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Questioning swinger's STD awareness/protection level

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We are a new couple to this stuff, while we are not full swap our even soft swap we do enjoy each other and like being watched/watching type deal. It is a fun environment to enjoy. No, we aren't the typical lurkers at clubs who only watch, but we are typically the first playing and being watched by many. That's kind of the charge for us.

 

So, we are at a resort/club this weekend. The crowd was mixed with what seemed to be other folks like us, and then full swingers. All get along and no stress.

 

We were kind of amazed at the, I guess for lack of better term, caring about STD's. Seems there were three couples that started playing, they swapped oral and then bareback sex. It appeared that they didn't know each other, or just met that night. The wife overheard the guy asking one of the women if she would like oral, she agreed and they went at it. There were several situations like I mentioned going on.

 

Now, to us this seems pretty risky. I mean who knows what the other couples may have, had, or carry and to just dive right in kind of amazed us.

 

Are we just wound too tight with this STD/Herpes thing, or are most swingers just fine with getting HPV/Herpes or other STD's and assume it is just part of the game? The risk of this is what keeps us at our level of play, and from trying more.

 

Simply trying to better understand this, not trying to scold or anything.

 

Thanks

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First, I'm baffled by your claim that you're "new" to the swinger lifestyle, when your profile says you joined (at least this website) in 2004.

 

The bottom line is this: YOU decide what you want to do. If, as you say, you get your kicks from watching/being watched, than you don't have to worry about STD's. And after 8 years in this lifestyle without any "full or soft" play, I doubt you will ever have anything to worry about.

 

But assuming your question is academic rather than to critique, different people weigh the risk/benefit equation differently. I'm an old lady, and I've been doing the swinger/gangbang thing literally since my teen years. I can tell you that the whole condom thing started around the early 90s when the alarmists convinced the heterosexual community to be part of the AIDS scare. Before that, nobody used condoms, and in fact, they were regarded as a dinosaur and a joke. Before 20 years ago condoms were considered the teenagers form of birth control, and that's it. Yet there was still hepatitis, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HPV, not to mention a variety of potentially deadly vaginosis and urinary infections. The condom craze, complete with its self-appointed moralists who jump at any opportunity to criticize "faulty" behavior in others, started with AIDS ... the least likely STD to catch.

 

So the couples you noticed weighed the risk/benefit equation for themselves, just like race car drivers, rock climbers, white water rafters, and people who vacation in Mexico do.

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Hey guys. This is probably the hottest topic you can find on the board. There are two other threads active right now and there clearly seems to be a hard division between the two thought processes.

 

On the one side, you have those that pretty much think that if you are in the lifestyle then it's inevitable and you should just accept that fact that you are going to get one or more at some point.

 

Then there are those that seem to think that if your not the ones at the club/house party going at it bareback every weekend with someone different every time and you keep your partners somewhat limited to a close group of friends that you mitigate your risk considerably.

 

Honestly, the only way to keep from getting something is abstinence. You just have to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with and make the best decisions you can make but at the end of the day, accept that every time you play, you take a chance.

 

I'm in the latter group and believe that many risks can be lessened through common sense and caution but don't believe for a second that I'm safe. I believe that swingers are generally more educated about STD's but being active on this board, I have learned that there are people out there playing with STD's that don't care.

 

All we can do is make careful decisions with who we play with and have no regrets come what may.

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First, I'm baffled by your claim that you're "new" to the swinger lifestyle, when your profile says you joined (at least this website) in 2004.

 

The bottom line is this: YOU decide what you want to do. If, as you say, you get your kicks from watching/being watched, than you don't have to worry about STD's. And after 8 years in this lifestyle without any "full or soft" play, I doubt you will ever have anything to worry about.

 

But assuming your question is academic rather than to critique, different people weigh the risk/benefit equation differently. I'm an old lady, and I've been doing the swinger/gangbang thing literally since my teen years. I can tell you that the whole condom thing started around the early 90s when the alarmists convinced the heterosexual community to be part of the AIDS scare. Before that, nobody used condoms, and in fact, they were regarded as a dinosaur and a joke. Before 20 years ago condoms were considered the teenagers form of birth control, and that's it. Yet there was still hepatitis, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HPV, not to mention a variety of potentially deadly vaginosis and urinary infections. The condom craze, complete with its self-appointed moralists who jump at any opportunity to criticize "faulty" behavior in others, started with AIDS ... the least likely STD to catch.

 

So the couples you noticed weighed the risk/benefit equation for themselves, just like race car drivers, rock climbers, white water rafters, and people who vacation in Mexico do.

 

Galanga, many people join the website that are interested only and come back years later deciding they are ready to play. They asked a genuine question. You gave them a speech I'd expect from an activist group. You would think they were clubbing baby seals.

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Thanks for your replies.

 

Galanga - I don't feel the need to justify our pace, level of play, or lifestyle to anyone, your comments amaze me. Since you indulged, I will do the same. We did read your post a while back about your lifestyle and the numerous bareback adult book stores adventures. I wish you the best in your choices, but your behavior, to us, is crazy.

 

This was a real question, we were just interested in the issue.

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We are a new couple to this stuff, while we are not full swap our even soft swap we do enjoy each other and like being watched/watching type deal. It is a fun environment to enjoy. No, we aren't the typical lurkers at clubs who only watch, but we are typically the first playing and being watched by many. That's kind of the charge for us.

 

So, we are at a resort/club this weekend. The crowd was mixed with what seemed to be other folks like us, and then full swingers. All get along and no stress.

 

We were kind of amazed at the, I guess for lack of better term, caring about STD's. Seems there were three couples that started playing, they swapped oral and then bareback sex. It appeared that they didn't know each other, or just met that night. The wife overheard the guy asking one of the women if she would like oral, she agreed and they went at it. There were several situations like I mentioned going on.

 

Now, to us this seems pretty risky. I mean who knows what the other couples may have, had, or carry and to just dive right in kind of amazed us.

 

Are we just wound too tight with this STD/Herpes thing, or are most swingers just fine with getting HPV/Herpes or other STD's and assume it is just part of the game? The risk of this is what keeps us at our level of play, and from trying more.

 

Simply trying to better understand this, not trying to scold or anything.

 

Thanks

 

I've seen bareback at clubs and at house parties, but the times I've seen it have been among groups that only play with one another. I don't know if that lessens their risk or not.

 

When it comes to me and my personal choices, I know the risks and know that as swingers our risk is higher as we tend to have more partners.

 

I don't throw caution to the wind and pray I don't catch anything. I'd be silly to. I am cautious, extremely cautious as are the ones I play with. I think our awareness enables us to steer clear of cooties. :) We are as safe as we can be.

 

I'd never play with anyone if I knew I had an STD. That being said, I am tested regularly and so far I am clean. I am currently out of commission for a while for non std reasons (major surgery).

 

Some people simply like to go to clubs with their spouse and be watched or watched. I see nothing wrong with couples who do that. Those are the ones I have seen going bareback the most.

 

At the clubs and parties I have attended....condoms are readily available. So there really is no excuse not to use them, unless you want to increase your risks. That isn't something I am willing to do.

 

I don't think you are wound too tight. It's your life and your body and your right to be extremely concerned or less concerned. I for one have no desire to catch and STD, like the rest of us.

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DigginIt - You're right, they asked a legitimate question, and I gave them a legitimate answer. I didn't give them a speech. In fact, you gave them the same answer I did. As for the level of involvement - Fitcouple, you're also right, you don't need to justify your pace to me or anyone else. But people ask questions relative to their experiences - that's why YOU brought up the you are "new" and "not even soft" in the first place. You brought it up because you felt it was an important preface to your question ... and I agree.

 

Finally, Fitcouple, don't use words like "crazy" to describe people who think differently than you, especially when in your first post you end by saying "not trying to scold". I know a lot of couples that swing bareback and they are far from "crazy" or "stupid". Just remember, 90% of the human race thinks someone who enjoys having sex in front of others is "crazy". I'm sure you're in the 10% that disagree with that notion. Remember, there are other 10% categories that are no less sane than yours.

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Galanga - I only indulged in the person comments as you seemed to in your first response. As others noted, I didn't need a speech from an old vet swinger. Again, I respect your limits/rules, now respect mine without the speech.

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We never used condoms in swinging and we never caught an STD. Our theory was that If we thought we needed condoms to be safe, we didn't swing with those questionable folks. That seems to be Fitcouple's strategy, and I see nothing wrong with it.

 

We chose our playcouples among long-term married folks who had little, if any, outside exposure. We never played in clubs and never fucked strangers. It worked for us.

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Hey guys. This is probably the hottest topic you can find on the board. There are two other threads active right now and there clearly seems to be a hard division between the two thought processes.

 

On the one side, you have those that pretty much think that if you are in the lifestyle then it's inevitable and you should just accept that fact that you are going to get one or more at some point.

 

Then there are those that seem to think that if your not the ones at the club/house party going at it bareback every weekend with someone different every time and you keep your partners somewhat limited to a close group of friends that you mitigate your risk considerably.

 

Honestly, the only way to keep from getting something is abstinence. You just have to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with and make the best decisions you can make but at the end of the day, accept that every time you play, you take a chance.

 

I'm in the latter group and believe that many risks can be lessened through common sense and caution but don't believe for a second that I'm safe. I believe that swingers are generally more educated about STD's but being active on this board, I have learned that there are people out there playing with STD's that don't care.

 

All we can do is make careful decisions with who we play with and have no regrets come what may.

 

Abstinence? Why not monogamy? (although as I've pointed out, it appears it could be possible to get herpes from a sore on a hand...on to your hand...so maybe even abstinence ain't safe!)

 

Originally I thought swingers would be more educated about std's too but alas...not 99% of the ones I've met and actually talked with about std's. Or even just heard about the latest 'female' test a wife had. Often if I question that a bit I find, yeah, they are following up with tests to rule out cervical cancer. And she has no clue about HPV-or I hear 'yeah, I had that at some point" and of course they have been active swingers for a few years.....:rolleyes:....and the guys...omg, no test for it, they MUST not have it, right? It's 'her' problem...he can still play! :rollseye:

 

It dawned on us we could either take our chances or try for more of a poly type relationship with just a few close friends. Or just play together and not play with others...even at parties.

 

We talked it over and made a decision based on our fears and feelings....and figure others either do the same or just don't think about it (I know some do that).....

 

All you can do is what YOU are comfortable with. And don't let anyone pressure you into doing more. Stay true to yourself. :)

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I do disagree that after so many years someone is unlikely to take the leap . That is an assumption .

 

I do know a couple that frequented a local club back when I was in my 20's. They never played with anyone except themselves. I ran into that couple at a meet and greet 12 years later. We caught up and they told me they were into the just being watched and once they reached their comfort level some 9 years later they did their first full swap and have been more active in the ls for the last three years.

 

People all move at their own pace with everything in life. I think we would be doing a great disservice to those seeking help if we assumed everyone moved at the pace we do.

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Abstinence? Why not monogamy?

 

I'm too used to talking to my kids about sex. :lol:

 

Yes, Monogamy, unless your not married in which case abstinence may still be the appropriate word ;)

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Life is risk.

 

If you never take any risks, you are safe but you miss life.

 

Some risks are required for most people. Like driving to work. Others are less required like driving to a restaurant or going for a hike. Some risks are completely optional like sky diving or hot air ballooning.

 

Swinging, sexually speaking, is like skydiving. Most skydivers never die or even get a major injury from their hobby, but every year some do. Most swingers never get an STD but every year some do.

 

What you have to weigh for yourself is the thrill/joy/happiness you find in swinging worth the risk of an STD?

 

Now like skydiving we need to check our equipment, make sure we are with (a) reputable company, and not let ourselves get into overly risky situations. Still despite the best precautions accidents happen.

 

We decided a long time ago that the STD risk in swinging was worth the risk. On the other hand neither of us is going to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

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For both herpes and HPV there is no safe sex. There is barely safer sex. Condoms do not offer the same safety for these two STD's as they do for HIV. Condoms are effective but not absolute, for preventing transmission of HIV. They are far less effective preventing transmission of herpes or HPV since the fluids of arousal transmit both, fluids on hands, manual stimulation, oral stimulation, and for herpes, mere kissing without tongue can transmit.

 

So the use of condoms is not safe sex and is barely safer sex. Since many people infected with herpes and most people infected with HPV don't know they are, safe sex is even difficult by choosing partners carefully. Sex is not required for the transmission of herpes. There is no test for HPV in males yet.

 

The reasonable assumption in full swinging, soft swinging, and even kissing is that you will be exposed. 50% or more of average non-swinging people are estimated to be infected with both. So the math is that you will run into one of them or that you are one of them.

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There is having your own preferences and desires, and there is giving bad and untrue advice to people when it comes to their health.

 

Everyone gets to have the former, but I draw the line at the latter.

 

Quote
CONCLUSIONS

Among newly sexually active women, consistent condom use by their partners appears to reduce the risk of cervical and vulvovaginal HPV infection.

 

Condom Use and the Risk of Genital Human Papillomavirus Infection in Young Women

 

Quote
Results: Circumcision was associated with reduced risk for oncogenic, nononcogenic, and overall HPV. Regular condom use was associated with reduced risk for oncogenic and overall HPV.

 

Conclusion: These findings, if confirmed by other studies, could impact public health practices and messages regarding HPV.

 

Condom Use and Other Factors Affecting Penile Human Papillom... : Sexually Transmitted Diseases

 

Quote
In conclusion, although this is a relative small study, it demonstrates that intervention with condom use for at least 3 months can promote CIN regression and HPV clearance. Our results imply that condom use should be considered as an alternative strategy in the management of women with CIN and that the need for aggressive treatments may be reduced. Condom use should also be advised in pregnant women with CIN, in whom treatment is difficult. Whether condom use might be helpful in decreasing the number of latent HPV infections in HPV-positive cytologically normal women is currently under investigation.

 

Condom use promotes regression of cervical intraepithelial neoplasia and clearance of human papillomavirus: A randomized clinical trial - Hogewoning - 2003 - International Journal of Cancer - Wiley Online Library

 

Quote
Results. The proportion of men positive for HPV ranged from 37.9% among men who reported they “always” used condoms to 53.9% among those who reported they “never” used condoms (P for trend = .008). Always using condoms (vs using them less frequently) was associated with lower odds of HPV detection (adjusted odds ratio, 0.50 [95% confidence interval, 0.30–0.83]). This association was stronger among men with 11 partner than among men with only 1 partner (P for interaction = .05).

 

Conclusions. Consistent condom use was strongly associated with lower HPV prevalence in men.

 

Consistent Condom Use Is Associated with Lower Prevalence of Human Papillomavirus Infection in Men

 

Quote
Results: One hundred ninety-one eligible participants acquired HSV-2 during follow-up. This approach detected a 3.6% increase in the odds of HSV-2 acquisition with each unprotected act (odds ratio = 1.036; 95% confidence interval: 1.021-1.052), but no increase in the odds of acquisition associated with protected acts (odds ratio = 1.008; 95% confidence interval: 0.987-1.030).

 

Conclusions: This analysis suggests that condoms offer significant protection against HSV-2 transmission.

 

Case-Crossover Analysis of Condom Use and Herpes Simplex Vir... : Sexually Transmitted Diseases

 

I could go on and on if people insist. With constant condom use, HPV infection chance is reduced by 60%. Now is 60% is barely, so be it, but being you tend to not play with the same person over and over and over again, I'm all for my wife having a 60% less chance of getting a possible cancer causing infection.

 

Condoms are not perfect, but they are not placebos either. They WORK, science has PROVEN it in study after study.

 

Playing without condoms is a choice and I choice I respect, but new swingers need to know the truth on these matters.

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In general, I'm still of the camp that HSV2 and HPV aren't the end of the world. HSV has become very treatable with oral medication, and most people don't experience more than a couple of outbreaks in a lifetime as long as they are willing to get it treated and take care of themselves. Still not something I'd WANT to have, but I'm okay taking the risk.

 

High risk HPV is highly unlikely to cause any serious issues as long as you get checked out regularly (once a year) and get any mutating cells removed before it can turn to cancer - which from what I've read/been told takes up to 10 years or more and the signs are there much earlier so action is possible.

 

Low risk HPV causes genital warts which generally heal themselves fairly quickly, can be removed in the doctor's office, or can be treated with a type of ointment.

 

So, those are the STI's that condoms aren't as effective against. You just have to decide if you're willing to deal with the treatment options if you get one.

 

Chicup said:
There is having your own preferences and desires, and there is giving bad and untrue advice to people when it comes to their health.

 

Everyone gets to have the former, but I draw the line at the latter.

 

Condom Use and the Risk of Genital Human Papillomavirus Infection in Young Women

 

Condom Use and Other Factors Affecting Penile Human Papillom... : Sexually Transmitted Diseases

 

Condom use promotes regression of cervical intraepithelial neoplasia and clearance of human papillomavirus: A randomized clinical trial - Hogewoning - 2003 - International Journal of Cancer - Wiley Online Library

 

Consistent Condom Use Is Associated with Lower Prevalence of Human Papillomavirus Infection in Men

 

Case-Crossover Analysis of Condom Use and Herpes Simplex Vir... : Sexually Transmitted Diseases

 

I could go on and on if people insist. With constant condom use, HPV infection chance is reduced by 60%. Now is 60% is barely, so be it, but being you tend to not play with the same person over and over and over again, I'm all for my wife having a 60% less chance of getting a possible cancer causing infection.

 

Condoms are not perfect, but they are not placebos either. They WORK, science has PROVEN it in study after study.

 

Playing without condoms is a choice and I choice I respect, but new swingers need to know the truth on these matters.

 

Thank you for these links... I've read a couple of the trials and looked up the test they use to check for HPV in men. Apparently it is rather unreliable and that's why it hasn't been FDA approved for mass use in doctor's offices around the country. You have to make sure you swab/biopsy

the area that's actually infected with HPV, and since one cell can carry it and the one right next to it may not be infected, it's hard to get an accurate reading via that test. Granted, it's highly accurate if the doctor gets the right spot.

 

This explains to me why they generally only test women when they find lesions - they KNOW and can SEE the infected area. No missing the unhealthy cells when they change colors when vinegar touches them!

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Here's what I can tell you for sure about condom use. Many couples who claim to be "religious" about condom use, suddenly become "condom atheists" when out of eyeshot of their spouse. And this applies to both men and women. They'll go bareback on impulse without so much as a mention of condoms...but never in the presence of their spouse. These same couples, when at the club's bar or at the party's snack table, will act vehement in their criticism of bareback aficionados. Now of course there are couples who don't show such hypocrisy, and there's no need to point out that "so and so" is one of them.

 

What annoys me the most, however, is how the woman is always blamed. I can give you several examples, but I'll give you one. Many years ago we were regulars at a weekly hotel party. It was a two room suite with a bedroom for playing and a larger area for socializing. Near the end of the night my husband and I were ready to leave when one of the men there that I’d seen a few times before pulled me aside and said he hadn’t cum yet, and his wife wanted to leave soon … and he asked if he could “borrow me” for “a minute”. My husband nodded, and the man and I went to the bedroom where we were alone.

 

He sat on the corner of the bed and pulled me towards him. While his wife was busy saying her goodnights to her friends, he quickly took his penis, which was already fully erect, through his zipper, said to me “c'mon", and positioned me to straddle him. It was clear he needed to get this done while his wife was still occupied. So I straddled him under my skirt, tugged my panties to the side, and took him in bareback. In the style of a typical quickie “get his rocks off fast” procedure, I synchronized my motions to push down as he pushed up … and his rocks got off quite effectively. He gave me a kiss, thanked me, and told me how much he needed that. Although it was more like a medicinal act than a sexual one, it was beautiful nonetheless.

 

The next day I got a call from the host couple telling me my husband and I were banned from future parties. Apparently this man cannot keep an erection with a condom, his wife had somehow clued in that we did a quickie fuck, and deduced that he couldn’t have been wearing a condom. He and his wife “religiously” swear by condoms. Under pressure he confessed. Unfortunately, the party had a strict condom rule, something that is not only demeaning, but invites a potentially devastating lawsuit. If anyone’s interested I’ll you why you should never try to enforce “safety” rules at a private sex party. But back to my story. I was flabbergasted. I thought the Constitution allowed for consenting adults to engage in sex as they wish. I was even more flabbergasted to learn that the other couple was NOT banned … just me.

 

For eons women have always been blamed for sexual “misconduct”, even when perpetrated by men. Eve caused the wrath of God, not Adam. Under Islamic law a woman is responsible for her own rape. The English language contains about 15 words to describe a sexually promiscuous woman … but only one or two words for men, and they’re cute words like “randy”. And apparently this kind of sexist ignorance is alive and well in the swinger community. HE was the one who couldn’t fuck with a condom. HE was the one with the commitment to his wife. HE was the one who “needed that”, in his own words. And yet, I was at fault.

 

Anyway, that’s my rant for the day – I welcome yours.

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Here's what I can tell you for sure about condom use. Many couples who claim to be "religious" about condom use, suddenly become "condom atheists" when out of eyeshot of their spouse. And this applies to both men and women. They'll go bareback on impulse without so much as a mention of condoms ... but never in the presence of their spouse.

 

This has not been our experience. Either we are with die hard condom requiring couples or maybe it's a generational difference where people who were more educated about STD's in school starting in the 80's through today are more cautious. We are not far off in age but STD education I think was a huge debate when I was in 9th grade.

 

 

These same couples, when at the club's bar or at the party's snack table, will act vehement in their criticism of bareback aficionados. Now of course there are couples who don't show such hypocrisy, and there's no need to point out that "so and so" is one of them.

 

While I'm not one of the couples mentioned above. I'll plead guilty here about criticizing bareback at clubs. If we elect to go bareback (and we have had two couples we reached this level with) it was usually after careful deliberation followed by our decision. In a rare case or two, we made decisions based on our 'trusted' playmates decisions but this was after came to understand and trust how they played, how often, how conservative they were, etc.

 

 

What annoys me the most, however, is how the woman is always blamed.

....

 

For eons women have always been blamed for sexual “misconduct”

 

Of course it's the woman's fault...duh. Just kidding :lol: There are people out there, men, who do not blame the woman for things. Hopefully we are a growing bunch.

 

About your specific story, being prior military I'm a stickler for rules. It's so asinine to the point that when someone gets in the 10 items or less line with 11 items I have to bite my tongue not to say anything. Okay, so I'm not that anal but if you clearly have double I really want to ask them if they are special. :D

 

Him and his wife were probably close with the owners/hosts??? While I don't think you getting banned and him not was fair, I do understand that things like this happen and are common.

 

I would believe in this instance it was all about who they knew versus your gender.

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But I don't see the 60% reduction in HPV transmission in the studies Chicup posted. I saw a difference between 53.9% and 37.9%, a decrease of 42%. This was a study of men, who are very difficult to test for HPV, the test unreliable enough that it hasn't been approved for prime time by the FDC.

 

I see a 3.6% increase in the odds of HSV-2 transmission for bareback vs. condom in another study Chicup posted. HSV-2 is not the prevalent herpes virus, HSV-1 being far more prevalent. And it being the one more easily transmitted.

 

Chicup criticizes calling out the limited effectiveness of condoms towards HPV and HSV as bad and untrue. Within these threads condom use is consistently described as safe sex when it is not. The more accurate term safer sex is not often used. The cumulative effect is the feeling that condoms are safe protection from these STD's when they are not. Their limitations are important to point out.

 

The really bad and untrue advice is to lull others into the belief that condom use is safe sex for these STD's when their effectiveness toward STD's most prevalent in adults is at or below 50%. The reason these STD's are the most prevalent is precisely because condom use is limited in effectiveness against them.

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The really bad and untrue advice is to lull others into the belief that condom use is safe sex for these STD's when their effectiveness toward STD's most prevalent in adults is at or below 50%. The reason these STD's are the most prevalent is precisely because condom use is limited in effectiveness against them.

 

Agreed. There is a difference between educating people on the actual effectiveness, and using that information as a reason not to use condoms. Some folks are trying to educate and advocate for smart risk management. Others are justifying their choice to not use condoms. The fact is that condoms do provide additional safeguards against STD's. Even if in some instances that increase is small. We can quibble over the percentage, but I think we can all agree that there is an increase in safety.

 

I agree it's dangerous to make people feel like if they wear a condom they won't catch anything. I also think it's dangerous to make people feel like condoms don't do much so why not just go without.

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Dangerous is the thought that you MAKE people feel like condoms protect completely or that they are useless by posting whether you feel they do.

 

People make up their own minds, like you did.

 

Describing how you feel yourself is not dangerous to another person unless you believe people are incapable of making their own decisions.

 

The point of discussions like this is to post how we each feel without someone telling us it's dangerous to voice your own opinion.

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The point of discussions like this is to post how we each feel without someone telling us it's dangerous to voice your own opinion.

 

My point is that expressing how you "feel" isn't useful to someone trying to make up their own mind. For someone to make up their own mind they need to look at information/data/statistics. So posting about the statistics that made you decide not to use condoms is helpful. It allows people to weigh the information and make smart risk management decisions of their own.

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How each person makes those decisions is based as much on how you feel about those risks as on the pure statistics of risk. Some people look at the risk of dying from HIV infection as something small, similar or less than dying from a car accident. Others will look at that risk in terror.

 

Rarely are statistics here presented without interpretation because statistics alone don't inform, they have to be put into some sort of context. That context, that interpretation, is very much about how one feels.

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In order to protect from std like disease, there is need of care when you choose to date somebody over time, you must get to know about them, find out about their background and get tested and then choose to sleep with them. The most effective way is get married which always have assurance of saving from std.

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I am a noob to this site, and may I say yikes! These Std threads and posts scare the hell out of me! Before having my baby, I worked as a nurse for 7 years. In nursing school we learned about the importance of wearing gloves to protect us from many things, mainly in body fluids such as HIV and Hep B. I remember them saying, "assume everyone has it", and that very statement comes to my mind now. I don't judge others behavior, or have an "opinion" on others play habits...but for myself it does help me to figure out how safe I want to be in the lifestyle. I don't think it is a "swinger" thing either I feel it is the same risks for all participating in active sexual behavior.

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In order to protect from std like disease, there is need of care when you choose to date somebody over time, you must get to know about them, find out about their background and get tested and then choose to sleep with them. The most effective way is get married which always have assurance of saving from std.

 

How exactly does a marriage ceremony and certificate protect you from std's?

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I think I have read every one of the condom/no condom, safe sex/safer sex, std/sti threads on this board and I have come to one conclusion.

 

Some do, some don't!

 

Even if condom use only was .0001% safer than not using one I would still use one. That is my choice.

 

There have been many stories of people still being alive after a car accident because they were not wearing a seat belt. Does this cause me to not wear one no, I wear one whenever I'm in a car!

For us condoms are the same, better a little protection than no protection!

 

It's each and everyone's personal choice how they want to live and play!

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Safer sex is, at its core, all about assessing and mitigating risk. The risk to you and your partner, but equally the risk to those around you.

 

To successfully assess risk, you need information. That means learning about STD's and mitigation techniques (barriers etc). It also means getting yourself tested, and then communicating that testing status.

 

I really like Reid Mihalko's Safer Sex Elevator Speech.

 

Basically: "This is the last time we were tested, this is the result, this is the risky behavior we've been involved in since, this is how we protect ourselves, this is something we're really into/not into, how about you?"

 

The "how about you?" bit is critical. If you are met with blank stares, or a stuttered response, maybe it's time to move on or don the hazmat suits.

 

If you are promiscuous, accept you are going to catch something at some point. If that is your mindset, then you can work to put protocols into place that minimize the risk to yourselves (so you can treat it early) and to those around you (so you can modify your behavior) when it happens.

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I think that was the main thing in USA that mostly people don't have awareness of STD diseases.And the person who have that awareness will ignore that when doing sex .So that's why these diseases are commonly transmitting in USA.So government should also conduct some program to reduce these diseases and also give awareness to general public that how to prevent from it?

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I think that was the main thing in USA that mostly people don't have awareness of STD diseases.And the person who have that awareness will ignore that when doing sex .So that's why these diseases are commonly transmitting in USA.So government should also conduct some program to reduce these diseases and also give awareness to general public that how to prevent from it?

 

What do you consider awareness? Disease and prevention is covered in sex education classes in the schools, information is freely given in pamphlets in any doctor's office and the leading authorities on medical issues give out information on websites that are easy to access. I can't imagine that more can be done to educate people.

 

Anytime people choose to have sex, they put themselves at risk, even if they are protected, even if they are monogamous. The more partners, the more chances you have at exposure to something. Of course everything we do comes with risk. Get in a car and drive, you can have an accident or eat some food and get a heart disease. Each person has to determine how real the risk is to them and whether it's worth that possibility that something could happen.

 

Now what I want to know is...do you have statistics that show diseases are common in the U.S., how about compared to other countries?

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