Responsibility in revealing potential STD exposure

[a_pdx_couple]

We're faced with a dillema. We have several friends who play, we're all part of a Yahoo group. We're recently-involved with the group, and have become friends with 2 very new couples (Couples A and B). Both these couples have played once with a more "veteran" couple (Couple C) within the group, first Couple A and then Couple B, and have had no contact with others whatsoever. The problem: Couple A found that they have contracted genital warts, discovered 6 months after their experience with Couple C. Remember, Couple A have not played with anyone before or since that experience, they're very new to the lifestyle.

They contacted Couple C and told them what happened. Because of their personal history, Couple A is pretty sure that they were infected by Couple C, but cannot guarantee it. However they simply shared with Couple C that an exposure occurred between them, and that Couple C should probably get checked out by a doctor just in case.

I spoke with Couple B on a hunch (Couple A and I discussed this before I did it), since their experience with Couple C followed Couple A's experience. At the very least, Couple A had also been exposed, based on timeline, if the source of infection was Couple A (benefit of the doubt). Sure enough, Couple C never said a word to them about a possible exposure. The male half of Couple A talked with Couple C several times afterwards just to give them opportunity to disclose the exposure, still nothing. Since then Couple B have been to the doctor, and are taking whatever preventative and responsive measures are being offered.

What is Couple C's responsibility to this matter, with regard to notifying people that an exposure occurred? I realize that HPV is terribly terribly common, being simply a strain of warts with possible health consequences if it is not realized. However what is the responsibility of a couple who KNOWS that even if they're not the source of infection, they have become a risk? What is considered acceptable in the Lifestyle?

Couple A is no longer playing, Couple B is waiting for a clean bill of health, but intend to warn others if they elect to play again.

[N&G]

Couple A may have contracted the virus years ago and the outbreak probably has nothing to do with Couple C. Since the virus is very common and only a small percentage of people ever have any warts it should be expected that anyone active in the lifestyle probably comes in contact with it on a regular basis. Unless Couple C has actually had an outbreak I see no reason to make a public announcement and even if they did I expect that a lot of people will not mention it. There is always a risk of STD's in this lifestyle. Anyone unwilling to accept that risk should find another hobby. As far as Couple B is concerned they will probably find out that when they start "warning" people most of them will not want to play and they will soon stop mentioning it.

[Atilla]

I would also like to note that my hubby had a genital wart and at the time we weren't in this lifestyle. You can pick up the virus from using public washrooms and from people not handwashing after using them. You touch the door knob to leave, virus is on your hands, next time you go to the washroom, virus is on your genitals, KWIM????

They may not have contacted it through sexual contact but they should be notifying everyone that they have had sexual contact with that this has happened. to them for not doing so

[ncdragonpair]

I would definately go through the list of people whom they had any sort of physical sexual contact with, just in case. That would be protected or not. Even with condoms you can't guarantee protection from HPV, since there's always the chance of the virus on the exposed areas. The point mentioned about public restrooms is especially valid and scary. They really should tell everyone whose bathroom facilities were utilized as well, but that's not even realistic. You know what I mean? To be 100% kosher, one would have to go knocking on doors, telling businesses, family members, friends, employees, and employers: "Yeah...you might want to keep a bottle of NABC handy." I make sure I clean the toilet at work with the stuff whenever possible, though for customers (I worked third shift at a convienant store while I finish college) I can only usually manage it once or twice over a 10 hour period. I make sure to clean the toilet at work after I use it, but at home, it's up for grabs. My future mother in law hasn't contracted anything from living years with my gal whom I have been exposed to intimately quite frequently over the past 5 years, and none of our friends or family have, so we've been lucky. No one has gotten hsv or hpv off anything we ate from, drank from, etc. But again, unless we live alone all our life and never have anyone over to our house, the risk is there without even taking their clothes off, kissing them, or licking any tasty regions.

rAy