Swinging in your Baby making years

[Amanda69]

Okay yes I know that title is a little goofy. I just could not come up with something else to reflect what I want to ask about.

In this thread http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...267#post236267 a Poster was asking about contraception for the prevention of pregnancy while swinging.

In my response I included the information that when I first started swinging the average age appeared much older and had mostly finished with their baby making years. It really wasn't a topic that came up at all during that time and I never heard any stories of someone getting pregnant and being unsure of who the father might be.

Now I do recognize that the average age appears to be a lot younger these days. How do younger couples deal with the risk of pregnancy? (as the poster in the other thread pointed out Condoms do break). What about emotionally during this time? Isn't this when a couple is moving more insular, starting their family...protective of the young children and babies. How do you cope with the mixed feelings? Or do you have any mixed feelings?

To be honest I can't imagine me swinging during that time in my life. My head wwas in a total other space emotionally and biologically.

Have people heard of couples getting pregnant in the lifestyle and questioning who the father is? Or is this just another myth started to scare people out of swinging? (We have certainly never heard of this)

Younger couples is this something that you consider when looking at swinging?

[Spoomonkey]

We are not a younger couple (I am 37, Mrs Spoo is 49) but, I thought I would answer one of your questions:

Originally Posted by Amanda69

Have people heard of couples getting pregnant in the lifestyle and questioning who the father is? Or is this just another myth started to scare people out of swinging?

I tend to think it is possible for people to get pregnant by swinging, but I also tend to think the risk of that is really blown out of proportion - in a willful or not attempt to scare people. "We got pregnant and ended up on Maury" is certainly more interesting and scandalous than "we have a delightful time and hope to see them again."

A motto of mine that I find myself subscribing to more and more everyday is that "truth is whatever is interesting." I think that certainly fits here. I think the idea of "a playmate got me pregnant" is - while perfectly possible - mostly a campfire story, told with flashlight turned up under the chin...

Fortunately, we are both "fixed" so condoms for us are just "disease ease".

Spoomonkey

[daisy girl]

Hi there!

We are both 34, do not have children, and do not plan on having children. I have been on the pill for 15 years. I guess I am one of those long-term experiments . I am very diligent about taking the pill...it is such a ritual for me. We also always use condoms with our playmates. We have considered surgical measures but haven't made the decision yet. Besides, I like being predictable on the pill .

So, I guess what I am saying is that -planning for a future pregnancy is not something that drives my swinging activities. I don't know about the emotional peice and the desire to have a family. I have never felt that. I just feel like I have always felt.

n

[good times]

We are also past that point in life and have been for some time. I got a vasectomy about 15 years ago when we decided we did not want any more children. Once we started swinging though that was probably our number one worry because Mrs. GT was still fertile. Even though I think the chances of pregnancy from swinging is remote if condoms are used, Mrs. GT went ahead and got her tubes tied just to be safe. Now we have one less thing to worry about spoiling the fun of swinging.

I think the stories one hears occasionally about someone getting pregnant while swinging are probably fictitious for the most part.

[biblonde]

I am sure pregnancy happens, but I think it is very very rare. With us hubby has been fixed for 13 years and I am back on the pill as an extra protection besides just the condom.

[2jersey]

We soft swapped with a twenty-something couple which was using a condom as their sole method of birth control. Their choice of birth control related to the fact that they were planning on becoming pregnant in the subsequent few months. Full swap under these conditions would have made us nervous (because of the risk of pregnancy).

On their website, Planned Parenthood quotes a CDC study in which condom breakage rates are 2%. Other studies have shown that many people use condoms incorrectly, causing condoms to slip off, etc... and boosting the failure rate to well above 2%.

Assuming 2% is an accurate estimate of condom failure - you can assume that 2% of the time condom users will be at risk of accidental sperm transferral. This risk is mitigated if the breakage is discovered prior to ejaculation. If semen is transferred to the vagina of a fertile women, there is risk of pregnancy (although ovulation must also occurr).

Fortunately, for most swingers, condoms serve as a secondary (redundant) method of birth control. If you combine two birth control methods with an uncorrelated 98% effectiveness, you have an extremely small joint failure rate (because the secondary method will prevent pregnancy 98% of 2% of the time).

The material difference between '2%' (condom alone) and '2% of 2%' (condom and IUD or pill) is a good reason to prefer overlapping birth control methods - one method being a condom and the other being an IUD or pill. Morning after pills are also a good idea.

[Pepper & Drew]

As my mama says, 'it's not THAT easy to get pregnant.'

I'm on the pill and have been for 15 years and I definitely take it religiously. So, there's a 3% chance of my getting pregnant from that. Then, factor in that we use condoms, which has about an 85% effectiveness rate, and I think I have a better shot at getting struck by lightening (which is surprisingly common). Is it a possibility? Yes. Something I worry about a great deal? No.

As far nesting is concerned, Drew and I don't have any children, and are undecided on whether we will have children, so mixed feelings about protecting children isn't something we deal with. And, it seems that a lot of people our age who swing either don't have any children, or they do, but they don't seem riddled with guilt about swinging and what it may do to the children. At least, we haven't noticed any distractions ...

Pepper

[daisy girl]

Pepper...your mom sounds very wise . 2Jersey thanks for the info. I think it is important to know the facts about contraception. It helps to have accurate info.

[rpu3]

Hmmm.... yet more things to consider! When will it ever end? ;-)

My husband and I are childfree by choice. He had a vasectomy, I, by default, don't use anything. Now we swing and we are a "condoms a must" category kind of people.

I am not at all thrilled with the idea of going on the pill at age 37. I am rather conscious of my cycle, and regular life has managed to throw a regular BBQ or poker game during my most fertile time for the last three months. But that won't always happen, I'm sure.

I guess I could look into tubal ligation, or check into the morning-after pill as a backup.

I shall go look at the PP site, but is there anyone else in a similar situation, or know of alternative birth control besides the pill? I'm not against it, but I haven't needed to be on it for over 12 years and am kinda worried about hormones and gaining weight (I've lost over 70 lbs and have kept it off, and do not like putting weight back on -it's my freak thing).

Rebecca

[Lumina]

Pregnancy is a huge fear for me. One of the big reasons why for now we're keeping it soft swap. If we do go full, it will likely be only with men who have had vasectomies. Possibly with a backup even then. I don't trust birth control completely. I concieved my youngest through a condom and hormonal birth control isn't an option for me. Nor is getting a surgery just so I can swing. I have a family history of hysterectomies, so I will likely get all my babymaking organs removed and can then go all wild.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by rpu3

Hmmm.... yet more things to consider! When will it ever end? ;-)

My husband and I are childfree by choice. He had a vasectomy, I, by default, don't use anything. Now we swing and we are a "condoms a must" category kind of people.

I am not at all thrilled with the idea of going on the pill at age 37. I am rather conscious of my cycle, and regular life has managed to throw a regular BBQ or poker game during my most fertile time for the last three months. But that won't always happen, I'm sure.

I guess I could look into tubal ligation, or check into the morning-after pill as a backup.

I shall go look at the PP site, but is there anyone else in a similar situation, or know of alternative birth control besides the pill? I'm not against it, but I haven't needed to be on it for over 12 years and am kinda worried about hormones and gaining weight (I've lost over 70 lbs and have kept it off, and do not like putting weight back on -it's my freak thing).

Rebecca

There's other options. You could get fitted for a diaphram, or get an IUD or the contraceptive patch. PP is a good starting point, or you could go to your ob/gyn and discuss your options. It's 2006, it's not necessarily the pill or nothing. There are LOTS of options out there.

Pepper

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by rpu3

He had a vasectomy, I, by default, don't use anything. Now we swing and we are a "condoms a must" category kind of people.

Hi Rebecca, we are the same.

Originally Posted by rpu3

I shall go look at the PP site, but is there anyone else in a similar situation, or know of alternative birth control besides the pill? I'm not against it, but I haven't needed to be on it for over 12 years and am kinda worried about hormones and gaining weight (I've lost over 70 lbs and have kept it off, and do not like putting weight back on -it's my freak thing).

There are lots of different types of hormone bc methods, and also non-hormonal devices. After having been on the Pill for many years earlier in life, I'm so done with that (I've been off of that for several years). Like you, I lost a lot of weight and have kept it off, and I know for a fact that the hormone methods make me gain weight. Also, I'm just done with altering my hormones and all that goes with that. I'm not interested in any of the alternative female BC methods I've read about, including surgery. We're a condom-always couple and hopefully that's enough, but I do think about it sometimes.

You could ask your ob/gyn for specifics, as we're all different. Certain health considerations are involved, like high blood pressure, when choosing a BC method. So, your own doctor would be the best to help you decide.
You might want to look into all of the non-hormonal methods and see if any of them seem viable to you.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

There's other options. You could get fitted for a diaphram, or get an IUD or the contraceptive patch.

Just wanted to mention that the contraceptive patch is a hormone method like the pill, so may have similiar effects that the pill has on an individual.

[ShellyM]

I agree with the original post on baby making years......the reason why we are both well into our 30s and just starting is because we were so focused for a long time on having our children, and then taking care of them as babies. After our 3rd was born I had tubal ligation, so the chapter of having babies was closed....this is why we have entered into this "phase" so to speak. I don't know that I would be comfortable doing this with the ability to become pregnant in all honesty. I would definately use more than one form of BC while swinging. Condoms are a given, not just for pregnancy reasons. But I would probably use at least a sponge with the other man, if I were not also on the pill. It would be a definite concern.

[Alura]

Our "Baby Making Years" only lasted about 36 months. We quit the pill and swinging at the same time. After the births of our two kids, Mrs. Alura went back on the pill and we started tooking for a playcouple again. We always tructed the pill; it never gave us any scares.

Mr. Alura