what do we do???

06-04-2001, 04:55 PM

My wife and I get tested every 6 months. We feel it is VERY important. We also ALWAYS use condoms when having sex, but we never use a dental wrap or condoms when performing oral. We didn't feel a need to get that carried away as we have both been fixed. My wife and I went for our 6 month check up and found out I am Hiv +. She isn't. What do we do? We have swung with alot of people over the last 6 months. Some of them we met at parties and don't know how to locate them. Should I tell everyone I have been with? Why should I tell them when someone oviously didn't bother to tell me. I am scared and very angry. What do I do??

twobookwyrms · 06-04-2001, 06:03 PM

I am very sorry to hear you are going through this. I definitely think if you haven't already started you could benefit from some counseling since this is a very life changing thing.

Yes you should tell everyone you have been with that you can. I know how betrayed you must feel but realize that you feel this way so other would feel the same way if you don't tell them. I hope your wife is being supportive. My thoughts are with you.

Steph

newtothisintexas · 06-04-2001, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by scared:
What do we do? Should I tell everyone I have been with? Why should I tell them when someone oviously didn't bother to tell me. I am scared and very angry. What do I do??

You must do the right thing and advise all of your partners that you possibly can. In the end, you will do what your conscience will let you live with, but please do the right thing.

Thinking of you.

-new

***JustAskJulie*** · 06-04-2001, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by scared:
Should I tell everyone I have been with? Why should I tell them when someone oviously didn't bother to tell me. I am scared and very angry. What do I do??

You should definately tell everyone that you can (that you've been with). It's possible that the person who passed it to you didn't even know they were carrying it. Not everyone takes the time to get tested on a regular basis.

You may not be able to track down everyone, but you should do your best to at least let the ones you can know so that they can get tested before possibly passing it on to others.

I would aggree that if you haven't already you should probably seek some counceling for both you and your wife. This is something that will affect you both for the rest of your lives.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

CanadianCouple · 06-04-2001, 09:15 PM

Scared --

Get re-tested. False positives can and do occur. I'm no expert, but it's my understanding trasmission via oral sex is rare.

If indeed you are infected, seek professional help.

I'm truly sorry to read of this. Our prayers go out to you both.

Dan and Janette

06-06-2001, 08:06 PM

scared,

Sorry about the "bad news"!

Like CanadianCouple said, "Get re-tested. False positives can and do occur."

Best wishes & good luck to both of you!

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 06-06-2001).]

INCpl · 04-17-2002, 03:22 PM

I agree with canadiancouple...get retested... When I was pregnant with our son, I had a mandotory HIV test. Actually I had to have a few , they were coming back inconclusive and one came back positive. At the time neither me or my husband had been with anyone else. And we both had been tested about a year prior... I have had a few since then and they all are negative.

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06-04-2001, 04:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
scared Posts: n/a	what do we do??? My wife and I get tested every 6 months. We feel it is VERY important. We also ALWAYS use condoms when having sex, but we never use a dental wrap or condoms when performing oral. We didn't feel a need to get that carried away as we have both been fixed. My wife and I went for our 6 month check up and found out I am Hiv +. She isn't. What do we do? We have swung with alot of people over the last 6 months. Some of them we met at parties and don't know how to locate them. Should I tell everyone I have been with? Why should I tell them when someone oviously didn't bother to tell me. I am scared and very angry. What do I do??

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06-04-2001, 06:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
twobookwyrms Active Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 26 Location: Columbus, oh	I am very sorry to hear you are going through this. I definitely think if you haven't already started you could benefit from some counseling since this is a very life changing thing. Yes you should tell everyone you have been with that you can. I know how betrayed you must feel but realize that you feel this way so other would feel the same way if you don't tell them. I hope your wife is being supportive. My thoughts are with you. Steph

06-04-2001, 09:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	Scared -- Get re-tested. False positives can and do occur. I'm no expert, but it's my understanding trasmission via oral sex is rare. If indeed you are infected, seek professional help. I'm truly sorry to read of this. Our prayers go out to you both. Dan and Janette

06-06-2001, 08:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	scared, Sorry about the "bad news"! Like CanadianCouple said, "Get re-tested. False positives can and do occur." Best wishes & good luck to both of you! [This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 06-06-2001).]

04-17-2002, 03:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
INCpl Registered Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6 Location: Southern IN	I agree with canadiancouple...get retested... When I was pregnant with our son, I had a mandotory HIV test. Actually I had to have a few , they were coming back inconclusive and one came back positive. At the time neither me or my husband had been with anyone else. And we both had been tested about a year prior... I have had a few since then and they all are negative.