If your profile doesn't say D/D Free does that mean you aren't?

[sherandmik]

Hi we are new and have learned a lot from this website Thanks everyone! We have been on a few websites for a month or so...and I have a question. I hope you can help clear this up for us.

When we are looking at profiles we have noticed that some people have D/D free. We do know now that this means. My question is for those of the profiles out there that don't have it is it assumed that the couple has an STD....A don't ask don't tell kinda thing. Beacuse we have met several couples and they don't do drugs well except one that smokes but the only thing that comes up is always safe sex. We have herpes...we take Valtrex and have not had a break out in a long time. But no one has ever asked. We have only played once and we were very safe. But we don't want to take any chances we want to be honest but it seems if 1 in 4 people have it how come no one in this lifestyle is fessing up?

My question is ...Is it assumed if you don't have D/D on your profile is this a good indicatar that you have an STD? Is this a secret code?

Thanks

[VegasLee]

We have been in the lifestyle many years and NO, that is not a secret code. We have never put D/D free on our profile yet we have nothing.

There is many people as you have stated that have something. Many of them are very honest and put it right on their profile. That way they do tend to attract others that also have something.

Never assume anything in the lifestyle. I am also willing to be there is some that state D/D free and they are not. Either because they do not know or they are not honest.

[SluttyWife]

I agree with Vegas Lee. Nothing should ever be assumed, but *do* note that some people are outright honest and others aren't. I don't think there is much you can do to protect yourself other than taking the time getting to know your potential bedmates a little better.

;-*

Slutty Wife

[sherandmik]

Thanks for the responces....We are honest I hope you guys don't have the wrong idea about us. we are just trying to figure this thing out. We don't even know if we should swing...but it just seems like since 1 in 4 have it surely there are couples out there that have it. We do not want to give it to other people.

[BradAndJanet]

We don't have D/D free on our profile either and we don't have anything...never did either. Herpes doesn't scare me much, especially if you haven't any active sites.

I will make a general statement however, that someone that puts 'D/D free' in their profile might be a little more sensitive to your condition than those who do not, but I'm sure there are exceptions to that as well.

-B

[ncdragonpair]

I will throw my pennies in here, though I am still not an official swinger yet. My gal and I are listed on some yahoo groups and swinglifestyle.com, as well as other sites specifically for those with Herpes and HPV. At first we didn't mention it on the non-h areas because we didn't even know if we were into the act of swinging, and still are wondering since we're still virgins in that respect. We wanted someone getting to know us to be unbiased, so we at first didn't mention it. Once I began joining h groups on yahoo I slowly found far more people with handles I saw on the sites in question who rarely mentioned anything. They didn't put d/d free when they were infected, but I'm sure you can find many people (especially those who ride bareback) who are silent carriers who don't know or deny they have it internally and may put d/d free. I wouldn't put much faith in it as any sort of code, descriptor of reality, or anything but a guess. Just about every couple I've seen post on the swinger groups and some of the sites mention riding bare "with the right couple or person" or have done so in their past, so it's really a toss of the dice no matter what you think you know about someone's status for disease and/or their carefulness in prevention. :/

I honestly believe that a larger portion of the "freak" population, which I proudly claim to be part of, if even not yet a swinger, reports far less of the diseases they carry. I tend to believe this due to the profiles people have, often one for h sites/groups, and others for everyone else, the posts I've seen over the 5 years I've been looking into the lifestyle, etc. I would like to believe everyone is pretty much clean, but I can't. People like being wreckless at times, or find themselves there in youth, so there is no escaping the results. If you look at all the people in the yahoo groups for herpes alone, then look at some sites you'll see how few people report their status. It's very umcomfortable being honest, because you are the outsider. In a club, even amongst freaks talking to you and having fun on the dancefloor, you are an outsider. In public, you are an outsider because society doesn't deal with the issue. The major news agencies lose touch of the stories quickly and no one remembers the silent foe of herpes. Look at how quickly the recent Stevie Wonder and Michael Vick stories died. If you know both of them and can give specifics, I'd be surprised. Everyone knows someone who has herpes, but it's not something you talk about often.

Our road is an especially difficult one, even in the hsv/hpv swinger groups. We're overweight, have diseases, and are younger/new to the community, so naturally less attractive to anyone who is even in the same boat. As I always say to my gal, if anyone is worth our time and effort, we will find them. It is just agony in the meanwhile.

rAy

[JustAskJulie]

It is definately NOT an assumption that should be made. If you have an STD you need to be upfront and honest with people, if not in your profile then privately before you meet them and give them the chance to decide if that is a chance they wish to take prior to taking it.

[ncdragonpair]

Agreed. I just get tired of hearing some people go on about taking risks, and even moreso about hiding their status. I can respect people's right to privacy on general swinger sites, and their ability to have more than one profile or choose what to tell people. Freedom is freedom. I just don't agree with the mentality, since it keeps disease in the closet for the rest of society. The NEED for secrecy as a habit is what bothers me so greatly. We run away from condoms and talk about disease. The longer we as a nation fight the lifesaving power of the condom through inaffective programs, training, morals, and dogma, the longer we will see it grow. Africa, South America, and Asia are dying like animals, all of our nations are seeing bright and talented futures crumbled in the shadows, but ignorance continues. Anyone even listening to Rome anymore as far as their condom creed needs to have their head checked. Slowly people wise up, but how many will die or live lonely lives? It's enough to get anyone riled up.

rAy