Safe Sex Freakout!!!

LIZA · 08-02-2001, 01:40 PM

Cute Cpl,

I was not trying to offend but merely to give you the perspective that I personally think most in this lifestyle have
If you do not discuss your practices upfront BEFORE getting naked, then you get in a sexual situation and pull out dental dams (and even condoms) for oral, most people will probably be offended, confused or think you are "fanatics" ............Myself I would not use a condom for oral but also would not do oral to completion in my mouth OR perform if I had open sores! That seems safe enought to me.............I know a lot of other people who probably have intercourse without a condom and think nothing of it. So on the "safety spectrum" you are probably a 10, I am a 6 and many others are 1's. You just need to let potential partners know BEFORE HAND........Myself personally I would probably pass on an encounter if dental dams were required

CuteCouple · 08-02-2001, 04:12 PM

My bf and I have been discussing this topic quite a lot in the past week and we have come to the conclusion that we would totally be uncomfortable doing things any different. I guess, for both of us, condoms became a habit very early on in our sexual adventures, long before even meeting! After having a teenage pregnancy, it was my mission to always practice safe sex and am happy to say, I have not had another unplanned child.

Condoms for oral just became a practice for me, after constantly hearing about AIDS and unsafe sex... blah blah blah... You will get no disagreement here, that sex and oral are better without protection, for sure! I luv to suck and fu*k and having to change the condoms constantly kind of dampens things but to me, in the long run, it's worth the risk and the men we've had threesomes with were ok with it...but then again they knew what they were getting into beforehand.

My bf, will personally take a bj anyway he can get it, he doesn't care if there are condoms involved and he knows for certain he doesn't want anyone, other than him cuming in my mouth.

So, even after a lot of converstation, and telling him what I've learned here, we both agree that we still want to be 10s. For him, it's painful memories of watching his uncle die that motivate him and for me years of hardship being a teen mom and being very aware of the risks of AIDS. We'll be 1s with each other

08-02-2001, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CuteCouple:
.....We'll be 1s with each other

More like, be COMFORTABLE with each other....

CyberWife

CanadianCouple · 08-02-2001, 09:06 PM

Cybercouple and StrateCpl --

Thanks for the good wishes. After months of not even having contact with any couples, lately we've been snowed under. Aside from the couple we hope to meet next week, we met another couple in person this past weekend. There are a couple of other ones we're in contact with as well. When it rains, it pours...

Dan

10-18-2001, 06:18 PM

I saw this topic, and just had to post a reply, so here's my two cents on this issue: I think it comes down to this. No matter what another couple or other people prefer to use (or not use) in the way of protection, or how common (or uncommon it is), they should absolutely respect your preference for safe sex. My hubby and I havn't even really even gotten into this lifestyle yet, but we would defintiely be polite about accepting or rejecting someone's request to use any certain type of protection, and we'd respect their decision not to play with us if we didn't use it. (I'd respect someone's else's preference to not have safe sex as well - they just wouldn't be havin' it with us!)

CuteCouple · 10-21-2001, 03:01 PM

You are very right in what you are saying. We made a mistake by not being specific enough about what safe sex meant to us and that is a mistake we haven't made or won't make again. Being upfront and totally honest is the best way to go.

I ended up getting pregnant that night (birth control failure) so I guess what happened was for a damn good reason.

I go to sleep every night knowing who fathered my child and if things had went different that eve, I would always be wondering.

lycioos · 10-21-2001, 04:34 PM

CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!! You guys are a good example for bunny and clyde. (another post who asked about birth control) Best of luck in the future!!

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08-02-2001, 01:40 PM	#31 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	Cute Cpl, I was not trying to offend but merely to give you the perspective that I personally think most in this lifestyle have If you do not discuss your practices upfront BEFORE getting naked, then you get in a sexual situation and pull out dental dams (and even condoms) for oral, most people will probably be offended, confused or think you are "fanatics" ............Myself I would not use a condom for oral but also would not do oral to completion in my mouth OR perform if I had open sores! That seems safe enought to me.............I know a lot of other people who probably have intercourse without a condom and think nothing of it. So on the "safety spectrum" you are probably a 10, I am a 6 and many others are 1's. You just need to let potential partners know BEFORE HAND........Myself personally I would probably pass on an encounter if dental dams were required

08-02-2001, 04:12 PM	#32 (permalink)
CuteCouple Active Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 19 Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada	My bf and I have been discussing this topic quite a lot in the past week and we have come to the conclusion that we would totally be uncomfortable doing things any different. I guess, for both of us, condoms became a habit very early on in our sexual adventures, long before even meeting! After having a teenage pregnancy, it was my mission to always practice safe sex and am happy to say, I have not had another unplanned child. Condoms for oral just became a practice for me, after constantly hearing about AIDS and unsafe sex... blah blah blah... You will get no disagreement here, that sex and oral are better without protection, for sure! I luv to suck and fu*k and having to change the condoms constantly kind of dampens things but to me, in the long run, it's worth the risk and the men we've had threesomes with were ok with it...but then again they knew what they were getting into beforehand. My bf, will personally take a bj anyway he can get it, he doesn't care if there are condoms involved and he knows for certain he doesn't want anyone, other than him cuming in my mouth. So, even after a lot of converstation, and telling him what I've learned here, we both agree that we still want to be 10s. For him, it's painful memories of watching his uncle die that motivate him and for me years of hardship being a teen mom and being very aware of the risks of AIDS. We'll be 1s with each other

08-02-2001, 09:06 PM	#34 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	Cybercouple and StrateCpl -- Thanks for the good wishes. After months of not even having contact with any couples, lately we've been snowed under. Aside from the couple we hope to meet next week, we met another couple in person this past weekend. There are a couple of other ones we're in contact with as well. When it rains, it pours... Dan

10-18-2001, 06:18 PM	#35 (permalink)
estiferia Posts: n/a	I saw this topic, and just had to post a reply, so here's my two cents on this issue: I think it comes down to this. No matter what another couple or other people prefer to use (or not use) in the way of protection, or how common (or uncommon it is), they should absolutely respect your preference for safe sex. My hubby and I havn't even really even gotten into this lifestyle yet, but we would defintiely be polite about accepting or rejecting someone's request to use any certain type of protection, and we'd respect their decision not to play with us if we didn't use it. (I'd respect someone's else's preference to not have safe sex as well - they just wouldn't be havin' it with us!)

10-21-2001, 03:01 PM	#36 (permalink)
CuteCouple Active Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 19 Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada	You are very right in what you are saying. We made a mistake by not being specific enough about what safe sex meant to us and that is a mistake we haven't made or won't make again. Being upfront and totally honest is the best way to go. I ended up getting pregnant that night (birth control failure) so I guess what happened was for a damn good reason. I go to sleep every night knowing who fathered my child and if things had went different that eve, I would always be wondering.

10-21-2001, 04:34 PM	#37 (permalink)
lycioos Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 123	CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!! You guys are a good example for bunny and clyde. (another post who asked about birth control) Best of luck in the future!!