Venting: Condoms, STD's the Universe and everything

[tncinmd]

First let us say that we're not trying to influence anyone on any decisions they may have made, nor to question the reasons they've made them. We respect those deicisons.

What drives us nuts, and we are the veterans of a number of forums, even help moderate one, is the seemingly constant need to interject one's personal choice into every thread, Specificaly those where it hasn't been solicited.

We don't state our preferences and never will. We seem to draw a lot of newbies. When we discuss the subject with them, if they haven't really thought it through, we refer them to the CDC site, tell them to read, assess and discuss the risks and get back to us. We respect people enough to think they are intelligent enough to make their own decisons. No need for us to preach our particular take on it.

We don't man to be nasty, but, if we had the slightest suspicion that our play partner(s) had an STD or HIV, we wouldn't have sex with them even with a condom, even if that condom was attached to a 10 foot pole and we were wearing biohazard suits.

We also find the various attitudes towards latex allergy to be widely unsympathetic. If you've lived through a severe reaction, you wouldn't be as cavalier in suggesting "try polyurethane". Yeah, easy for you to say.

In life we assiduously avoid voluntary endeavors that carry the risk of death or debilitation. If we ever felt, as apparently many here do, that swinging carried such risks, we'd have to seriously re-think our continuing participation.

End of our 2 cent rant...keep the change.

[HappyPeople]

So use condoms when you play, what's teh big deal?

Edit: Or wait, are you saying that you can't use condoms? I am a bit confused... Anyway, if you can't use a condom for some reason, there are statistically less likely ways to get infected while playing other than relying on supsicion of infection as a guide. If you've got some kind of condom limit, accept the limits and play safely within them or cope with the risk.

Note: Although I prefer not to discuss it, I have a degree and specialize in a field involving disease so if you have any specific questions, ask - if I don't know off hand, I can find a reliable source of information for you.

[mark069]

Originally Posted by tncinmd

We also find the various attitudes towards latex allergy to be widely unsympathetic. If you've lived through a severe reaction, you wouldn't be as cavalier in suggesting "try polyurethane". Yeah, easy for you to say

An allergic reaction is no joking matter - anaphylactic shock can sometimes result which in severe cases can result in death! However, polyurethane should NOT give you an allergic reaction if you are allergic to latex rubber.

So if you wish to have protected, safe sex you really can.

[DBL D]

Every Adult store I go into I ask if they carry non-latex condoms. After a few dumb looks, we find out that they don't carry them. Clearly they have never had a problem from latex or simply don't use condoms or they'd be more sensitive to their public and have them. Pretty frustrating.

Male D

[northindycpl]

I am not sure I get this post.....

I am very alergic to latex and have no issues finding appropriate condoms and our partners don't mind using them, either.

Were you complaining about that?

[DBL D]

If you were asking me northindy, I was. Where do you find your condoms?
Tired of the looks.

Male D

[northindycpl]

I get them at the drugstore, like Walgreens or CVS. Meijer also carries them. I like the ones by Trojen. You can also get them at condoms.com and drugstore.com

[DBL D]

Thank you!

[Carol_Danny]

The most common non-latex condoms are made from polyurethane. I believe all the major brands have the PU condoms. The Durex brand is marketed as "Avanti" (we have some here), and the Trojan brand is called "Supra".

There are also "skin" condoms, made from sheep intestine, but they do not protect against HIV. The PU condoms protect against transmittal of HIV, are comparably priced to latex, and as comfortable.

-- Danny

[mark069]

Originally Posted by DBL D

If you were asking me northindy, I was. Where do you find your condoms?
Tired of the looks.

Male D

Avanti's are probably the most common type of polyurethane condom available and I would be very surprised if even the smallest town in the US did not carry them in one of the chain drug stores like Rite Aide or Walgreen's.

Also, we are living in the age of the internet so all you have to do is type "Avanti" into Froogle or Yahoo Shopping and you will see dozens of online merchants selling them. You will find a lot of other interesting condoms available online that aren't easy to find in the stores like flavored condoms, condoms that delay orgasm, condoms that give a tingling sensation, etc...

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by tncinmd

We also find the various attitudes towards latex allergy to be widely unsympathetic. If you've lived through a severe reaction, you wouldn't be as cavalier in suggesting "try polyurethane". Yeah, easy for you to say.

You know I get migranes from eating king crab meat?
I still eat steak.

Try polyurethane, its easy for me to say because I'm a doctor and I know how allergies and reactions work. If you have a latex allergy, which is a natural rubber, it has no bearing on polyurethane. You can be tested for this allergy safe from any reactions at a dermatologist.

[tncinmd]

We thought it was pretty plain what it was we were saying. We should have known better.

The latex thing was an afterthought, a secondary issue. Let's try an analogy to illustrate what the original point of this post was. If, on a general discussion board, someone posted that they loved skydiving and asked if any others did, posting a reply that you didn't like it would be rude. To add that there are too many risks involved would be condescending and, in point of fact, insulting to the original poster and anyone else who enjoyed the activity.

If a thread in other sections of this forum does NOT solicit advice as to whether one thinks that the activity is risky or whether you do or do not indulge, the analogy stands. In addition to this, it shows a definite lack of maturity on the part of such responders.

We're sorry if this gives anyone a headache. If it does, take two pills, see a doctor in the morning, then get a second opinion.

[montresor]

Opening myself up to a big honking flaming here, but....

Considering that tncinmd are forum "veterans" and "help moderate" one, you'd think they'd know that posting something on a forum would, oh, you know, generate responses? Forums are like conversations, and anyone logged on can jump in, whether or not what they say meets tncinmd's template of "getting it." If you don't like people's responses to what you've posted, maybe you should consider a format where stated opinions are not responded to. Like a billboard. Or a local access cable channel. Call the show "I'm Right, You're Stupid, So Shut Up."

Anyway, the not-very-latent hostility of their initial post, and the out-front hostility of their follow-up, seems to be out of place in a forum where working and playing well with others is one of the very reasons for its existence. I could do a deep textual analysis of the anger and condescension behind such phrases as "End of our 2 cent rant...keep the change," "We thought it was pretty plain what it was we were saying. We should have known better," "Let's try an analogy," and "We're sorry if this gives anyone a headache. If it does, take two pills, see a doctor in the morning, then get a second opinion," -- but I won't.

Whee doggies, as Uncle Jed has been wont to say. Maybe some people should do an online search for a forum for Swinging for Perfect Beings, Ascended Masters and Mensa Geniuses Who Are Smarter Than You. Down here on planet Earth, we all are just too vapid, apparently, for the likes of some cranium busters.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by tncinmd

We thought it was pretty plain what it was we were saying. We should have known better.

The latex thing was an afterthought, a secondary issue.

I believe the the title you gave the thread started with "Condoms, STDs...." led the responders to believe the primary focus of the thread was latex condoms. Thus our confusion and need for "2 pills and a doctor".

[Carol_Danny]

Originally Posted by tncinmd

We don't man to be nasty, but, if we had the slightest suspicion that our play partner(s) had an STD or HIV, we wouldn't have sex with them even with a condom, even if that condom was attached to a 10 foot pole and we were wearing biohazard suits.

Well, we wear condoms because we always have the "slightest suspicion" that our partners may have an STI (they may not even know, themselves). That's what condoms are for! You referred to the CDC website, well, "Swingers" are considered to be in a High Risk category when it comes to STI's.

Do you know the sexual history of every partner you have had? Have you seen a recent full spectrum STI test from them? Do you believe that they are always fully honest in what they tell you? If not, you should be, at the least, slightly suspicious.

I am not disrespecting your personal decisions, as they have nothing to do with me. But when you do post your thoughts in a public forum, expect a response, be it positive or negative. If you make a post, and I do disagree, I will comment. You will find that we never "toe the party line", and will always say what we believe. There are always a number of sides to any discussion, and everyone should have a say. I have changed positions on subjects based on what I have read, and checked, in message forums. I keep an open mind, and although I can be opinionated, I can also change my mind if shown the way.

-- Danny