DD FREE How do you know?

[Southern Lady]

I know I am DD free and I look that way, but how do you know and can trust that others are? Do you ask for the latest blood work results or better yet for them to pee in a cup?

[JustAskJulie]

When it comes down to it, how do you KNOW that you are DD free? And for that matter how does someone look like they are not?

Many STD's show no outward symptoms, and more often than not people have STD's without knowing it, most can not be tested for without outward symptoms - so where does that leave us? And you?

[JennyMac]

Bottom line... you don't.

You can always ask someone to go and get tested, as far as I know, most don't mind, but they could go out the night before they are supposed to meet you and pick up something after they take the test. And, of course, HIV sometimes doesn't show up for years.

There is no way you can possibly know that they are completely clean. That's why it's important to be as protected as possible for you and your s/o, unless they are someone that you have known for a very long time.

I am sure others here will agree..

Jenn

[tweedle]

Great question and superb feedback !!!

I belong to a nudist resort that has a higher than average swinger density (like, duh)...

There was a major crackdown on parties after it became known that one of the female participants in a group thing KNEW she was HIV positive before sharing herself...

Suddenly trust no longer existed (and management feared the worst - henceforth making openly discouraging statements about flagrant partying ~ not just for liability reasons)...

The math is scarey. If, in fact, it's like you're having interactions with potentially all the individuals THAT individual has exchanged intimacies with ~ then the odds are very badly stacked against staying D&D free !!!

I've even heard arguments that GETTING oral servicing can potentially spread some lesser varmints that thrive in the warm moisture of the human mouth and throat...

What's a party to do ???

Beats me.

I didn't care for the Reagan Administration's be-all to end-all of JUST SAY NO.

Scare tactics suck (and not very nicely - plus they are hard to swallow, which only confuses the issue).

I can relate to using condoms, but since I'm an avid fan of performing cunnilingus ~ there's no barrier method THERE that saves the flavor and feel of the act !!!

It's tough !!!

Over 20 years ago I got an infection of the lesser order from a lady that didn't know she had one. Whaddayagonnado ???? (Besides getting it treated)

[Southern Lady]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

When it comes down to it, how do you KNOW that you are DD free? And for that matter how does someone look like they are not?

I know I am due to going to the Dr. every year for my pap smear and test. But your right you can't tell by the look and that's my point. The reason I asked this question is on many profiles I have read it states they are DD free and want you to be too.

No way to tell unless you ask for acopy of their medical records, and even then you still might not know. It is a risk you take. That is why you shouldnt just jump right into the sack with anyone, always think it thru first. Are you willing to take that risk?

[rduelist]

Read the section on HSV. It is important to know that just a regular checkup and pap smear does not check for all STDs. Herpes is a particular problem because it is common for people to have no symptoms. And the test for it is expensive and therefore rarely performed. Oh, and it is estimated that approximately 20% of the population at large has HSV2.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Southern Lady

I know I am due to going to the Dr. every year for my pap smear and test. But your right you can't tell by the look and that's my point. The reason I asked this question is on many profiles I have read it states they are DD free and want you to be too.

Even at that, you still don't KNOW. Unless you ask to be tested for STD's, a pap smear doesn't tell you anything, and even when you ask to be tested, they generally only test for Chlymidia and Ghonorea (I know the spelling is off on those). AIDS is a separate test altogether and again must be requested - and even if you have it you may not test positive for up to 6mo. Beyond those, MOST STD's can not be tested for unless you have symptoms. Herpes for example - some 25% of the population is infected - but many don't know it - 1. It can only best tested for if you have symptoms, 2. Many people carry it and transmit it without ever showing a symptom (no wonder so many people have it). Other STD's are the same.

I'm not trying to attack you or say that you have an STD, just pointing out the fact that no one really KNOWS if they themselves are really STD free, so how can ever expect to KNOW if someone else.

[tweedle]

But Julie....

I'm not trying to rain on anybody's parade, but that makes it sound as if we're using extremely poor judgement if we ever open our relationships to other parties (double entendre not withstanding).

Is it an issue of DRIVES versus REASON ?????

PS ~ Just your stats on Herpes scared the Bejesus outta me !!! What a potentially sore subject !!! A LTR in the mid-1980's (between my 3 marriages) was one in which the EXTREMELY cute lady had Herps. I wouldn't approach her when she had any evidence of an outbreak (at least not genitally other than to "diddle" her). Somehow, I/we got through 2 and 1/2 years of cohabitation without me getting the buggers. It can be done. Even my finger stayed "clean" (much less my tongue and other protruding parts). Of course, they say "viruses" can be transmitted via computer, so I wouldn't go around licking my monitor screen !!!

[intuition897]

My family doctor knows about my and my husband's 'hobby' and if we're actively swinging, we're tested regularly (at least every 6 months). For various vanilla-life reasons, we haven't been active since about August of last year (which would probably explain why I'm on the board so much ) so there's been no need. It's not a problem for us financially to be tested as often as we like because of our health care system.

Canada's taxes really suck the big one, but at least the government puts some of it back into resources for the people. We have what used to be called OHIP, which is provincially funded health insurance for any necessary care. We pay for prescriptions, glasses, dental, and now eye exams (which used to be included), plus a few other 'alternative' therapies like chiropractic or acupuncture which are only partially covered. I have no idea what a typical Dr.'s appointment costs because I've never had to pay for a procedure before. If a doctor deems it necessary, the government pays for it.

Out of curiosity, how much does a typical Dr.'s visit cost? And STD testing?

[tweedle]

I've heard that Planned Parenthood and "clinics" can potentially provide low or no cost testing. There ought to be STD "resource" numbers in the phone book.

My own "doc" knows about the nudist thingy. He would have figured it out since I haven't had a tan line in 20 years. Consequently (with zero affirmation of any "swinging"), he orders blood panels periodically, and I've noted that the "HIV" box is usually checked.

He also wears a glove. Come to think of it, he wears TWO !!!


Regarding medical costs, it varies with the wind. My own doc succombed to HMO control (kind of sold his soul). That's American for T-F-U (as in Totally F'd Up system). They (the HMO's) tend to work in tandem with the pharmaceutical companies in prescribing band-aid chemical fixes for symptoms ~ versus testing for causes. It's a very sore subject !!!

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by tweedle

I've heard that Planned Parenthood and "clinics" can potentially provide low or no cost testing. There ought to be STD "resource" numbers in the phone book.

My own "doc" knows about the nudist thingy. He would have figured it out since I haven't had a tan line in 20 years. Consequently (with zero affirmation of any "swinging"), he orders blood panels periodically, and I've noted that the "HIV" box is usually checked.

He also wears a glove. Come to think of it, he wears TWO !!!


Regarding medical costs, it varies with the wind. My own doc succombed to HMO control (kind of sold his soul). That's American for T-F-U (as in Totally F'd Up system). They (the HMO's) tend to work in tandem with the pharmaceutical companies in prescribing band-aid chemical fixes for symptoms ~ versus testing for causes. It's a very sore subject !!!

I'm not entirely sure how the system works here, but the doctor bills the province directly. I think doctors here have a certain fee guide that they can bill up to per procedure, a limit on the number of patients they can have (which explains why so many people end up at emerg because they don't have a family doctor), and a ceiling on their income. They're only allowed to earn a scant $300-500,000 per year or some piddly figure like that (note the sarcasm). Well I shouldn't say anything about that. I'd considered going to med school myself

[tweedle]

Thanks to my increasing age, my "figures" aren't all that good (LOL)...

The last time I checked, my poor DOC got about $17.00 per month per patient from the HMO - regardless of number of patient visits. Extras are billable for extra procedures.

The HMO also strikes mass contracts on Labs. They were getting less than 25 cents per patient per month when I last spoke with a negotiator about 8 years ago. Again, regardless of number of patient procedures !!!

The American system (or lack thereof) is a travesty of greed and administrative costs.

Additionally, private practitioners are run out of business (like my previous GP) by the Insurance industry. In the 1980's, they had my old guy paying almost $100,000 per year - and HE had NO claims against him !!!

It's a scam. It's a sham. Heads should roll.

I don't like it one eyeoda (does it show ?) !!!

My daughter is not even a teenager, yet (youngest). I have a separate policy just on her, with Kaiser. I pay $133 per month, and then have a $25 co-pay per visit AND $200 per day if she's hospitalized (plus other attrocities).

Gee, I must need a good orgasm, 'cause I'm letting my inner feelings show .