Double Standards for oral???

belgiumCouple · 02-28-2007, 03:28 AM

Let's me first tell you that we don't have much experience yet but we're both on the page for this part of the swinging experience (for some other parts we're moving with whatever we're both comfortable with).

We know statistically that the transfer of STDs is much higher for a woman giving oral to a man than from a man giving oral to a woman.

We both feel comfortable receving oral (she from another men, he from another woman without any protection).

We both feel comfortable that he or she gives oral to another woman (she bi-curious, haven't done anything yet). But we both feel uncomfortable for her giving unprotected oral to another man.

Are we using double standards (because we know that we're both 100% safe) by asking the other man to use a condom ? If the other couple would ask us to use a condom too we would accept this without questioning them finding the fact that they ask the same from us as we from them perfectly acceptable. However if they wouldn't mind we would go without but still ask them to go with....

Again this is both our opionion but are we asking too much from other couples.
Would we need to change our opinion and say if we ask it from them we will never ask to go without... ?

(Intercourse is always with both ways, no exceptions...)

Menage_a_Trois · 03-01-2007, 05:41 AM

Well let me ask you this question:

You meet another couple and they are fine with him fucking your wife but not you fucking his. Would this be acceptable to you?

Just a thought.................

The Other Mrs. Menage

belgiumCouple · 03-01-2007, 06:50 AM

It depends on the situation and the chemistry between us but I think so.

And we wouldn't try to 'enforce' our standard, just wanted to know if people would accept it or look strange...

SJK977 · 03-01-2007, 09:29 AM

I think this is pretty simple.. With us, what's good for one is what's good for both (or more).

If you expect the other male to wear a condom while he receives oral from you, then the same should be expected from your male when he's getting it from their female. This situation is just a set up for a problem right when it's time for fun and could even be considered offensive.

lovinher · 03-01-2007, 02:32 PM

To answer your question, yes it is strange in my book and a bit rude. I think you already knew that and hence, your question. Not slamming you in any way... but you asked.

cuzzeyesaidso · 04-27-2007, 01:37 AM

The wife thinks it's strange for any woman to give a man head while he's wearing a condom.

**good times** · 04-27-2007, 01:48 PM

I always wonder about questions like these because it always strike me as someone who has made a decision and then comes here to try and justify it. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with, whether we agree with it or not doesn't make any difference, and no justification is necessary. As in everything in life, any decision has its trade offs. In this case, the most likely trade off is going to be that you will have less people willing to play with you, I know we wouldn't.

DBL D · 04-27-2007, 03:48 PM

I would probably do it one time with the lady, but not again if that is what is expected...But then, this is from someone who doesn't like to use condoms period. I guess I always assume a higher level of trust than most, so I wear a hat for intercourse just because everyone else seems comfortable with it.

M.D.

biblonde · 04-27-2007, 05:05 PM

Sorry but if a couple asked that of us we would tell them "thanks but, NO thanks" and walk away.

Chicup · 04-27-2007, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by good times

I always wonder about questions like these because it always strike me as someone who has made a decision and then comes here to try and justify it. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with, whether we agree with it or not doesn't make any difference, and no justification is necessary. As in everything in life, any decision has its trade offs. In this case, the most likely trade off is going to be that you will have less people willing to play with you, I know we wouldn't.

Dito

There is risk with having sex with a new partner, lifestyle or otherwise.

Most swingers will do unprotected oral, its a risk we are willing to take. Its not up to anyone besides you to decide what level you are comfortable with.

daisy girl · 04-27-2007, 06:01 PM

I just wonder about the fairness quotient. I can have oral with you and you don't have to wear a condom. Your wife can have oral with my husband but he has to wear a condom? I think we would pass.

WildMiCouple · 04-27-2007, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by belgiumCouple

Are we using double standards (because we know that we're both 100% safe) by asking the other man to use a condom ? If the other couple would ask us to use a condom too we would accept this without questioning them finding the fact that they ask the same from us as we from them perfectly acceptable.

It's ultimately whatever you are comfortable with. But I suspect you're really gonna limit your prospects. I'd bet if you posted this in your profile, you would be lucky to get any responses. I know we wouldn't play with a couple that had this rule. And I'd be displeased to find this out after we got started playing :rollseyes

Quote:

Originally Posted by belgiumCouple

However if they wouldn't mind we would go without but still ask them to go with...

This is pretty funny

You'd require the other guy to wear a condom.....but if they didn't mind , you'd rather not wear one. Gotta love it

Brett

DBL D · 04-27-2007, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biblonde

Sorry but if a couple asked that of us we would tell them "thanks but, NO thanks" and walk away.

I certainly wouldn't blame you for that.

M.D.

HotOwassoMILF · 04-28-2007, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biblonde

Sorry but if a couple asked that of us we would tell them "thanks but, NO thanks" and walk away.

Dito

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02-28-2007, 03:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
belgiumCouple Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 22 Location: belgium Status: couple	Double Standards for oral??? Let's me first tell you that we don't have much experience yet but we're both on the page for this part of the swinging experience (for some other parts we're moving with whatever we're both comfortable with). We know statistically that the transfer of STDs is much higher for a woman giving oral to a man than from a man giving oral to a woman. We both feel comfortable receving oral (she from another men, he from another woman without any protection). We both feel comfortable that he or she gives oral to another woman (she bi-curious, haven't done anything yet). But we both feel uncomfortable for her giving unprotected oral to another man. Are we using double standards (because we know that we're both 100% safe) by asking the other man to use a condom ? If the other couple would ask us to use a condom too we would accept this without questioning them finding the fact that they ask the same from us as we from them perfectly acceptable. However if they wouldn't mind we would go without but still ask them to go with.... Again this is both our opionion but are we asking too much from other couples. Would we need to change our opinion and say if we ask it from them we will never ask to go without... ? (Intercourse is always with both ways, no exceptions...)

03-01-2007, 05:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
Menage_a_Trois Sex is emotion in motion! Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 559 Location: Reno, NV Status: Couple SLS Name:Menage_a_Trois	Re: Double Standards for oral??? Well let me ask you this question: You meet another couple and they are fine with him fucking your wife but not you fucking his. Would this be acceptable to you? Just a thought................. The Other Mrs. Menage

03-01-2007, 06:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
belgiumCouple Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 22 Location: belgium Status: couple	Re: Double Standards for oral??? It depends on the situation and the chemistry between us but I think so. And we wouldn't try to 'enforce' our standard, just wanted to know if people would accept it or look strange...

03-01-2007, 09:29 AM	#4 (permalink)
SJK977 Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 26 Location: RI Status: Couple	Re: Double Standards for oral??? I think this is pretty simple.. With us, what's good for one is what's good for both (or more). If you expect the other male to wear a condom while he receives oral from you, then the same should be expected from your male when he's getting it from their female. This situation is just a set up for a problem right when it's time for fun and could even be considered offensive.

03-01-2007, 02:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
lovinher Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 763 Location: cleveland area Status: married to lovinhim SLS Name:Lovinall	Re: Double Standards for oral??? To answer your question, yes it is strange in my book and a bit rude. I think you already knew that and hence, your question. Not slamming you in any way... but you asked. __________________ I know I was born. I know that I'll die. The in between is mine. (PJ)

04-27-2007, 01:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
cuzzeyesaidso Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 120 Location: San Diego Status: couple SLS Name:pua_n_jon	Re: Double Standards for oral??? The wife thinks it's strange for any woman to give a man head while he's wearing a condom. __________________

04-27-2007, 01:48 PM	#7 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,415 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times SLS Name:randp	Re: Double Standards for oral??? I always wonder about questions like these because it always strike me as someone who has made a decision and then comes here to try and justify it. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with, whether we agree with it or not doesn't make any difference, and no justification is necessary. As in everything in life, any decision has its trade offs. In this case, the most likely trade off is going to be that you will have less people willing to play with you, I know we wouldn't. __________________ R (He is R, she is P)

04-27-2007, 03:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
DBL D Oh...Why not?... Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,312 Location: Northern Call-ee-forn-ee-ah Status: Married Couple	Re: Double Standards for oral??? I would probably do it one time with the lady, but not again if that is what is expected...But then, this is from someone who doesn't like to use condoms period. I guess I always assume a higher level of trust than most, so I wear a hat for intercourse just because everyone else seems comfortable with it. M.D. __________________ "Just nod if you can hear me..." David Gilmour

04-27-2007, 05:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
biblonde Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,020 Location: sacramento Status: couple SLS Name:curious1918	Re: Double Standards for oral??? Sorry but if a couple asked that of us we would tell them "thanks but, NO thanks" and walk away.

04-27-2007, 06:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
daisy girl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 264 Location: Virginia Status: married female SLS Name:porttasters	Re: Double Standards for oral??? I just wonder about the fairness quotient. I can have oral with you and you don't have to wear a condom. Your wife can have oral with my husband but he has to wear a condom? I think we would pass. Last edited by daisy girl : 04-27-2007 at 07:52 PM.

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