Please tell me I'm not alone in my decision to only play with condoms

Situation. Have not been swinging in a long time. Thinking about maybe getting into again. Not sure. I have a new rule that has been broken plenty. I plan on being firm this time. The rule is condoms only!! Of course 2 days later, my husband sees someone he may be interested by just a partial pic. I don't think we would get along just be the profile. Anyway, They have not sent a pic, but sure send a long drawn out novel about how the female is allergic to condoms and rather would require bloodwork for all four. My husband was like, sure no problem. I am like I don't fricking think so. I am all for the blood work. I am clean as I just got "premium life insurance" so I want to stay that way!! My husband is like oh we would all be exclusive. Yeah right, people lie. I said I don't do anything anymore without condoms. Keep in mind it is all this drama and we havn't even seen pictures YET. My husband is acting like he hasn't had any in forever. So anyway. Please tell me that there are other people are on my side.
Thanks

[CuriousInOregon]

Ok so Im not much into drama BUT We 100% agree, Comdoms are a must all the time. There are too many things out there that can happen. We are not real fond of them either but When it comes to playtime with others we Insist. I suppose there may come a day where we meet the "right" couple and may try goin bareback but that has yet to happen and Not sure if it ever will. Welcome to the board and Good Luck

[txduo2000]

On your side, sister.

This is a boundary. Plain and simple, and you know this, this lifestyle can only be successful for both parties if boundaries are adhered to and fully respected.

I don't have a problem getting tested and providing results to whomever wants them. That's beside the point.

If you have a "condoms only" rule, then that is a very serious rule that definitely allows for no negotiation in my book. VERY serious consequences can occur, and you are right, people lie.

Stand firm ... No Condoms/No Play .... PERIOD.

Consider your husband informed.

[curiousduo30]

I would be leery even with the bloodwork...like you said you really DON'T know. Maybe talking rationally with your husband (no heated arguments or raised voices) might help more, have him read this thread, he may or may not be suprised by this, but MOST people in the lifestyle kinda require that condoms are used too...Now that is probably a HUGE assumption on my part, but having read posts here and talked to lots of people elsewhere, I feel I may be correct. DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING!!!! Your husband should understand this and be supportive, but he has probably got some feelings of his own on this that he may or may not be sharing...There are plenty of people in this lifestyle who are more than happy to wear a condom and you two should discuss looking for other people before you make any decisions...

Note: While I have been typing this the wise TXDUO2000 has just posted the best response as far as I can see...but I will post this as sheer backup of her and other's stances that will undoubtedly be just as effective and true!!!!

Good Luck to you both!!!

[pumpkins1970]

Hello, and yes I do agree with you NO CONDOM NO PLAY, it is just a safe way to go. We were contacted by this couple on sls, who didn't bother to read our profile, and we do state that in there, no glove no love, but of course when he tells us that in his so called group, they dont use condoms. That is ok I guess for some, but he started to tell us that we are more of a threat then anyone in his group is, Im like give me a break, you dont know what everyone in your group is doing, your right people lie! He started to get an attitude with us after we told him we have a condom rule, if you dont like it make sure you read our profile plain and simple.

If I were you, I would stick to my guns with this one you can never be too safe blood test or not, it sometimes takes HIV/hep six months to show its ugly face, I wonder if your husband knows that??

There are plenty of fish in the sea, and it may take a little while to find the right couple, but usually they are worth the wait

Playing games with your health is never a good idea, once you have something what can anyone say then "I'm sorry" well that doen't solve the problem, and maybe that one time you didn't use condoms might have saved your life.

Well we wish you the best of luck

[BodyScape02]

Bare-backing is just plain STOOOPID!!!!!

[PreciouzPuzzy]

Condoms are always a very good idea...This is a guy saying this. My wife and I go without, but when playing it's always safety first.

Thank, thank you. I know I am right. In fact I tell my husband I am 99 percent right. It is true. LOL. I am serious. I know everyone has opinions and their own deals. I feel I have been very lucky to have skirted life without any serious consequences. Luck does finally run out.

I shall stick to my guns. LOL.

[intravox]

Condoms... definitely.

[jennandjamesinm]

Hammer -

I'm glad to hear that you are sticking to your guns!!! Blood work, schmud work - has hubby been in a hole the past few years? The incubation rate for some STD's is a very long time and those folks might be with others, just like y'all, and being exclusive sounds too poly for my tastes. Me thinks that he is being WAY too trusting - there are freaks and liars out there, and your life isn't worth it. Not only that, since there hasn't been an actual meet yet - he might look at the couple and they might have fuzzy teeth or look like an ex girlfriend. It is possible that getting back in the "swing" of things (yes, pun intended) and the ensuing excitement is just causing a brain fart in this case Good Luck to you and let us know how it goes.

Jenn

[jcbicouple]

We play without condoms, but always respect the decision the other person/couple has made. I (female) have an allergic reaction to most of the condoms so we simply let them know about the allergy and tell them we will provide the condoms to make sure the ones used wont cause a problem.
Now, as for the rules part:
We think that condoms are the LEAST of your problems. Frankly, If your husband can't stick to the rules in the situation you're describing above, and he told them "Sure, No problem" after agreeing that it would be one of your rules, and we're guessing he knew you'd be upset by this, you shouldn't be swinging at all!

[BorisNatasha]

Am I correct in understanding he is willing to risk your health for his pleasure?

Maybe if you put it to him that way it will get him to rethink his position.

In any exchange of bodily fluids the female is always at a higher risk. You are smart to protect yourself from your husband's ignorance in this situation. I'm right with jcbicouple on this one - sounds like you and hubby have bigger problems to work out than just figuring out what to do with this one couple.

Please don't take this as a flame, I'm on your side but what your husband is doing upsets me a little.

Boris

[Dolphins524]

I'd be all for changing our rules @ some point, but for right now, I'd have to say condoms are going to be a must. She means way to much to me, as well as our children, to risk that, & I'd hope she feels the same way about me.

[MuttinJeff]

Smart woman. Stick to your guns. More than likely the other woman is allergic to latex, or possibly the chemical n-9. Avanti produces latex free condoms that are approved by the fda. Avoid sheepskin, as is incredibly porous.


Sidenote....if the man is thick enough, the Avanti will produce a strange, but oh so wonderful "warming sensation".


Condoms are a personal decision. But in this day and age with all the choices out there, allergies and discomfort fall into the blue-balls category of those highschool backseat experiences.

[tncinmd]

Hate to say this, but even if he agrees to your terms, I think that in a "heat of the moment" situation, they'd go out the window for him. Your main issue here is one of trust. If he can't be trusted, you shouldn't swing.