Is there really such a thing as safe sex?

[talltxlady]

I started having cold sores after meeting my ex-husband (14 years ago). I've been very careful with current hubby (married 5 years, together for almost 7) and he never gets them.

Also, I had a colpo done last year after an abnormal pap and the doctor didn't say anything about HPV. I have a followup appointment in about a week and a half, should I ask her about HPV then and find out if I've been tested, or should be tested?

Given both of these "situations", and depending on what the doctor says after my next visit, what do I need to tell people I'm interested in swinging with? Hubby and I are just getting interested in the lifestyle but I really never thought about cold sores and abnormal paps as being something that is discussed in relation to STDs. (I have learned to tell when a cold sore is starting and I'm very careful during that time to not kiss anyone, drink after them, wash my hands extra, etc.)

Any advice at this point would be greatly appreciated. We're still learning what to ask, what to say, what to look for.

talltxlady (hubby is hytril)

[Atilla]

Personally, IMO, the only safe sex is abstinence. A condom can still break right? I know it doesn't happen too often but it does still happen. And since abstinence is boring, we'll just have to take our chances I guess.

Sex toys, dirty fingers, saliva, or anything that has bodily fluids on it are all methods of transmission for STD's. So unless you want to touch someone and then touch someone else but breaking to go wash your hands or penis in between that touching, you're at risk.

[fun_pairTX]

Just sit on you ass and keep your mouth shut. Not very appealing though is it? There is no way to eliminate risk. It is possible to minimize risk to different degrees. Intercourse protection and guidelines have to be discussed with yourselves and your partners. Oral is also up to debate, but I know that Mrs and I would pass if the condom/oral dam thing was required.

[TnJ2Play]

Originally Posted by talltxlady

what do I need to tell people I'm interested in swinging with? Hubby and I are just getting interested in the lifestyle but I really never thought about cold sores and abnormal paps as being something that is discussed in relation to STDs. (I have learned to tell when a cold sore is starting and I'm very careful during that time to not kiss anyone, drink after them, wash my hands extra, etc.)

If you are being 100% honest you tell them that you have herpes. It is *probably* type one on your mouth but not necessarily. Either type can be either place. You can transmit 'cold sores' to the mouth or genitals whether or not you are having an outbreak.