Surgically safe, making the decision

[ALilOEverything]

Now I hate to be the kind of person who is overly paranoid but I'm starting to feel I really want to get my tubes tied. My husband had his vasectomy a year ago so there is no reason except for this lifestyle. We always use condoms but they aren't a 100% effective and I feel a pregnancy could be devastating. My cycles are irregular and sometimes I can be two or more weeks late. I don't want it in the back of my mind that I had sex with someone shooting live ones, even if we used a condom. We had a recent experience of the condom breaking, not with me but with my husband and her and that got me thinking since I'm totally done with babies there is nothing wrong with extra protection since that could happen with me. I've actually had condoms break 3 times in the past many years ago. I don't want hormones, they decrease my sex drive and I became pregnant on both the depo shot (I lost that one) and later on the pill.

So anyhow, there are questions I have which need to figure out. I feel really uncomfortable bringing this up to my doctor. He knows my husband has had a vasectomy and to mention about the lifestyle would make it hard for me to work with him on a regular basis. Also, I'm going to find out for sure but would my insurance company pay for it even though they already paid for him? Also, what is the down time for this kind of procedure? We don't do these procedures in my area of the hospital. I'm also going to have to make up an excuse to take time off work, everyone knows my husband had a vasectomy since it was a total catastrophe and had to go back in for more surgery to repair it.

Does anyone else have the concern about pregnancy? I hear so much about std's which does concern me but this is equally on my mind. Am I the only one who worries the day her period is late even though condoms were used?

Thanks for any thoughts

[EvilMJ]

It's ironic that you brought this up as Hubby and I were just talking about it. He is scheduled to see a specialist to get a vasectomy because we don't want to have any more kids. We decided this before we decided to start swinging.

Now that we have become active in the lifestyle it is of big concern to me. I really don't want to get my tubes tied, however I can't go on the pill becuase it totally messes me, my sister has the same problem, we turn into emotional basket cases!! I don't trust condoms...it is really a difficult problem. I don't have anything to offer but sympathy and understanding as I am in the same boat!!

[SexhoundDog]

Alilo,
I can't tell from your post, but it sounds like you work in a hospital type setting? I don't know if that has any relation at all with your group insurance plan or if anyone in your human resources dept could ever find out about any claims you turned into your insuror, but you could always read your group policy manual about what they'd cover. They may or may not cover tied tubes unless it's "medically necessary", but if you still aren't sure after reading it, call the insurance company.
I know women probably develop more of a bond with their gynee than men do with their doctors, once you find the right one you like. But in your case, maybe you'd want to go out of town. Got any good friends that live in other towns who'd recommend their doc?
As far as an excuse to take time off, it's nobody's business. The simplest one is probably "I just have a lot of stuff to do at home, relatives are coming in, etc etc".
And as a younger swinger, I don't think you're being paranoid at all about getting pregnant, I think you're being extra smart and cautious. I shoot blanks just like your hubby these days, but if my wife decides she'd like another man inside her even tho she's close to menopausal age, you can bet he's either wearing a rubber which will still leave either of us nervous, or he's got to tell us he became a steer also. Good post!

[good times]

We have been a little nervous about this lately also. My wifes Gyno has recomended that she get a IUD but he says she can have her tubes tied too and her insurance would cover either. I am leaning heavily towards her getting her tubes tied as I've heard mixed reviews on the IUD's. Her Gyno has never said anything about me being fixed (he does know, or should, it's in her file). In fact I recently went in with her for her appointment with the gyno as she wanted me to hear the options and ask any questions I might have. I expected him to bring up the vasectomy, but he never said a word.

[ALilOEverything]

I had the IUD In the past but I had to be very reassuring that I was in a monogamous relationship since it can exacerbate a sexually transmitted infection. It's a T shape inside the uterus between the fallopian tubes and has a little string that hangs a small amount past the cervix so the woman can reach in to check for placement making sure it's not dislodged. With that string there it's a direct line into the sterile environment of the uterus so an infection can travel inside easier. That's why they only give it to low risk women in monogamous relationships. I don't know if that's changed since I had mine.

I see the dr. next week and I appreciate the feedback. It looks like I'm going to have to call my insurance company and ask them upfront. I did find out that friends of ours both were sterilized and the insurance company paid for both.

[mrs good times]

I was leaning towards the IUD only because I have already been under the knife twice this year and am not thrilled about doing it again. The other thought though is that I've already met all of my deductibles this year

[ALilOEverything]

I hear you there mrs. goodtimes. The idea of going under the knife really doesn't appeal to me. I've had major abdominal surgery and wonder if it can even be done laproscopically with all the adhesions I must have, it's not a pretty scar. The IUD was totally awesome when I had it and I would do it again if it was right for me. In fact we came close to my getting it last year. If my doctor recommended the IUD for me I would do it in a heartbeat. Do you know if it carries the same risk factors as it did in the past? A PID after a broken condom worries me. I do know when I had one it was much safer than when it first came out. I had mine inserted 11 years ago and removed when I seperated from my first husband. If I can't have a laproscopic tubal ligation then I will definitely be checking into it. I refuse to ever take hormones again, the just mess with my mind and body too much.

[HotCoupleGnS]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

I had the IUD In the past but I had to be very reassuring that I was in a monogamous relationship since it can exacerbate a sexually transmitted infection. It's a T shape inside the uterus between the fallopian tubes and has a little string that hangs a small amount past the cervix so the woman can reach in to check for placement making sure it's not dislodged. With that string there it's a direct line into the sterile environment of the uterus so an infection can travel inside easier. That's why they only give it to low risk women in monogamous relationships. I don't know if that's changed since I had mine.

I see the dr. next week and I appreciate the feedback. It looks like I'm going to have to call my insurance company and ask them upfront. I did find out that friends of ours both were sterilized and the insurance company paid for both.

As far as I know, this is still true. I was just going to get one about 6 or 7 months ago & my doc told me the same thing. The nures's husband worked with my hubby & told him that he hated it. that he could feel it when they were having sex. The girl told me she hated it too. I also had someone else tell me that hers became dislodged & caused some pretty major damage. Thats why I did not get one.

I have seen the commercials, but haven't asked about it yet. But, ortho came out with a low hormaone pill. So that might be something you might want to check out.

[ALilOEverything]

My husband at the time couldn't feel it thank goodness I never had problems with mine. It did make my cramps a little worse but it wasn't anything a little tylenol wouldn't take care of. I was totally myself without the mood swings as mine didn't have the hormones that went along with it. I had the Copper 7 (or something like that). It was good for 7 years. It was a little uncomfortable going in and when I was done the doctor just popped it out in a matter of seconds without any pain associated with it. I do think it's something that should be researched before considering though.

The last time I was on the pill was 4 years ago on the lowest dose and I still became pregnant on it. I vomited 6-7 hours after my first pill on each pack. If these are lower dose than the Alese (that was the lowest at the time) I would I would fear it not being affective against pregnancy with my history. I was stunned getting pregnant on the Depo Provera injection. I would only consider it as a last resort. The nice thing was having regular periods though, I sure miss those days!

[HotCoupleGnS]

I got preganant with both my kids when I was on the pill, so I know the feeling!

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by HotCoupleGnS

I got preganant with both my kids when I was on the pill, so I know the feeling!

OMG So what do you do now if I may ask?

[HotCoupleGnS]

Well I stopped taking the pill. But we also stopped playing for now too. But when we did play we used condoms. I think I am gonna try the patch, I also have heard soemhting about a new shot.

[talltxlady]

I checked into getting my tubes tied last year since I definitely don't want more kids and my OB-GYN talked me out of it very quickly. It turns out that when they do it laproscopically, the first incision is almost guess work. It can end up cutting something it shouldn't and you would end up with abdominal surgery. This was even more of a concern since I'm heavier than I should be. Hubby and I just use condoms as I had the most obvious of problems with the pill, remembering to take them each day. ;-)

just a little thought to add
talltxlady

[DBL D]

Julie taught me that you can IM each other...

M. D.

[DBL D]

BTW, I'd love to tell you my story...but I'd have to IM you guys.

(Or kill you!) Your choice.

M.D.