Telling Partners You Have an STD

Well, it finally happened. Despite trying to be as careful as possible, the male half of our couple has contracted an STD - Molluscum Contagiosum. This is a relatively benign condition that can be spread through non-sexual means as well as through sex. Since Mr. got it on and around his genitals, we're assuming STD. There's no real health risk associated with Molluscum, but it is highly contagious. I have somehow managed to not get the condition - at least not that we can tell. It goes without saying that we've layed off of swinging and even sex with each other until the condition is resolved. Mr. is currently getting treatment at a local clinic and hopes to be all better in the next couple of weeks.

Here's the question. We've only been with two other couples in the last six months which means that in all probability Mr. got the Molluscum from one of these two women. It also means that he has potentially exposed one of them to the condition. We haven't told either of them yet, but how would you approach it? Is it a "I might have given you Molluscum" or is it a "You might have given me Molluscum"?

We don't want to accuse anyone, but we also don't want to totally take on the blame here as we've been relatively responsible in who we've chosen to play with and we've always used condomes - even this time.

Thanks for your opinions.

[JustAskJulie]

I would tell them but I wouldn't go at it from either of those angles (accusing or admitting blame). I would just be honest and explain "hey I got this thing and evidently it's sexually transmitted. I'm guessing I got it since we've been swinging and it's only been you and one other couple so I wanted to let you guys know so can get checked out....." You might even start off by asking if they've ever heard it before. Explain that your wife hasn't contracted it as of yet and tell them what you know about it. Chances are if they know they have it they will tell you, if not they will probably get a little worried and do some research. I've never even heard of this virus and from the looks of it's more likely to be transmitted in other ways than sex than by sex... but since it's on your penis, I'd say it's a good assumption that's how you got it.

[ohash01]

Molluscum Contagiosum is actually MORE likely to NOT be an STD. Granted, if you aren't around children or work out mats or wet towels (this stuff just breeds like CRAZY at gyms and can live on any surface for 24 hours) then it may be. But there are TONS of ways to get it. Be careful, the gray matter in the middle is the contagious part. I've heard lots of great things about using nano-silver to clear it up. Otherwise, outbreaks can last as long as 2 years.

[Amanda69]

The facts, just the facts maam...

What is molluscum contagiosum?

Molluscum contagiosum is a viral infection of the skin. It appears as small, pearl-shaped spots which are pink in colour. It may occur at any age but is typically found in children.

It is not a serious disease and usually clears up within a few months. It can, however, last for up to two years.

How do you contract molluscum contagiosum?

It is an infection caused by a virus called poxvirus. The infection can result from direct contact, including sexual contact, or by indirect contact, such as sharing towels, or from swimming pools.

The incubation period from the time of initial contact until the molluscum or spots appear is anything from two to eight weeks.

The symptoms of molluscum contagiosum

* Pink, pearl-like spots on the face, arms and legs, which can be 1 to 5mm in diameter.

* If the infection is sexually transmitted, the molluscum can be seen on the genitals, thighs and the lower part of the stomach.

Good advice

* Be patient - the condition will pass.

* Wash your hands after touching the molluscum.

* Do not share towels used on the infected area with other people.

* Avoid scratching the molluscum as this may cause further infection.

How does the doctor make the diagnosis?

The diagnosis is made by examining the patient's skin.

Outlook

This is a benign disease that spontaneously improves after a couple of months. In patients with AIDS, it may develop as a general or pervasive (gradually spreading) skin infection.

How is molluscum contagiosum treated?

* Usually no treatment is given since the disease disappears by itself.

* Larger and troublesome molluscum can be frozen or scraped away under local anaesthesia.

* Antiseptic applied to the affected areas is helpful only if local infection occurs - which shows as painful red areas around the molluscum spots.

[HerpesMWC]

STD?

Jeez, if that's the case for Molluscum Contagiosum, then my 4 year old daughter and 9 year old daughter have STDs!

I think not. If Molluscum Contagiosum is an STD, than so is a cold and Poison Ivy. Rest assured this virus is going to be a PAIN in both your arses for the coming year or more, but the doctor (dermatologist) can remove them and greatly shorten your infection and your discomfort. They ITCH! DON"T SCRATCH THEM. That's how they spread on your own body. And especially don't scratch them and then scratch your @$#$@#^%$. Ouch. My yougest daughter (who contracted it last) has had it for two years. Neither of them used the cream (caused more issue than the virus) or had them removed (too painful for a 4 year old).

[ShellyM]

I'll be honest. I think if you have only been with 2 couples you owe it to them to contact them to let them know. Thats jmo, but I personally would appreciate it. I don't think you should be ashamed or embarrased. We are all adults, and all know the risks. So, I would appreciate at least an email.

[MoonLightKiss]

I agree with Shelly. Even if this is not an STD, an email to give them a heads up would probably be good. I would want one before I freaked out noticing something. You can even approach it from the angle of "Hey I noticed I have this skin condition that I contracted...its not necessarily an STD. But I wanted to give you a heads up, like I would if it was poison ivy or poison oak. Although it is located in quite an embarassing spot, I did not want you freak out like I did." If nothing else, they would be relieved to find out it was not a serious disease, just irritating. Of course I am no doctor so I based my response on the fact that others said its not an STD.

I definetly agree that you need to be honest with the couples you have been with and let them know that somehow you have contracted this but not sure how it came about. However, it being an STD I am not agreeing with. My daughter contracted this when she was 7 or 8 and the doctor said she could have contracted it at daycare, school, in a bathroom, swimming pool or anything like that.

Ever since she has not had any issues with it after that and it only lasted a month or so.

MrsVan