how to speak with the gyno about birth control

[curiousswingers]

OK so hubby had a vas about 5 yrs ago, we are fairly new to the swinging lifestyle and we def like to play bareback with partners we know and trust.......which leads me to birth control.....I am thinking I want to try that merina iud but am not sure how to approach the gyno about it seeing as how she already knows that hubby is vas safe? Anyone else been in this situation and how did you handle it?

[havefuninsun]

Well, except for being direct, I'd handle it this way:

"My periods are heavy and unpredictable. I have a friend who has a merina iud and swears by it ... her periods are non-existent! What do you think?"

Approach it as a way of solving period headaches. I know a lot of women who are on the pill just to regulate their cycle.

I had a merina iud put in in December; I had a spotting period in January and have been period free since! Now, my body still does the PMS things, unfortunately, but being so spontaneous is awesome.

I've read, and others will probably comment, that you have a higher risk of STD's with an iud (not sure why, but ...) so keep that in mind if playing bareback.

Good luck!

(P.S. I'm not for the direct honest conversation with the Doctor)

[BiloxiCouple]

The truth will set you free. And your doctor can give you her best advice possible. Or find another doctor to use only once so you won't be upset.

[sexyshelby]

i agree with havefuninsun. Tell your doctor that you need to control/regulate your periods. Even if you can't use Mirena, you can control when you get your period by cycling your pills/patch/ring/whatever.

~SS

[curiousswingers]

Thanks for the replies girls! I live in a small town so telling the gyno the trueth is out of the question, I think I will try the period one

[beachguyz]

You might be suprised to know that your gyno probably has seen and heard more than you think. Remember the conversation is confidential and most medical professional are non judgemental about their patients. At least the good ones are.

Talk to your Doc and level with him/her. If they come across with an attitude dump the Doc. They are there to help you not judge you.

[beachguyz]

You might be surprised to know that your gyno probably has seen and heard more than you think. Remember the conversation is confidential and most medical professional are non judgemental about their patients. At least the good ones are.

Talk to your Doc and level with him/her. If they come across with an attitude dump the Doc. They are there to help you not judge you.

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by beachguyz

Remember the conversation is confidential

And who reads the charts?

I too grew up in a small town; one of the office managers at my Dr's office I went to high school with -- My MOM was a nurse there and still has friends in that office. No way in HELL I'd tell the truth.

All of us women know that regulating periods is an absolute legitimate reason to use alternative birth control. I know a LOT of women who do ... they all COULD be swingin', but I doubt it ;-)

I don't really believe anything is confidential ...

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by curiousswingers

Thanks for the replies girls! I live in a small town so telling the gyno the trueth is out of the question, I think I will try the period one

If I had the problem of the small town situation with my gyno (or friends of my mom work there, or whatever), rather than making up stories for the gyno, I'd go out of town for that and be honest with the gyno. It's very important for so many reasons. You should be tested regularly for STD's. If the gyno is aware that you're non-monogamous (aware of the truth), they can be on the lookout for you, monitoring your health. The birth control is only one aspect.

Also, you should be completely honest with your gyno about your real menstrual schedule, because it can indicate many things. For example, if you're actually regular but you lie to the gyno just to get on BC, pretending to be irregular with your periods and pretending to be monogamous, you could cause the doctor to misinterpret things and possibly treat your symptoms wrong.

Please drive the 40 miles (or whatever) to the city or next big town down the road, and be very honest for your own sake. Good luck!

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

If I had the problem of the small town situation with my gyno (or friends of my mom work there, or whatever), rather than making up stories for the gyno, I'd go out of town for that and be honest with the gyno. It's very important for so many reasons. You should be tested regularly for STD's. If the gyno is aware that you're non-monogamous (aware of the truth), they can be on the lookout for you, monitoring your health. The birth control is only one aspect.

Also, you should be completely honest with your gyno about your real menstrual schedule, because it can indicate many things. For example, if you're actually regular but you lie to the gyno just to get on BC, pretending to be irregular with your periods and pretending to be monogamous, you could cause the doctor to misinterpret things and possibly treat your symptoms wrong.

Please drive the 40 miles (or whatever) to the city or next big town down the road, and be very honest for your own sake. Good luck!

Tybee,

Tell us about the reaction(s) you got from the Dr. you found. You have VERY valid points ... how cool would it be to have a network of swing-friendly Dr's to choose from ...

I'm just being nosey ...

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

Tybee,

Tell us about the reaction(s) you got from the Dr. you found. You have VERY valid points ... how cool would it be to have a network of swing-friendly Dr's to choose from ...

I'm just being nosey ...

Hi, I actually haven't had this problem myself, that's why I said "if" I had the small town situation. I guess I live in what you'd call a big town or small city. Too small to swing here without being very careful (you run into everybody), too small for a swing club, but definitely big enough to go to doctors and they aren't related to you and didn't go to school with your mom.

As for "swing-friendly" doctors - I don't tell my doctor outright that I swing. I have asked her to "test me for everything", even though she knows I'm married. I don't elaborate why, and she doesn't ask. For all she knows, maybe I've suspected my husband of stepping out? Or, maybe it doesn't phase her because we all could be carrying something that may go undetected for years, including vanillas who are serial monogamists. Maybe she does suspect I'm a swinger. Regardless, she doesn't react. She's professional; I'll bet that most doctors everywhere would respond in much the same way when a patient asks for tests, or when a married woman with a husband who had a V asks for birth control. I've been going to her since I was single-again (in between marriages for several years and dating), and after my marriage over 3 years ago.

I live in the deep south and it's very conservative in this area. But even down here, doctors are professionals. If any woman has any reason to fear gossip or some other reason to keep them from being honest about birth control needs and asking for STD testing, seriously, please get another doctor! I fear for women's health if they don't find a doctor they can be open with enough to get the proper medical care.

[blondie77]

I agree 100% with Tybee. Please don't lie to your doctor or mislead him/her with information that just isn't true. While it may seem worth it not to have the embarrassment of your doctor knowing such things about you, honestly, it's better than having some illness or disease go undetected because of a small lie. I think you have two choices, assuming that you intend not to lie about your menstral cycle. You can either tell your regular doctor you need to be on birth control, tell her the reason or not, it's really up to you, but be honest in all other aspects. OR go to another doctor and be completely honest. Good luck.

[Darkvoices]

Just wanted to say that I agree with the 100% honesty method with your gyno. Now as for bare back with an IUD and the STD thing, you must absolutely, positively only go with couples you trust. Why? Well because an IUD leave's an irritation on the Uterus (it's a foreign body which your body reacts to) which makes you more susceptible to STD's, oh and yes I am an active nurse. So follow's these points and you should be alright

1. Be honest with your gyno because guess what to get an IUD you need 2 appointment's hehe. ( One appt for the test (STD's Blood work etc and 2nd appt for the actual insertion of the IUD) avoids feeling pretty stupid when you see the same gyno for your second appointment after lying your way through the 1st

2. Get the IUD, possibly the best method out there and very little side effects compared to OC's or COC's.

3. Please be very careful when going bareback as you WILL be more susceptible to STD's and Infection's.

[Chicup]

This comes up every so often.

Ironically its been the health care professionals and insurance people who say DON'T tell your doctor.

Unless you are fully out of the closet and don't care what people think about it, there is no reason to give your doctor full information. Your records are NOT private, and more so people talk, a lot, about this kind of thing.

Find a new doctor, get on birth control with them, end of issue.

[lovinher]

Chicup hit the nail on the head. Your records are NOT private despite what people have been led to believe. A revelation of swinging to your doctor could haunt you for the rest of your life. I am on very good terms with my Doctor because I have to see him so often but I would NOT tell him anything about swinging. He once told me not to say anything to him I wouldn't want my insurance company and future health care providers to know. He is required to note anything I tell him. He went so far as to hook me up with a friend of his for a visit and keep me out of the system. I paid cash and signed nothing. I'm sure he broke some rules doing that.