouth and ask them if they have the ability to warn you so you can pull your mouth off.

If he assumes it's ok (cuz his wife swallows) or you assume he knows it's not....or you are both too shy to talk about it before you do it....less fun could be the result.

[pervgeeks]

Originally Posted by tribbles

When we were new in the LS, we didn't realize how many have issues with it and also how many are used to males who have real control over when they come. The Mr. here isn't like that. We do turn down people who expect or need a guy with that control. (But you remember how hard it was to talk about things the first few times?)

There have even been times, when some lady in a group just starts to suck him and I speak up to warn her, "he may not have any warning himself that he is going to come so if you don't want it in your mouth, stop now". Now he often can say that himself but in the beginning the excitement was so strong at times, he simply could only gasp and moan. He has also learned to pull away, right away, to talk about it and not let someone find themselves pissed off cuz they assume all males are the same as the one they know.

So ladies, don't put it all on the guy...TELL them not to come in your mouth and ask them if they have the ability to warn you so you can pull your mouth off.

If he assumes it's ok (cuz his wife swallows) or you assume he knows it's not....or you are both too shy to talk about it before you do it....less fun could be the result.

I've realized in many ways how fortunate I am to have my husband as my primary partner. He never has had a problem getting hard. He can go for a significantly long time. He has control of when he comes. Condoms don't give him performance issues. He can usually get hard again within 15-20 minutes. (And he's almost 40.)

I was ready to speak up in the midst of it. Just never had someone that quick- even back with my high school boyfriends years many ago. I'm pretty good, but I don't give myself all the "credit" there.

[Spoomonkey]

I think - as others have said - do what works for you and the couple you are with. Just make sure you are communicating. Someone who says they can't tell you they are about to cum because... Well... They are about to cum... isn't being honest.

I get as wrapped us as the next guy in my orgasm, but I can always keep my wits about me enough to at least mention it... And the women I have been with are pretty bright as well. They can tell when a guy is starting to "enjoy it profusely." There is no excuse for poor communication with a new play mate - there are plenty of physical cues - and plenty of advanced warning - for a guy to know he is about to finish.

But - if your wife wants to swallow, that is a decision that only she can make. If it isn't okay with the other couple, he simply needs to stop short and change to another activity.

Spoomonkey

[tribbles]

There is no excuse for poor communication with a new play mate - there are plenty of physical cues - and plenty of advanced warning - for a guy to know he is about to finish.

YOU have plenty of physical cues and advance warning...are ALL human males wired exactly like you?

Then Spoo..you are bi cuz there are bi-males and if all males are exactly the same, all males are bi.

Are you buying it?

Me either.

People are different. That is why communication is key.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by tribbles

YOU have plenty of physical cues and advance warning...are ALL human males wired exactly like you?

Really?

Orgasms sometimes simply sneak up on men? "Oops... Geez... I guess I just came in your mouth... I had no idea that was about to happen..."

Can you find any proof of such a bizarre phenomenon? I'd love to see it. Perhaps you've simply been buying a load of horse crap for far too long

Spoomonkey

PS - Comparing the physiology of an orgasm to the biology and psychology of sexual identification/preference is a bit numb-minded...

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by tribbles

YOU have plenty of physical cues and advance warning...are ALL human males wired exactly like you?

...

People are different. That is why communication is key.

Last time I checked, male ejaculation pretty much followed the same physiological reaction, does it not? Or are the textbooks all wrong and there are millions of versions of ejaculation?

Based on my admittedly limited experience of male orgasms through performing oral sex, I've learned that I don't really need the man to tell me he's coming, nor would I be surprised when he came, because the body is pretty predictable at orgasm time. If I was inclined not to swallow, I'd know when to pull myself away, even without a warning or a guy getting it that he's coming, thanks to predictability in physiology.

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Really?

Orgasms sometimes simply sneak up on men? "Oops... Geez... I guess I just came in your mouth... I had no idea that was about to happen..."

Can you find any proof of such a bizarre phenomenon? I'd love to see it. Perhaps you've simply been buying a load of horse crap for far too long

Spoomonkey

PS - Comparing the physiology of an orgasm to the biology and psychology of sexual identification/preference is a bit numb-minded...

Spoo...you trust your wife, right? If she says that is what she experiences you don't think she is a liar cuz others say they are different, do you?
You have been with her long enough to have SEEN and been part of many experiences with her, right?

My 28th anniversary is in a few days. I not only trust him I've watched it happen when he wasn't expecting it. (Sorry, no movies for ya, monkey!) And we are not into sex in the dark, so I've been watching him orgasm many, many times. Is that any clearer?

And I'm "Comparing the physiology of an orgasm to the biology and psychology of sexual identification/preference" because I would place all of the above in the category of it's physical. I'm not sure there is anything that isn't.