Finding People into Soft Swinging?

mmds · 07-05-2003, 08:42 AM

Ideas or resources for finding people not into swapping? There seem to be a number of couples we've encountered lately who want steamy entertainment without hard core expectations.
They are interested in watching, groping around with others, etc., just not intercourse.
This may be more of an emerging trend that makes sexual variety more acceptable or something that was always a part of the lifestyle. Either way, we think it's a great way to explore fantasies and realities. Any others of similar mind (and body!) on the site?

OhioCouple · 07-05-2003, 10:32 AM

While we aren't soft swappers by choice, we would not be opposed to it if we met a couple we really enjoyed. There are many soft swappers, at least as I have seen through the ad sites we belong to.

Jessie B · 07-05-2003, 02:54 PM

Full swap is just the top color of a spectrum of social activities which has existed since Lillith moved into Eve's neighborhood. All cultures develop their folk dances which are ritualistic expressions of suppressed desires for a temporary exchange of partners with his neighbor. The round robin good night hug after the church social raises more than just the warm spirit of good neighborliness.
Violet is my favorite color but I can find time to enjoy other hues too. When Laura calls to invite Ted and me over to watch the Saturday afternoon game, I immediately start looking forward to half time when I'll be enjoying the sensation of Malcolm's magnificent tool stirring around inside me while Ted is satisfying his addiction to the feel of Lauras beautiful full boobs against his chest.
At the other end of the spectrum, I enjoy dancing with Fred Strom at the club. He's a smooth partner and we can draw applause with our version of the tango and while we do raise each other's temperature, I have no intention of ever getting into bed with him.
At present, we're at the soft swing stage with Karen and Mark, a couple whom we met at Ted's company picnic. I'm fairly certain that this will develop to a fine full relationship but we're not rushing it - getting there is half the fun.

Flori_DAMAN · 07-05-2003, 04:14 PM

When you compare soft swinging with no swinging its a major difference. ONe that is just as intense for the people that are involved in it.

Soft swinging seems to be an issue that hard core swingers would think is absurd after they have had years of full swap, but there are many many people that go to the point of soft swinging and never go beyond it, or even stick with the lifestyle while not participating in ANY swinging.

Welcome to the varied and non descriptive world of swinging.

John

jbcouple · 07-09-2003, 01:49 PM

It would be the best solution for us, where one partner is not willing to commit to full sex with others... but still wants to enjoy the arousal and sexual excitement that "playing" with others creates. Our excursions to the adult dance clubs have worked reasonably well to that end, but we are afraid we are not being fair to others… so are reluctant to return.

Can anyone mention sites where you can specify “soft” only? So no one is misled. Or are there others in the DFW area that feel as we do?

Thanks,

J&B

namdloytrid · 07-09-2003, 02:38 PM

On SLS (www.swinglifestyle.com) you can specify that you're "tame".

Their definition of tame pretty much fits the soft-swap:
"Are you interested in tame pleasures such as meeting others at a nude beach, or same room sex, but with your own partner? Things such as these? "

Flori_DAMAN · 07-09-2003, 03:40 PM

I would venture that for every hard core swinger there are 10 people that would in fact like soft.

It is how you word your advertising. Be very explicit about what you want and you may be inudated by others that feel as you do.

It is up to you to take time to screen carefully though, cuz some people lie.

John

BiCoupleTN69 · 07-09-2003, 05:30 PM

We are still less than a year starting as swinger, we enjoy oral sex with others including bi-sexual oral on both sexes where we share.

It's all about our comfort level, we tell others upfront that intercourse is not an option. Most have no problem with it.

It's all about your personal choices, we have done the full swamp in the same room but they were people that we both had a lot of fun being with and it only seemed natural to have intercourse.

We setill were very active participating togather while that was happening.

Flori_DAMAN · 07-09-2003, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BiCoupleTN69
We are still less than a year starting as swinger, we enjoy oral sex with others including bi-sexual oral on both sexes where we share.

It's all about our comfort level, we tell others upfront that intercourse is not an option. Most have no problem with it.

It's all about your personal choices, we have done the full swamp in the same room but they were people that we both had a lot of fun being with and it only seemed natural to have intercourse.

We setill were very active participating togather while that was happening.

I would love to try full swamp.

I don't normally poke fun at typos, but that was irresistable.

John

J & K · 07-10-2003, 10:36 PM

Our goal is to full swap, but for now we soft swing and are happy with it. We think soft first is always a great intro that maybe a full swap might happen later on in the friendship. Full swap right off the bat seems to aggressive to us. A little lite play at first just to see if there is sexual attraction. Why give everything up front? Give a little each time to make them want to come back for more. We are such teasers----lol.

velbuzz · 07-11-2003, 05:27 AM

Jessica's description of activities being like different shades of color is so true. Whether full swap or abstinence ; homosexual or heterosexual we are all somewhere in between. And sometimes its fun to move up and down the line

MCityCpl · 07-11-2003, 01:38 PM

The hardest thing I've found is telling other couples that we are soft only. It's not that it's hard telling them, it's just that I don't want them to be 'held back'. The last time we hooked up with a couple in a club, the other F wanted some sex BAD, but the problem is her husband was done, so for the time being, nothing could happen. We've never run across another couple who wasn't okay with soft only tho.

Flori_DAMAN · 07-11-2003, 04:14 PM

It is estimated that over half the couples that attend off-premises clubs never swing. I would bet there is a big market of finding soft swingers by seeking out the newcomers at good off-premise clubs.

John

thekolonel · 07-11-2003, 06:27 PM

Most of the couples we've met so far have been interested in something short of a full swap, or are curious about full-swap but haven't done it yet. We haven't felt pressured yet to do anything we weren't ready to do.

mmds · 07-12-2003, 11:56 AM

We agree ...seems some clubs may want to focus marketing the soft side of things to attract new, inhibited, or more traditional couples who simply want to spice things up without hard core commitments. Perhaps clubs could promote one night, exclusively for those interested in soft side activities -- and place ads in club/entertainment sections rather than the usual adult ad sections of the paper.

We bet there'd be a huge market because every couple we spoken with over the years craves some sort of variety when it comes to sex.

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07-05-2003, 08:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
mmds Registered Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7 Location: Miami Beach, Florida	Finding People into Soft Swinging? Ideas or resources for finding people not into swapping? There seem to be a number of couples we've encountered lately who want steamy entertainment without hard core expectations. They are interested in watching, groping around with others, etc., just not intercourse. This may be more of an emerging trend that makes sexual variety more acceptable or something that was always a part of the lifestyle. Either way, we think it's a great way to explore fantasies and realities. Any others of similar mind (and body!) on the site?

07-05-2003, 10:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	While we aren't soft swappers by choice, we would not be opposed to it if we met a couple we really enjoyed. There are many soft swappers, at least as I have seen through the ad sites we belong to. __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-05-2003, 02:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Jessie B Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 23 Location: Oregon	Good at any level Full swap is just the top color of a spectrum of social activities which has existed since Lillith moved into Eve's neighborhood. All cultures develop their folk dances which are ritualistic expressions of suppressed desires for a temporary exchange of partners with his neighbor. The round robin good night hug after the church social raises more than just the warm spirit of good neighborliness. Violet is my favorite color but I can find time to enjoy other hues too. When Laura calls to invite Ted and me over to watch the Saturday afternoon game, I immediately start looking forward to half time when I'll be enjoying the sensation of Malcolm's magnificent tool stirring around inside me while Ted is satisfying his addiction to the feel of Lauras beautiful full boobs against his chest. At the other end of the spectrum, I enjoy dancing with Fred Strom at the club. He's a smooth partner and we can draw applause with our version of the tango and while we do raise each other's temperature, I have no intention of ever getting into bed with him. At present, we're at the soft swing stage with Karen and Mark, a couple whom we met at Ted's company picnic. I'm fairly certain that this will develop to a fine full relationship but we're not rushing it - getting there is half the fun.

07-11-2003, 05:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
velbuzz Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 306 Location: Bradford County, PA Status: MWC 58/55 SLS Name:velbuzz	rainbow Jessica's description of activities being like different shades of color is so true. Whether full swap or abstinence ; homosexual or heterosexual we are all somewhere in between. And sometimes its fun to move up and down the line

07-05-2003, 04:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	When you compare soft swinging with no swinging its a major difference. ONe that is just as intense for the people that are involved in it. Soft swinging seems to be an issue that hard core swingers would think is absurd after they have had years of full swap, but there are many many people that go to the point of soft swinging and never go beyond it, or even stick with the lifestyle while not participating in ANY swinging. Welcome to the varied and non descriptive world of swinging. John

07-09-2003, 01:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
jbcouple Registered Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6 Location: Mc Kinney, Texas Status: C	It would be the best solution for us, where one partner is not willing to commit to full sex with others... but still wants to enjoy the arousal and sexual excitement that "playing" with others creates. Our excursions to the adult dance clubs have worked reasonably well to that end, but we are afraid we are not being fair to others… so are reluctant to return. Can anyone mention sites where you can specify “soft” only? So no one is misled. Or are there others in the DFW area that feel as we do? Thanks, J&B

07-09-2003, 02:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
namdloytrid Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 23 Location: Massachusetts Status: Couple	On SLS (www.swinglifestyle.com) you can specify that you're "tame". Their definition of tame pretty much fits the soft-swap: "Are you interested in tame pleasures such as meeting others at a nude beach, or same room sex, but with your own partner? Things such as these? "

07-09-2003, 03:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	I would venture that for every hard core swinger there are 10 people that would in fact like soft. It is how you word your advertising. Be very explicit about what you want and you may be inudated by others that feel as you do. It is up to you to take time to screen carefully though, cuz some people lie. John

07-09-2003, 05:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
BiCoupleTN69 Active Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 24 Location: NW Tennessee Status: Couple	We are still less than a year starting as swinger, we enjoy oral sex with others including bi-sexual oral on both sexes where we share. It's all about our comfort level, we tell others upfront that intercourse is not an option. Most have no problem with it. It's all about your personal choices, we have done the full swamp in the same room but they were people that we both had a lot of fun being with and it only seemed natural to have intercourse. We setill were very active participating togather while that was happening.

07-10-2003, 10:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
J & K Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 189 Location: Middle GA Status: Couple SLS Name:OKC_CPL	Our goal is to full swap, but for now we soft swing and are happy with it. We think soft first is always a great intro that maybe a full swap might happen later on in the friendship. Full swap right off the bat seems to aggressive to us. A little lite play at first just to see if there is sexual attraction. Why give everything up front? Give a little each time to make them want to come back for more. We are such teasers----lol.

07-11-2003, 01:38 PM	#12 (permalink)
MCityCpl Registered Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 9 Location: NWIndiana Status: Couple	The hardest thing I've found is telling other couples that we are soft only. It's not that it's hard telling them, it's just that I don't want them to be 'held back'. The last time we hooked up with a couple in a club, the other F wanted some sex BAD, but the problem is her husband was done, so for the time being, nothing could happen. We've never run across another couple who wasn't okay with soft only tho.

07-11-2003, 04:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	It is estimated that over half the couples that attend off-premises clubs never swing. I would bet there is a big market of finding soft swingers by seeking out the newcomers at good off-premise clubs. John

07-11-2003, 06:27 PM	#14 (permalink)
thekolonel Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 68 Location: NYC Status: Couple	Most of the couples we've met so far have been interested in something short of a full swap, or are curious about full-swap but haven't done it yet. We haven't felt pressured yet to do anything we weren't ready to do.

07-12-2003, 11:56 AM	#15 (permalink)
mmds Registered Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7 Location: Miami Beach, Florida	We agree ...seems some clubs may want to focus marketing the soft side of things to attract new, inhibited, or more traditional couples who simply want to spice things up without hard core commitments. Perhaps clubs could promote one night, exclusively for those interested in soft side activities -- and place ads in club/entertainment sections rather than the usual adult ad sections of the paper. We bet there'd be a huge market because every couple we spoken with over the years craves some sort of variety when it comes to sex.

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