Swinging safely without contraceptives?

[cpl1355]

Okay here's our situation. We've been in the lifestyle now for over 3 years and completely enjoy every aspect of it. However we are at a point in our lives/marriage that we are done having kids. My husband is planning on getting a vasectomy which eventually will lead me to abandon birth conrtol pills that I have been religously taking since I was 18.
While in the lifestyle we have always had the confidence that since I was on the pill and our play-partners always used condoms that we were significantly (yet not completely, lol) protected from any chance of pregnancy.
We are now concerned about how this change for us will/would affect our ability to continue to swing.
We're looking for others out there who have gone through this and would like to know what you did to stay in the lifestyle? ie., condoms and another form of contraceptives?, if so, what? or completely stopped playing?

THanks!

[havefuninsun]

Have you thought about having your tubes tied instead of him having a vasectomy?

I know there's other threads out there about birth control, but I had to go off the pill last year for medical reasons, and was UNHAPPY about it to say the least. My solution was to have an IUD. I picked this because the new IUD's have hormones in them that are released that keep your cycle regulated (which I was worried about). The incredible benefit is that my cycle has stopped! So no more having to schedule paydates around TWO women's cycles!! Horray!

If it were me, I'd be nervous playing with just condoms. How about using a diaphragm, too? That might be a lot less invasive, and I think you can insert it a bit before a playdate.

Good luck, and be safe out there!!! LOL

[beachguyz]

First of all, if swinging is your lifestlyle don't change it, adapt it to your new situation.
Are you changing from a condom couple to a bareback couple? Even if Mr. has a vasectomy, won't he glove up just to be safe? Are you now worried about becoming pregnant? One change might be to have the guy still wear a condom and not cum inside you. How about other contraception alternatives?

Embrace your life and have fun.

[cpl1355]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

Have you thought about having your tubes tied instead of him having a vasectomy?

I know there's other threads out there about birth control, but I had to go off the pill last year for medical reasons, and was UNHAPPY about it to say the least. My solution was to have an IUD. I picked this because the new IUD's have hormones in them that are released that keep your cycle regulated (which I was worried about). The incredible benefit is that my cycle has stopped! So no more having to schedule paydates around TWO women's cycles!! Horray!

If it were me, I'd be nervous playing with just condoms. How about using a diaphragm, too? That might be a lot less invasive, and I think you can insert it a bit before a playdate.

Good luck, and be safe out there!!! LOL

Yeah the Tubes Tied thing is not a route we want to go, (heck, I had the kids, so its his turn for the procedure! lol). That is what our main concern is, me playing with guys with just condoms and no protection for me. The choice for me to get off the pill is mainly for health reasons. ie., the long term effects of birth control pills as you get older. My husbands impending vasectomy allows me the opportunity to get off of them for good, but again we don't want to disrupt our participation in the Lifestyle. Never really thought about an IUD. May look into a diaphram, but seems like a lot of work?
Anyway thanks for your response.

[cpl1355]

Originally Posted by beachguyz

First of all, if swinging is your lifestlyle don't change it, adapt it to your new situation.
Are you changing from a condom couple to a bareback couple? Even if Mr. has a vasectomy, won't he glove up just to be safe? Are you now worried about becoming pregnant? One change might be to have the guy still wear a condom and not cum inside you. How about other contraception alternatives?

Embrace your life and have fun.

No, the concern really is for me not getting pregnant. We always use condoms with guys that I play with. Now with me getting off the pill I am really concerned about it. I am looking for perspectives from others on what they have alternatively used.
We're definitely not looking to get out of the Lifestyle, just looking for ideas on how to stay safe.

[Spoomonkey]

We are both fixed - fixed during our previous marriages. It has worked out quite nicely and has given us relative peace about that part of swinging.

If either of us weren't, I would worry about the failure rate of condoms. Just our luck, we'd always play with the couple where the wife was fixed - I was fixed, but my wife and the other husband were still "in the game" so to speak...

I already have three life long STDs (some people call them children) and don't want any more At least children don't itch...

It would seem a bit extreme to go get your tubes tied just to keep swinging, but if we were in your shoes it'd be something we'd consider. That sounds crazy, I know, but I can only say what would go through our heads. Even though it could not happen to us, just the thought of an unwanted pregnancy - especially with a playmate - is our worst nightmare...

Spoomonkey

[cpl1355]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We are both fixed - fixed during our previous marriages. It has worked out quite nicely and has given us relative peace about that part of swinging.

If either of us weren't, I would worry about the failure rate of condoms. Just our luck, we'd always play with the couple where the wife was fixed - I was fixed, but my wife and the other husband were still "in the game" so to speak...

I already have three life long STDs (some people call them children) and don't want any more At least children don't itch...

It would seem a bit extreme to go get your tubes tied just to keep swinging, but if we were in your shoes it'd be something we'd consider. That sounds crazy, I know, but I can only say what would go through our heads. Even though it could not happen to us, just the thought of an unwanted pregnancy - especially with a playmate - is our worst nightmare...

Spoomonkey

Spoonmonkey-
So in the case where your wife and the hubby were 'still in the game' what did your do for protection? was she already on the pill? Yes, the unwanted pregnancy with a playmate would be our biggest nightmare too, but the option of tying tubes is probably not something we would consider (too evasive). It would appear that our options at this point would be for me to remain on the pill or look into the use of a diaphram. Not too hip on the diaphram thing, but may not have any other choice.
Thanks for your input.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by cpl1355

So in the case where your wife and the hubby were 'still in the game' what did your do for protection?

That was hypothetical - just a "knowing our luck" type of thing...

We entered swinging (and marriage) after both of us had been fixed.



Spoomonkey

[des1re06]

Check out Novasure as well. Best thing I ever did for myself (and hubby). After having my tubes tied and going off the pill, I had awful, heavy periods. Every time we planned something, I would have one. Since I did Novasure, I have no more periods and no PMS. It will also make menopause alot easier.

http://www.novasure.com/

If I had it to do over again, I would have done the Novasure instead of having my tubes tied.

Mrs. D

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by cpl1355

We're looking for others out there who have gone through this and would like to know what you did to stay in the lifestyle? ie., condoms and another form of contraceptives?, if so, what? or completely stopped playing?

I do not use birth control pills nor a diaphragm, etc. When we play, condoms are used. I also have tracked my cycle for the last 8 years, so I'm rather conscious of safe times versus not-safe times. Thus, if a condom actually managed to break (rather unlikely if used properly) or slip off, I'd know right off the bat what the odds are for a problem. Finally, the ultimate backup, and perhaps an unpopular opinion, I do carry emergency contraception with me (Plan B - available over the counter now, you just ask the pharmacist). Anyway, that's what I do.

At the end of the day I'm not out to complicate my life or anyone else's life with an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.

[cpl1355]

Originally Posted by rpu3

Finally, the ultimate backup, and perhaps an unpopular opinion, I do carry emergency contraception with me (Plan B - available over the counter now, you just ask the pharmacist). Anyway, that's what I do.

At the end of the day I'm not out to complicate my life or anyone else's life with an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.

Are you referring to the morning-after pill? Assuming you've never had to use that, what is the effectiveness of that pill?

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by cpl1355

Are you referring to the morning-after pill? Assuming you've never had to use that, what is the effectiveness of that pill?

I believe Plan B and the morning-after pill is one and the same. It can be taken up to 5 days after an "accident" or incident, so it should be renamed the "if you are lazy, you can take this up to 5 mornings after pill".

The effectiveness depends on the formula used. The progestin only version is 90% effective in preventing pregnancy. The combination version is up to 80% effective, depending on whose version of the various studies you read.

And no, I've never had to use that backup. It's not like I play that often to begin with, but I like having backup plans for my contingency plans.

[BiloxiCouple]

I've heard that the more you swallow the more the chance of pregnancy goes down.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by cpl1355

Okay here's our situation. We've been in the lifestyle now for over 3 years and completely enjoy every aspect of it. However we are at a point in our lives/marriage that we are done having kids. My husband is planning on getting a vasectomy which eventually will lead me to abandon birth conrtol pills that I have been religously taking since I was 18.
While in the lifestyle we have always had the confidence that since I was on the pill and our play-partners always used condoms that we were significantly (yet not completely, lol) protected from any chance of pregnancy.
We are now concerned about how this change for us will/would affect our ability to continue to swing.
We're looking for others out there who have gone through this and would like to know what you did to stay in the lifestyle? ie., condoms and another form of contraceptives?, if so, what? or completely stopped playing?

THanks!

We personally would never play with a woman who is fertile and not on at least BCP or an IUD. We have 3 children and Jay is shooting very live rounds. And although condoms are pretty safe ummm, things happen. I think most DEFINATELY other couples need to be made aware that you are not on any active forms of birth control before hand.

[ncmd_couple]

My sexy lady had her tubes tied many years ago due to a medical complication during pregnancy, it would probably kill her to get pregnant again. I got snipped not long after we started swinging because I sure as hell don't want any more kids!