For Those Willing To Play With Others With Herpes, How Should It Be Disclosed?

[Tybee Swing]

Katie,

A few days ago, I read this thread, Herpes The gift that keeps on giving, which says that up to 90% of people are HSV+. It was verified by a doctor who posts here. I have been thinking about this thread ever since.

Your concerns, along with that other recent thread, caused me to really search into that shocking stat today. From what I'm reading, the stats are right. Here are some of the points from herpesonline.org:

* If you have herpes, please be aware you are not alone. It is estimated that over 90% of Americans have herpes. More than 40,000 new cases of herpes are diagnosed each day in America alone. That is over 15,000,000 new herpes infections per year! The number of people infected with herpes has reached epidemic proportions.

* There are several different strains of the herpes virus. However, the most common types of herpes are oral herpes (usually caused by herpes simplex 1), and genital herpes (usually caused by herpes simplex 2). Oral herpes infections are often referred to as "cold sores" or "fever blisters."

* If a person has oral herpes (cold sores), and performs oral sex on his/her partner, it is possible for that person to transmit the virus to the genitals from this action, and vice versa. The symptoms of oral herpes and genital herpes are almost identical.

* Recent studies indicate that people with herpes may be contagious at any time even without visible signs of an outbreak (estimated at 1-5% of the time). This is symptom is called “viral shedding.”

* Ninety percent of all people will have at least one cold sore, (herpes simplex outbreak) sometime in their life. However, after the first cold sore infection, many people develop antibodies to the cold sore virus and never have another cold sore. About 40% of American adults, however, have repeated cold sores. Cold sores are highly contagious when a flare up is present, and a cold sore can be transmitted even when there are no visible signs of a cold sore due to viral shedding.

* According to The American Social Health Association, under a microscope HSV 1 and HSV 2 are virtually identical, sharing approximately 50% of their DNA. Both types infect the mucosal surfaces of the body – most often the mouth or the genitals and then establish latency in the nervous system. For both types, it is estimated that two thirds of those infected have no noticeable symptoms or have no symptoms at all. Studies have show that both viruses can be spread when there are no symptoms present. Either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect orally and/or genitally. Unfortunately, many are unaware of this and this lack of knowledge contributes to the ongoing spread and to the growing number of type 1 genital cases.

* With many years of believing that HSV type 1 is only related to oral herpes, many people are not aware that type 1 can and is being contracted both orally and genitally. So many people are under the presumption that there is that “Good versus Bad” virus, and with these beliefs social stigmas are thriving. While the “Good Virus” is believed to be “just a cold sore” – society has that euphemism to hide behind and don’t have to acknowledge that cold sores are indeed Herpes.

Katie, the more I learn, the more I realize that we've undoubtedly been exposed countless times. The more we know, the less we swingers can be in denial. If it's a fact that 90% of the general population have or will have herpes, how can there possibly be that many "D/D free" swingers? (Referring to the disease "D", of course.) Even though very few are discussing this, the more it's discussed, the less there will be a stigma toward people who admit to having it. Maybe more people will admit to themselves that the cold sore they've had in the past means that they really do have the herpes virus lying dormant in their systems, and that this means they're not disease-free, after all.

Originally Posted by crazykatie

Fundamentally, I know that we present a lower risk of transmission than sexual partners with an asymptomatic case and who, therefore, are unaware that they are infected (which is something between 20% and 25% of the population). But, we clearly present a higher risk than someone who is not infected at all.

From what I'm learning here lately, it's the rare American swinger who doesn't have herpes, whether we know it, or admit it, or not.

I have had a cold sore, so I'm "coming out" here - I have herpes, like 90% of the population apparently has. Wow, I've never said that before. I used to never really think about that, but now I've learned too much to be ignorant about it. Katie, you're brave, and I admire you. I'm going to join you.

[bethncole]

We have never had anybody admit to having any STDs. However, we are very selective in terms of who we play with. We usually prefer to get to know others to a point where we can see if they are honest or not. Those who are hiding something ( like having STDs, number of partners played, etc. ) are usually very obvious.

Then it is also a good idea to look them over down there before engaging. Most STDs are very apparent when they are at the outbreak. Also, you want to ask them if they have done a recent STD test. If they didn't - just that fact along tells you that they may not care as much about it as you do.

Finally, use condoms! Always and for oral too if you have doubts.

[crazykatie]

Originally Posted by bethncole

We have never had anybody admit to having any STDs.

Congratulations. Neither, it appears, has anyone else.

[StacyCat]

Wow, I get to be special!

I was in an orgy and got to witness my friend disclose his genital herpes to the participants. What was good for us is that the people involved were knowledgable about herpes, and were able to make up their minds instantaniously about what they were willing to do. (in this case, he didnt get to fuck her, but she did give him oral with a condom).

He had previously disclosed his status to me, because we were discussing playing together at some point. But, it was from a poly "friends with benefits" point of view, rather than meeting at a club and fucking.

Most of the individuals that I know with herpes tend to go the friendship route, and getting to know the person before having sex.

[crazykatie]

For a discussion of the relative risks associated with an exposure to asymptomatic viral shedding with this disease, check out the following thread.

Checking Attitudes About Herpes

You are statistically more likely to be exposed to asymptomatic viral shedding playing with a couple or individual who does not believe they are infected than you are playing with a couple or person who knows they are infected and who is or are taking viral suppressants.