Your opinions on sexual exhibitionism

LovelyLynn · 05-15-2003, 10:36 PM

I have a question for the expierienced couples on the board. For quite a while I have had the desire to be in a more sexually charged environment while having sex with my husband. Now, I have been hanging around this board and learned a lot about the maturity required to swing and I must say I am impresed by a lot of you. The reason I bring this up is because I would like your opinions. I am wanting to find some couples or groups that are open and mature like yourselves to watch while each couple has sex.

I am in my 20's and find that a lot of couples around my age lack maturity when it is called for. Of course for a lot of couples at any age it seems can barely keep there own relationships together. On the other hand it seems that a lot of you put respect and your relationships above all else. Other than the fact that I am not technicly a swinger(yet

), I feel you people share more in common with my ideals than most groups of people.

I would love to try new things but Im not near ready for a 4some or swaping. However, I feel that being in and getting comfortable as a couple around swingers would open the door to a lot of new expieriences for me.

So I was curious how the couples on here would feel about having a non swaping couple around having sex in the same room as them. Does it make a difference to you if there are just 2 couples, more than 2, group sex, or swaping going on in the room? What do you think the best way to go about it would be? Is this something that Swingers in general accept?

Ashley · 05-16-2003, 01:00 AM

There was a lot of controversy about this on the houseboat trip that I just returned from. There were quite a few soft swingers on board and the hard swappers were upset about it. The general consensus seemed to be that soft swappers should go on a clothing optional cruise/trip/whatever not a swinger's cruise. Personally it didn't bother me but I think the complainers were most upset at the diminished number of potential partners as a result of this.

LovelyLynn · 05-16-2003, 01:23 AM

Thanks for your response. I guess I could see the point of problems on a swingers trip. What I was thinking of is evening affairs like hanging out with a swinging couple, going to some kind of social, or a swingers club. I personaly want a comfortable way to get into swinging, and dont think being on a boat or in any other situation lasting several days would do it for me

Well hopefully thats more of a feeling by that group on the trip. I hope that not how a lot of swingers feel all the time. What is the general consensus in more short term and/or social settings?

Tanman aka Mike and Marie · 05-16-2003, 07:11 AM

There are softswingers out there who would probably love to have you in the room with them.

Some people like to start off slowly (like us) and just enjoy "watching and being watched" . Don't be swayed by "hard-core" swingers who got upset with others not like themselves. I'm quite sure most people don't just jump in headfirst and become "hard-core" swingers anyway.

You would be surprised by the number of people that go to swing clubs that don't exchange partners. Search for others like yourselves on some of the swinger-type websites or place a personal ad in your area to find the kind of people you are looking for.

Good luck and have fun

naughty A · 05-16-2003, 07:12 AM

one of the clubs that I used to go to had some kind of sticker code system for quick identification.

This colour sticker meant virgin - first time at a club
another colour - soft swing
another colour - full swing
there might have been some other colours... I don't really remember.

great idea, the problem was no one really knew what the stickers meant and hardly anyone actually WORE their nametags so it was useless, but still a great idea.

Naughty A.

Brit_Pair · 05-16-2003, 07:32 AM

I'd go along with what Tanman said. At the end of the day, so long as you don't misrepresent yourselves, then you should be able to swing as soft or as hard as you like. I can appreciate the problems encountered during the houseboat trip, when there are limited places available, but you should still never feel put off from sticking to your guns.

If it's a busy shore-side on-premises club, there shouldn't be any problem with you blending into the background and doing all the watching that you like. After all, newbies are encouraged to visit and see what goes on without feeling pressured to join in. And there are always enough "watch and be watched" types out there for you to track down an individual couple to play with at home or at a hotel.

Roxysbayou · 05-16-2003, 08:11 AM

I think that we started out that way, although we never thought of it as swinging. Just a bunch of friends sharing a hotel room and having sex. There are numerous couples out there that are soft swap only. As the others have said, just be honest about how far you are willing to go. You shouldn't have any trouble finding other couples with the same interests.

mopek · 05-16-2003, 02:29 PM

If you post ads on swinger sites online you should be able to find a couple or couples very easily who would be interested in what you are looking for. I have known many people that swing that have started out this way and still soft-swing from time to time. As long as you are very upfront about what you'd like in your ad and make it sound fun...you should be on your way..

mopek
P.S. Roxy ... when you say "bunch of friends" do you mean from the lifestyle or just regular friends? The reason I ask is because I can't imagine doing that with my friends although it sounds fun.

Roxysbayou · 05-16-2003, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mopek
P.S. Roxy ... when you say "bunch of friends" do you mean from the lifestyle or just regular friends? The reason I ask is because I can't imagine doing that with my friends although it sounds fun.

No, I mean regular friends...lol. We have same room with my husbands best friend and the girl that he was dating at the time. It didn't seem like that big of a deal at the time. I didn't even know that swinging still existed back then. I thought it was one of those seventies things that you read about in Playboy.

Roxy- Still a little neive and wet behind the ears I guess.

***JustAskJulie*** · 05-16-2003, 07:03 PM

What you are talking about is a form of swinging. It falls in the realms of soft-swinging, which is basically anything from same room sex to anything short of swapping for intercourse.

You would probably really enjoy going to a club with your hubby and having sex together. The only thing I advise is to make sure you are honest and up front with those you meet so that there are no false expectations. If you do that then everyone is in for a good time.

Also, try posting an ad or two to find other couples interested in same room sex. I'm sure you'll get a few bites. You aren't alone in your interests.

CherryPunk · 05-16-2003, 07:40 PM

We went to a swing party, our first, and it didn't work out at all like we had thought it would and it worked out wonderfully at the same time. However, we both learned a lot from the experience that will tailor our tastes for times to come.

We had no expectations to begin with... had actually expectated to go up to our room and have hot sex alone together (which is mighty fine if you ask me)... but, one thing led to another. We have to say, that the best time we had was when it was us and another couple... just exploring and some oral... no penetration. It was very comfortable.

The most important thing to us though was, that throughout the entire experience, we were totally aware of the other. We were making love to one another even while there were other people touching us or we were touching others. We caught eyes, we smiled and talked. The most memorable was, after we had fantastic oral with the other couple, we held each other close and looked each other in the eyes and said, "I love you" simultaneously.

It was "us" having fun... that's the most important thing... and, we imagine, why people say go at the speed of the slowest... enjoy yourselves... etc. We feel that, as long as it is the "we" that are having fun... then WOW...

sorry for the long post, especially from a newbie... but have fun

[as an aside, because we noticed you mentioned ages... we are 32 and 26 respectively

]

Vjklander · 05-16-2003, 07:52 PM

As an inveterate voyeur, I think just watching your friends perform is a great idea. As an inveterate exhibitionist, I think your idea of performing while your friends watch is a great idea. As long as you are upfront about what you want to do all should be fine. Sounds like a hot tub would be ideal for you too. Even when we share pleasures with others, a very large part of our enjoyment comes from seeing ny hunny get pleasured, as well as pleasuring a nice girl myself. Geez, htat sounds like fun to me....
J

couple5251 · 05-16-2003, 08:41 PM

Now thats the kind of night we hope to have,we are also new to the lifestyle and attend our first swingers club dance.We went with the ideal of not trying to find a couple but to have a good time,to make a long story short we had a great! time and plain on going back and back and back we do hope that sometime we will have the same kind of night that you had

CherryPunk · 05-16-2003, 08:48 PM

As long as you are making love *with* each other... I'm sure you will

LovelyLynn · 05-17-2003, 03:14 AM

Thank you everyone for your advice and input. I am glad this is such an open and helpfull place for us beginers, it makes it easy to ask questions i might me uncomfrtable asking anywhere else.

I am glad to see that this is generaly viewed as acceptable

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05-15-2003, 10:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
LovelyLynn Active Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 25 Location: S.W. Missouri Status: M. Female	Your opinions on sexual exhibitionism I have a question for the expierienced couples on the board. For quite a while I have had the desire to be in a more sexually charged environment while having sex with my husband. Now, I have been hanging around this board and learned a lot about the maturity required to swing and I must say I am impresed by a lot of you. The reason I bring this up is because I would like your opinions. I am wanting to find some couples or groups that are open and mature like yourselves to watch while each couple has sex. I am in my 20's and find that a lot of couples around my age lack maturity when it is called for. Of course for a lot of couples at any age it seems can barely keep there own relationships together. On the other hand it seems that a lot of you put respect and your relationships above all else. Other than the fact that I am not technicly a swinger(yet ), I feel you people share more in common with my ideals than most groups of people. I would love to try new things but Im not near ready for a 4some or swaping. However, I feel that being in and getting comfortable as a couple around swingers would open the door to a lot of new expieriences for me. So I was curious how the couples on here would feel about having a non swaping couple around having sex in the same room as them. Does it make a difference to you if there are just 2 couples, more than 2, group sex, or swaping going on in the room? What do you think the best way to go about it would be? Is this something that Swingers in general accept? __________________ Lynn Thank You,Drive Through:)

05-16-2003, 01:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
LovelyLynn Active Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 25 Location: S.W. Missouri Status: M. Female	Thanks for your response. I guess I could see the point of problems on a swingers trip. What I was thinking of is evening affairs like hanging out with a swinging couple, going to some kind of social, or a swingers club. I personaly want a comfortable way to get into swinging, and dont think being on a boat or in any other situation lasting several days would do it for me Well hopefully thats more of a feeling by that group on the trip. I hope that not how a lot of swingers feel all the time. What is the general consensus in more short term and/or social settings? __________________ Lynn Thank You,Drive Through:)

05-16-2003, 07:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
Tanman aka Mike and Marie Looking for new friends Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 201 Location: Brentwood TN Status: Couple SLS Name:Mike_n_Marie	There are softswingers out there who would probably love to have you in the room with them. Some people like to start off slowly (like us) and just enjoy "watching and being watched" . Don't be swayed by "hard-core" swingers who got upset with others not like themselves. I'm quite sure most people don't just jump in headfirst and become "hard-core" swingers anyway. You would be surprised by the number of people that go to swing clubs that don't exchange partners. Search for others like yourselves on some of the swinger-type websites or place a personal ad in your area to find the kind of people you are looking for. Good luck and have fun __________________ Life's too short to not have as much fun as possible !

05-16-2003, 08:11 AM	#7 (permalink)
Roxysbayou Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,376 Location: Louisiana Status: Married Female SLS Name:likethat	I think that we started out that way, although we never thought of it as swinging. Just a bunch of friends sharing a hotel room and having sex. There are numerous couples out there that are soft swap only. As the others have said, just be honest about how far you are willing to go. You shouldn't have any trouble finding other couples with the same interests. __________________ I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah! --Austin Powers

05-16-2003, 01:00 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ashley Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 207 Location: Arizona Status: Couple	There was a lot of controversy about this on the houseboat trip that I just returned from. There were quite a few soft swingers on board and the hard swappers were upset about it. The general consensus seemed to be that soft swappers should go on a clothing optional cruise/trip/whatever not a swinger's cruise. Personally it didn't bother me but I think the complainers were most upset at the diminished number of potential partners as a result of this.

05-16-2003, 07:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
naughty A Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 997 Location: windsor ontario Status: couple - female half	one of the clubs that I used to go to had some kind of sticker code system for quick identification. This colour sticker meant virgin - first time at a club another colour - soft swing another colour - full swing there might have been some other colours... I don't really remember. great idea, the problem was no one really knew what the stickers meant and hardly anyone actually WORE their nametags so it was useless, but still a great idea. Naughty A.

05-16-2003, 07:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Active Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,634 Location: UK Status: Couple	I'd go along with what Tanman said. At the end of the day, so long as you don't misrepresent yourselves, then you should be able to swing as soft or as hard as you like. I can appreciate the problems encountered during the houseboat trip, when there are limited places available, but you should still never feel put off from sticking to your guns. If it's a busy shore-side on-premises club, there shouldn't be any problem with you blending into the background and doing all the watching that you like. After all, newbies are encouraged to visit and see what goes on without feeling pressured to join in. And there are always enough "watch and be watched" types out there for you to track down an individual couple to play with at home or at a hotel.

05-16-2003, 02:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
mopek Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 36 Location: canada Status: couple	If you post ads on swinger sites online you should be able to find a couple or couples very easily who would be interested in what you are looking for. I have known many people that swing that have started out this way and still soft-swing from time to time. As long as you are very upfront about what you'd like in your ad and make it sound fun...you should be on your way.. mopek P.S. Roxy ... when you say "bunch of friends" do you mean from the lifestyle or just regular friends? The reason I ask is because I can't imagine doing that with my friends although it sounds fun.

05-16-2003, 07:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 21,508 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 53	What you are talking about is a form of swinging. It falls in the realms of soft-swinging, which is basically anything from same room sex to anything short of swapping for intercourse. You would probably really enjoy going to a club with your hubby and having sex together. The only thing I advise is to make sure you are honest and up front with those you meet so that there are no false expectations. If you do that then everyone is in for a good time. Also, try posting an ad or two to find other couples interested in same room sex. I'm sure you'll get a few bites. You aren't alone in your interests. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

05-16-2003, 07:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
CherryPunk Active Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 30 Location: New Jersey Status: Couple	We went to a swing party, our first, and it didn't work out at all like we had thought it would and it worked out wonderfully at the same time. However, we both learned a lot from the experience that will tailor our tastes for times to come. We had no expectations to begin with... had actually expectated to go up to our room and have hot sex alone together (which is mighty fine if you ask me)... but, one thing led to another. We have to say, that the best time we had was when it was us and another couple... just exploring and some oral... no penetration. It was very comfortable. The most important thing to us though was, that throughout the entire experience, we were totally aware of the other. We were making love to one another even while there were other people touching us or we were touching others. We caught eyes, we smiled and talked. The most memorable was, after we had fantastic oral with the other couple, we held each other close and looked each other in the eyes and said, "I love you" simultaneously. It was "us" having fun... that's the most important thing... and, we imagine, why people say go at the speed of the slowest... enjoy yourselves... etc. We feel that, as long as it is the "we" that are having fun... then WOW... sorry for the long post, especially from a newbie... but have fun [as an aside, because we noticed you mentioned ages... we are 32 and 26 respectively ]

05-16-2003, 07:52 PM	#12 (permalink)
Vjklander Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 813 Location: VA Status: Couple, Straight M, BiFem SLS Name:Vjklander	As an inveterate voyeur, I think just watching your friends perform is a great idea. As an inveterate exhibitionist, I think your idea of performing while your friends watch is a great idea. As long as you are upfront about what you want to do all should be fine. Sounds like a hot tub would be ideal for you too. Even when we share pleasures with others, a very large part of our enjoyment comes from seeing ny hunny get pleasured, as well as pleasuring a nice girl myself. Geez, htat sounds like fun to me.... J

05-16-2003, 08:41 PM	#13 (permalink)
couple5251 Active Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 17 Location: ala. Status: couple married	Now thats the kind of night we hope to have,we are also new to the lifestyle and attend our first swingers club dance.We went with the ideal of not trying to find a couple but to have a good time,to make a long story short we had a great! time and plain on going back and back and back we do hope that sometime we will have the same kind of night that you had

05-16-2003, 08:48 PM	#14 (permalink)
CherryPunk Active Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 30 Location: New Jersey Status: Couple	As long as you are making love with each other... I'm sure you will

05-17-2003, 03:14 AM	#15 (permalink)
LovelyLynn Active Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 25 Location: S.W. Missouri Status: M. Female	Thank you everyone for your advice and input. I am glad this is such an open and helpfull place for us beginers, it makes it easy to ask questions i might me uncomfrtable asking anywhere else. I am glad to see that this is generaly viewed as acceptable __________________ Lynn Thank You,Drive Through:)

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