Met a great woman but she has STDs

[curious24]

So I meet this great woman and she tells me she has Herpes and HPV from a high school sweet heart from over 10 years ago.

I don't know much about either but what I do know is that they are both viruses. HPV can be very bad news for women but I *hear* that it goes away in a year or so. Is this true?

Also, this herpes thing. Damnit. What's the deal with that? I know that I've heard you can get it even without a break out but even just skin contact with the effected area can be harmful.

So unfortunately I think I'm going to break things off with this woman because I just don't want to risk it. Any ideas on how I should let her down?

[ohash01]

Be gentle...but honest. Something along the lines of "You're a great woman...(list why)...but at this point in my life I'm not comfortable with taking the chance of risking my health. We can be safe, but that will never really be safe enough." I don't know. Never had to do it. But be honest.

[Mr. Truelove]

http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

Just trying to point you in the right direction.

Mr. Truelove.

[ShellyM]

I won't be pc correct, I'll be honest. I'm sorry, and I am sure she is an absolutely wonderful woman. But as soon as I heard she has this disease it would be no play for me. Thats just me, your body is your decision.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

your body is your decision.

Yup. That statement alone says it all!

[EvilMJ]

HPV is VERY common and a lot of people don't know they ever have/had it, and yes it can go away, I don't know how long it takes. It can cause gential warts in both sexes and cervical cancer in women I would be more concerned about the Herpes.

My advise is to read up on it and get some medical information on all the risks involved in having any sort of sexual intercourse with this woman and the determine if you are willing to take those risks.

[Chicup]

Well I'd give her credit for telling you, but I would have a hard time buying the 'my highschool sweetheart gave me TWO stds' line.

[good times]

I would have to agree with the others and would not have sex with her either. The problem is that condoms aren't very effective at preventing the transfer of either of these, and I just wouldn't be willing to take a chance. And even though it is believed that HPV often goes away on its own eventually, I still wouldn't want to get it.

[HerpesMWC]

I have Herpes and I got it from my wife AFTER she told me she had it and BEFORE we enaged in sex or got married. Had I been stupid enough to call it off when she told me, I would not have just celebrated my 10th anniversary nor would I have my two beautiful daughters.

Neither HPV or HSV "Go Away". You will always have them and will always be able to infect others. The symptoms may very well dissappear. Mine have. Her's almost have.

Honestly, I'd rather have a Herpes outbreak than a common cold. A pill or two and my outbreak is gone in a day, the cold lingers for a week or more.

So, as far as I'm concerned. Date this "Great Woman" and see how things go. It gives you the PERFECT opportunity to get to know HER and vice versa.

[conwaycpl4u]

As I am new to this, I know people who have both HPV and HSV. Both have had sex partners and long-term partners, NEITHER have contracted the virus. From the people that I know that have them, they are ALWAYS honest about having the virus, isn't that what we ask for anyway? It is my understanding from reading up on the virus, that neither go away and neither have a cure, but there are "preventatives" that help to prevent the outbreaks and symptoms, and hopefully the risk of spreading the virus. I would say to be honest with her and let her know your concerns. Don't completely discount her as a friend or a possible lover. Let her answer your questions and concerns and even consult a doctor on your own about it.

Also, I would be apt to believe her on how she contracted the virus, if she is telling you that she has the virus, she probably wouldn't lie about how she got it. She could have not told you at all.

Nae

[StacyCat]

HPV is very very common, and most people either already have it, or have had it in the past (it can clear up on its own.) Someone disclosing they have HPV to me would not mean I woudlnt fuck them.

Herpes, well, I have had several friends that have it, and have not passed it on to their long term partners. If a boyfriend or lover of mine had it, and it was a sufficently long term relationship, I would still have sex with them. However, I wouldnt risk it for a swinger type fling. But, it is basically harmless, the breakouts are a pain, and if you have a breakout during childbirth you have to have a C Section, but other than that it is basically harmless.

[MoonLightKiss]

Curious, ultimately, you have to do what you are comfortable with. This is your body, and you have to live with it good or bad. My advice would be to take the time you need to make the decision. Rash decisions are usually the ones we regret. Decide if this woman is a fling or relationship material. Are you willing to date her? With or without sex? But the question I would ask myself is "If I slept with them, contracted the virus, then broke up, would I regret it?" Because that's the ultimate question IMO. And if this woman is a great woman, and you want to date her, get to know her, but not sure if you want to have sex with her yet because of the viruses...tell her that. Nothing wrong with waiting. In the meantime, getting all the information you can on these viruses, including prevention, treatments, symptoms and so forth will probably be a good idea should you choose to date her. Informed decisions are best.

Wishing you the best in this situation curious24, keep us posted.

[Beaverbumper]

Just understand that there is no cure for Herpies..