Condomless oral opinions

[Spoomonkey]

Our opinion? We do it without. Are we medical professionals? Nope. Do we have studies that we have read that we can quote in favor of our position? Nope. Do we care? Not really.

We have done a good deal of reading and feel confident that the decision we are making is a good one. And - really - isn't that the only thing that matters?

So we can't explain mode of transmission or even tell you what a pathogen is, but we are convinced that our approach reduces risk while allowing us to still enjoy our play.

Spoomonkey

[seattlecpl06]

Hello, newbie here.

I actually asked my doctor about this today. He said that while it's theoretically possible to transmit any viral STD from genitals to your mouth, aside from herpes this is almost unheard of. In the "incurable" category (hepatitis, herpes, genital warts, HIV), he'd only ever heard of herpes being transmitted this way. He agreed that with good oral health (no bleeding gums, no open sores, no cuts) the odds of transmitting these diseases -- while non-zero -- was vanishingly small. Since my girl and I have herpes (HSV-2) and would only be playing with other HSV-2 couples, I'm not too worried about this.

That being said, he said that bacterial infections (syphillus, gonorrhea, etc.) CAN be transmitted oral-genitally from unprotected oral sex and that he'd seen a couple of cases. However, almost all of these can be treated easily with antibiotics, so they're not as much of a worry. Since my g/f and I are going to be kinda picky about our partners and require regular screenings within our little "group" -- again, it's a risk we've agreed to take.

So, in summary, my doc confirmed: the odds of getting the truly scary (incurable and/or fatal) stuff from unprotected oral is tiny. The things you CAN catch are regularly screened for, not quickly disfiguring or fatal, and treatable with antibiotics.

We haven't yet entered the lifestyle (still in the planning stages), but from what we've read and heard, using protection during intercourse and having unprotected oral is a tiny risk that we're willing to take.

[Mid Life Couple]

We have been in the lifestyle for a number of years. When we first became involved we asked a Dr. friend this question. Mostly out of concern about HIV. She explained that one of the factors in infection is viral load. In other words, how much virus are you exposed to. Since that is a factor, oral (without swallowing the man's ejaculate) would be lower risk compared to vaginal or anal sex. Anal sex without a condom being the greatest risk because of tares in the anal opening that occur during sex. She said unprotected vaginal or anal sex delivers several cc of infected body fluid, where oral (without cumming) would be significantly lower, and probably not enough to cause infection.

So, for us, we use condoms for vaginal, NO anal ever (except with our SO) and go "natural" for oral.

[Lovemates28]

Originally Posted by Mid Life Couple

We have been in the lifestyle for a number of years. When we first became involved we asked a Dr. friend this question. Mostly out of concern about HIV. She explained that one of the factors in infection is viral load. In other words, how much virus are you exposed to. Since that is a factor, oral (without swallowing the man's ejaculate) would be lower risk compared to vaginal or anal sex. Anal sex without a condom being the greatest risk because of tares in the anal opening that occur during sex. She said unprotected vaginal or anal sex delivers several cc of infected body fluid, where oral (without cumming) would be significantly lower, and probably not enough to cause infection.

So, for us, we use condoms for vaginal, NO anal ever (except with our SO) and go "natural" for oral.

Sorry if this is a silly question, but I'm trying to get things straight. I understand what you're saying about oral being lower than vaginal or anal sex, but when you say without swallowing, does this mean that you aren't taking the mans cum in your mouth at all? (Taking him there, but removing your mouth right before he cums?) I'm trying to understand how much of a difference there is in risk factors between swallowing and spitting. (I work in insurance, my entire job is measuring risk!) Thanks for clarifying!
Mrs. Lovemates

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Mid Life Couple

We have been in the lifestyle for a number of years. When we first became involved we asked a Dr. friend this question. Mostly out of concern about HIV. She explained that one of the factors in infection is viral load. In other words, how much virus are you exposed to. Since that is a factor, oral (without swallowing the man's ejaculate) would be lower risk compared to vaginal or anal sex. Anal sex without a condom being the greatest risk because of tares in the anal opening that occur during sex. She said unprotected vaginal or anal sex delivers several cc of infected body fluid, where oral (without cumming) would be significantly lower, and probably not enough to cause infection.

So, for us, we use condoms for vaginal, NO anal ever (except with our SO) and go "natural" for oral.

From the medical literature we've read, we have heard the same things and we proceed with activities the same way you do, too.

Since a man cumming in my mouth poses a higher risk for me than oral without cumming, I don't let them cum in my mouth, either. The last poster asked about spitting or swallowing. Doesn't matter, it's still a full load in your mouth. I give oral, but the only one who can cum in my mouth is my hubby. I could finish the other guys with my hand, or he could slide on a condom and we could continue from there with vaginal sex. The latter is the typical way nearly all the time.

Almost everyone we've been with so far seems to follow the same info (anal most risky, followed by intercourse, followed by oral w/cum). People we've been with all give head without barriers (no cum in mouth, except a little pre-cum), but use condoms for intercourse.

A few we've been with are condom-optional types. Their profile says "upon request" in the field for condom use (this is on Swappernet). We prefer people who are "condom always" types when it comes to vaginal intercourse. In our experiences, this seems to be the majority. We haven't met anybody yet who won't play with us if they have to use a condom.

[in4alook]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Since a man cumming in my mouth poses a higher risk for me than oral without cumming, I don't let them cum in my mouth, either. The last poster asked about spitting or swallowing. Doesn't matter, it's still a full load in your mouth.

I heard Dr Drew on the radio a few nights ago on Love Line mention this. According to him the mouth is a fairly inhospitable place for std s however the lining of the throat is a good place to get them. So you should be about as safe allowing semen in your mouth as the pre-ejaculate that will be in your mouth during a BJ just don't swallow in either case if you can help it.

The list according to him if I can remember it correctly, goes like this from most dangerous to least dangerous.

Anal sex both partners equal.
Vaginal sex slightly higher risk for the woman.
Oral sex swallowing for the woman and man on woman equal.
Oral sex slightly higher risk for the woman not swallowing, man receiving oral least dangerous.

[in4alook]

Update to previous comment.

Just Heard Dr Drew tonight mention that some std s are hard to get from certain sex acts, while others are not, the throat is a great place to catch gonorrhea for instance but HPV is of almost no concern. He claims a less than 1% chance of catching HPV via oral sex,"its almost unheard of". He claimed.

Just thought I would throw than in since it was fresh in my mind.

[luvscum]

Hello group
We have been swinging many many years. My favorite is oral to cumpletion. I like it all but oral the most.We get regular check upsMy doctor says pretty much what all of you have said.He may be lying to me because he is one of my favorites. We feel that the men we party with are very safe all are married with families. As far as I know I am the only women they see out side of their marriage (many with the wifes permission. If anyone is interested email us. I willtreat you well. luvscum@webtv.net

[busparet]

Hi.
Also precum can infect u.

http://www.dmt123.com/health-elite/0336.html


cheers

[couplereadingpa]

Originally Posted by tribbles

half the females jump on bareback without asking till they are on, if it is ok. Yeah, they should ask but we are used to the reality most don't.

I just had to write after seeing your post. That kind of shocked me the first time it happened. I always thought of the men stereotypically being the irresponsble ones lol. I was laying there and she just got on top and I said wait, shouldn't I....and she said no, she had everything removed and only been with 2 other guys in her life. Another woman didnt even bring it up....kind of amazed me

[Alura]

I once asked my doctor for guidance on this subject.

His opinion was that viruses are extremely fragile, easily killed instantly by the strong chemicals in the mouth and stomach.

Our personal approach to the issue is simply not to have sex with anyone we think might pose a risk. We know this is not 100% safe but we refuse to engage in swinging with fear.

There is very little risk for disease with married couples, who represent a very low-risk for STDs in general, particularly AIDs. The only group, I've been told, with a lower risk is lesbians. We haven't been able to find any lesbians who wanted to play with us.

You could, without a doubt, reduce your risk by using Saran Wrap for kissing and performing oral sex on a woman or condoms on a man, but there comes a point when the precautions outweigh the fun.

Mrs. Alura's theory is that if she takes a penis into her mouth or pussy, she fully expects to receive the man's come. If she's not comfortable with that, she doesn't allow the cock to enter her.

Mr. Alura

[lookingfornow]

The prime reason we use condoms is HIV, not any of the other deseases.

There is practically no way to reduce to zero your risk of contracting any sexually transmitted desease. However, statistically, HIV is the most dangerous and the most difficult to transmit. With good health and good oral health, the risk of sexual oral contact leading to contraction of the desease is very, very remote (by all accounts). For us, the danger associated with the desease and the relatively small inconvenience of wearing a condom during intercourse makes sense. During oral, the reduction in pleasure to all participants tips the scales the other way.

If it weren't for HIV, I doubt we'd be condom users much at all. Herpes is certainly a concern, and there is no question that condoms statistically lessen the risk of transmission. However, there are so many other ways of contracting the desease that using condoms (when you are knowingly engaging in high risk contact) seems foolish. It is like homeland security. It may give you the impression of safety, but that is about it. Same with HPV.

Frankly, we count on individuals with these conditions to play responsibly. That is not to say don't play at all. Just, don't play when the chances of infection are at their highest (during outbreaks, etc.).

Still, there is a risk of transmission while the carrier is asymptomatic (no outward signs of infection). By all accounts, this risk, too, is very small. Life is full of risks. Life is also short.

[cuzzeyesaidso]

I have to say that after we lost the condoms with the one couple we see on a regular basis, the sex has improved immensely.

We discussed going bare after the two women shared some toys without cleaning them between users. It seemed as if the sexual intensity had been turned up a couple notches. There's something truly sensational about emptying your nuts into another man's wife while he cheers you on and slaps your wife on the ass just before he returns the favor.

You would think we learned our lesson.....hell naw. A few months later we bought a single lady over that was interested in the lifestyle. 3 women, 2 men and a couple of shared strap-ons later, we were all laying around sweating and trying to catch our breath. And once again I'm on my way home realizing the fact that we basically had unprotected sex with our new friend. Wooohooo!

The best part was she watched the four of us play bareback and wanted to join us.

If so many of us are doing it this way, how wrong is it really?