Safe Sex and Teens

[anandjeff2]

Just the other night I was talking with my daugter and her firend about sex adn certain things came up and the friend commented on being active with a boy we know is a drug user. I told her I hope she practices safe sex with all the boys and her comment was" I didnt do that with him just a BJ!" I asked her what did she htink safe sex was ? My daughter told her friend "thats what flavoured condoms are for!" We laugehd a bit at that as we all knwo my daughter is not sexually active at this point and I had never discussed flavoured condoms with her(but she has seen them in the local pharmacy and had a gigle to herself over them!) so it was funy to me she knew what they were for! It makes me realize hwo many parents will put their daugters on the pill to keep them "safe" and yet never really talk with them about sex! It makes me glad to see that what we have talked to our daughter about sinks in and stays there and that even her frineds learn when they come over and chat.. just scary how so many people dont talk abut sex properly!

An

[ATAK]

Kids these days are becoming more sexually active at a far earlier age than I/we did growing up. I was 18 before I ever had my first sexual experience and I ended up marrying her. Kids today have sex for the first time as young as 12-13. I personally know a 15 year old (a friend of my babysitter) who has had not only sex, but has had a 3-some and even anal sex!! Not meaning to scare you, but her mother has NO idea that she's ever had sex. Normally you would associate that type of sexual behavior with a girl whose attitude is that of a rebellious teen, but this girl is a very studious, quiet girl that on the surface appears to be very good and wholesome.

I'm surprised at how little parent's know about their own kids. It takes an involved parent to keep close tabs on their kids and keep them from making mistakes that can have a lasting effect on their lives. By the way, has anyone seen my oldest daughter? LOL.

[Handyman69]

We discuss openly with the kids on safe sex. I am not giving them the ok to go and do it but have to face facts. All we can do instill knowledge and how they follow through with it...well that is their choices. I know my 18 yr old is sexually active and wish that she would get on to something other than a condom. I very sure that this guy is going to be our son-in-law but hope they wait to have kids. Neither of them are ready for that, especially my daugher as I see how she behaves around the triplets.

Being honest and involved is what every good parent needs to do. Will they listen.....all we can do is hope so.

Rhonda

I thought the triplets were a good lesson for the birth control part.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by Handyman69
We discuss openly with the kids on safe sex. I am not giving them the ok to go and do it but have to face facts. All we can do instill knowledge and how they follow through with it...well that is their choices. I know my 18 yr old is sexually active and wish that she would get on to something other than a condom. I very sure that this guy is going to be our son-in-law but hope they wait to have kids. Neither of them are ready for that, especially my daugher as I see how she behaves around the triplets.

Being honest and involved is what every good parent needs to do. Will they listen.....all we can do is hope so.

As the father of a 15 year-old daughter I know exactly what you're talking about. We have had frank talks with her on an ongoing basis from the time she was old enough to ask. She knows we'll tell her the unvarnished truth - about anything - and I think that has led her to continue to come to us with questions, or just to talk. We speak frequently of communication here and it applies to the other parts of our lives as well.

Rhonda

I thought the triplets were a good lesson for the birth control part.

Yes, you would think that would help. Quite a handful, I'm sure.

-B

[anandjeff2]

yes the age is right this girl had sex at 12 and her mother put her on the pill when her daughter told her she was gpoing to have sex. Our s is 14 and not active and we tell her every time we talk hwproud we are of her and how we want her to wait til she knows whoSHE is befor e getting sexually invlved..however she was gripign the other night about the pipes that run up apst her room seems they carry the noise from our bedroom!!LOL

[OhioCouple]

It is alarming how evasive and naive parents are with their kids when it comes to sex and std's.

Long before I ever knew that Swinging was actually something, I always stressed to my kids the importance of being responsible sexually. I did so better and more firmly with my daughters than my son, (I had my brother in law talk with him since I didn't know how).

I firmly believe that children who have reached a maturity level "mentally" (this could be age 8 or 21) should have guidance from their elders as to how to approach and handle sexual situations appropriately and wisely.

KNOWLEDGE is POWER and LIFE SAVING.

Lori

[MagicEnigma]

My parents thought sending me to a church approved class, pulling me from the health classes at school, and telling me sex was a sin would keep me from doing it, or only doing it after I was married. Didn’t really happen that way for either myself or my sister. I haunted the library three blocks away from my home, found a few well illustrated books, read as much as I could when I was still 14. By the time I was 16 and became active, ducking my parents and their view on the subject was second nature, and that made it really easy to do what I did without feeling guilty or wanting to tell them. I wasn’t reckless by my own feelings, but it really was my parents stone-walling that made me feel I could not, and should not talk to them. Maybe I mean that as a knock on what their views are, but even then, as puritanical as they were/are, those views didn’t stop me from wanting to know about sex, and doing it when I had the chance. My sister came to me to learn about it for much the same reason, and I even helped her get condoms when she was going to do it. I was at least glad she talked to me and was as safe as she could be, rather than to run around scared to talk to anybody, and screw up by not doing something right.

I think it would have been hard, maybe impossible for my parents to see any other approach towards sex or talking to either myself or my sister than what they did. I’m not sure the issue is them as much as the old-world view on sex my families church pushes. And that is a much bigger issue.

[anandjeff2]

Originally posted by MagicEnigma
screw up by not doing something right.

I think it would have been hard, maybe impossible for my parents to see any other approach towards sex or talking to either myself or my sister than what they did. I’m not sure the issue is them as much as the old-world view on sex my families church pushes. And that is a much bigger issue.

Some people use that excuse to hide behind but frankly it is only because they feel uncomfortable about it..my hubby is still waiting to hear about the birds and bees from his dad. He hated the way his parents would preach to him dont do it just because and it makes him much more aware of how he has to talk to all of our kids equally. His sister was better then her parents but never sat down and talked with her sons they would come talk with me about things. Believe me we had to correct some locker room idiocies they had learned. I truly feel that if you are not embarassed byyour sexuality you can talk to both sexes easily. Sure we cant tell the boys we know how they feel or why but we can explain hwo a woman feels about things and that in the long run will probably make a few women greatful to us down the road! y paretns were more open but still ddint talk as frankly with us yet we were allowed acess to many boooks on sex..howeve I would have appreciated the ability to talk with my parents more openly about some things..we learn from our parents mistakes and try to correct them when we grow up and have our own kids to raise

An

[PaulKing]

Author Michael Fumento, in his book The Myth of Heterosexual AIDS, offers substantial evidence that white, middle-class, non IV drugabuser heterosexuals are in less danger of contracting AIDS thru non-anal,
sexual intercourse than they are of dying from shark attacks, being hit by lightning, or accidentally drowning in the bathtub. The
book is very well referenced and documented.

The book was reviewed by the Journal of the American Medical Assn as "the best single source available to enable heterosexual persons to assess their personal risk."

http://www.fumento.com/pozaids.html

TEENAGE AIDS

CDC statistics show that only 4,061 teenagers have contracted AIDS in 21 years in the entire United States..


Source: - CDC

The New York State Quarterly AIDS Report (table 4A) reported: -

In the first half of 2000 there was not one single caucasian teenage female AIDS case attributed to heterosexual sex.
In the first half of 2000 there was not one single teenage male AIDS case (of any race) attributed to heterosexual sex.

[jennjenn]

I've always been open with my kids about sex because I've always felt it's a natural part of life and nothing to be ashamed of (unlike my mom who tried to "guilt" me into not having sex ). When I found out my son had had unprotected sex with his girlfriend I bought a giant pack of 100 condoms and kept them in his room in a square metal container so he would have absolutely no reason not to use them. He was 16 at the time. He broke up with the girlfriend but then my 15 year old daughter and her after school crowd who hang out at our house discovered them and they were gone within 2 weeks lol. The down side to this was, we were taking some of her friends home one evening (one 17, one 16, one 15) and when we were at the 17 year old's house, his mom came out to the car and we were talking. It was just the second time I'd met the mom, I didn't know her very well (even though I pick both her kids up every day after school lol). We were standing there talking and somehow the subject came up of her son not making her a grandmother anytime soon. And he said "Don't worry mom, Jasmine's mom keeps me supplied with condoms." Wow, I don't give them to him, he just takes them from my house. That was a very uncomfortable moment for me because you never know a parent's view point on things like that. I was just waiting for the mom to go off on me or tell me to get out of my car lol. But she took in in stride and made light of it even though a shocked look was her first reaction.

[kandr2000]

I am new here. i have a twelve year old daughter. We have always been very truthful to her about sex. She always comes to me and asks me questions. She started asking at about 6years old. n the last month I started to try to tell her I was bi. She pretty much told me she had already figured it out before I could finish telling her. I guess she figured it out a few months back. I tend to look at women alot.

I, also have to small babies 18 months apart. They have proven to be great as far as making her not want to have sex for now. I am very confindent she will come to me. We have a very close relationship. Hopefully, she wont start hating me anytime soon.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by MagicEnigma

My parents thought sending me to a church approved class, pulling me from the health classes at school, and telling me sex was a sin would keep me from doing it, or only doing it after I was married. Didn’t really happen that way for either myself or my sister. I haunted the library three blocks away from my home, found a few well illustrated books, read as much as I could when I was still 14. By the time I was 16 and became active, ducking my parents and their view on the subject was second nature, and that made it really easy to do what I did without feeling guilty or wanting to tell them. I wasn’t reckless by my own feelings, but it really was my parents stone-walling that made me feel I could not, and should not talk to them. Maybe I mean that as a knock on what their views are, but even then, as puritanical as they were/are, those views didn’t stop me from wanting to know about sex, and doing it when I had the chance. My sister came to me to learn about it for much the same reason, and I even helped her get condoms when she was going to do it. I was at least glad she talked to me and was as safe as she could be, rather than to run around scared to talk to anybody, and screw up by not doing something right.

I think it would have been hard, maybe impossible for my parents to see any other approach towards sex or talking to either myself or my sister than what they did. I’m not sure the issue is them as much as the old-world view on sex my families church pushes. And that is a much bigger issue.

Wow. This is almost identical to my upbringing. Ok, Mom tried to be open about it, but she sweated all through the mutually-uncomfortable "Big Talk" at age 12, and neither one of us wanted to experience THAT again. So when she gritted her teeth and asked, "Any questions?" I immediately replied no. And that was that. She didn't have a problem with sex ed. in high school. Thought it was a good thing. It meant she didn't have to discuss such details as birth control or how to use it, which would've been really difficult.

Perhaps it was a throwback to the old memory of this that caused my own Big Talk with my daughter to be so uncomfortable. But I just apologized if I seemed uncomfortable, which seemed to help. Since then, she has asked questions, which I am open to, and she confides in me that she has a crush on some guy. She's only 11 right now, but the poor girl has been cursed with being an "early bloomer". She's already wearing a bigger bra than a lot of full-grown women could hope to fill, and judging by her mood swings, she's a hormone cocktail. I dunno what happened. Too many growth hormones fed to chickens and cows we put on the table?