Jump to content
LovelyLynn

Swingers' opinions on sexual exhibitionism by nonswingers

Recommended Posts

I have a question for the experienced couples on the board. For quite a while I have had the desire to be in a more sexually charged environment while having sex with my husband. Now, I have been hanging around this board and learned a lot about the maturity required to swing and I must say I am impressed by a lot of you. The reason I bring this up is because I would like your opinions. I am wanting to find some couples or groups that are open and mature like yourselves to watch while each couple has sex.

 

I am in my 20's and find that a lot of couples around my age lack maturity when it is called for. Of course for a lot of couples at any age it seems can barely keep their own relationships together. On the other hand it seems that a lot of you put respect and your relationships above all else. Other than the fact that I am not technically a swinger (yet ;) ), I feel you people share more in common with my ideals than most groups of people.

 

I would love to try new things but I'm not near ready for a 4some or swapping. However, I feel that being in and getting comfortable as a couple around swingers would open the door to a lot of new experiences for me.

 

So I was curious how the couples on here would feel about having a non swapping couple around having sex in the same room as them? Does it make a difference to you if there are just 2 couples, more than 2, group sex, or swapping going on in the room? What do you think the best way to go about it would be? Is this something that Swingers in general accept?

Share this post


Link to post

There was a lot of controversy about this on the houseboat trip that I just returned from. There were quite a few soft swingers on board and the hard swappers were upset about it. The general consensus seemed to be that soft swappers should go on a clothing optional cruise/trip/whatever not a swinger's cruise. Personally it didn't bother me but I think the complainers were most upset at the diminished number of potential partners as a result of this.

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks for your response. I guess I could see the point of problems on a swingers trip. What I was thinking of is evening affairs like hanging out with a swinging couple, going to some kind of social, or a swingers club. I personally want a comfortable way to get into swinging, and dont think being on a boat or in any other situation lasting several days would do it for me:)

 

Well hopefully that's more of a feeling by that group on the trip. I hope that not how a lot of swingers feel all the time. What is the general consensus in more short term and/or social settings?

Share this post


Link to post

There are softswingers out there who would probably love to have you in the room with them.

 

Some people like to start off slowly (like us) and just enjoy "watching and being watched" . Don't be swayed by "hard-core" swingers who got upset with others not like themselves. I'm quite sure most people don't just jump in headfirst and become "hard-core" swingers anyway.

 

You would be surprised by the number of people that go to swing clubs that don't exchange partners. Search for others like yourselves on some of the swinger-type websites or place a personal ad in your area to find the kind of people you are looking for.

 

Good luck and have fun

Share this post


Link to post

one of the clubs that I used to go to had some kind of sticker code system for quick identification.

 

This colour sticker meant virgin - first time at a club

another colour - soft swing

another colour - full swing

there might have been some other colours... I don't really remember.

 

great idea, the problem was no one really knew what the stickers meant and hardly anyone actually WORE their name tags so it was useless, but still a great idea.

Share this post


Link to post

I'd go along with what Tanman said. At the end of the day, so long as you don't misrepresent yourselves, then you should be able to swing as soft or as hard as you like. I can appreciate the problems encountered during the houseboat trip, when there are limited places available, but you should still never feel put off from sticking to your guns.

 

If it's a busy shore-side on-premises club, there shouldn't be any problem with you blending into the background and doing all the watching that you like. After all, newbies are encouraged to visit and see what goes on without feeling pressured to join in. And there are always enough "watch and be watched" types out there for you to track down an individual couple to play with at home or at a hotel.

Share this post


Link to post

I think that we started out that way, although we never thought of it as swinging. Just a bunch of friends sharing a hotel room and having sex. There are numerous couples out there that are soft swap only. As the others have said, just be honest about how far you are willing to go. You shouldn't have any trouble finding other couples with the same interests.

Share this post


Link to post

If you post ads on swinger sites online you should be able to find a couple or couples very easily who would be interested in what you are looking for. I have known many people that swing that have started out this way and still soft-swing from time to time. As long as you are very upfront about what you'd like in your ad and make it sound fun...you should be on your way..

 

mopek

P.S. Roxy ... when you say "bunch of friends" do you mean from the lifestyle or just regular friends? The reason I ask is because I can't imagine doing that with my friends although it sounds fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by mopek

P.S. Roxy ... when you say "bunch of friends" do you mean from the lifestyle or just regular friends? The reason I ask is because I can't imagine doing that with my friends although it sounds fun.

 

No, I mean regular friends...lol. We have same room with my husbands best friend and the girl that he was dating at the time. It didn't seem like that big of a deal at the time. I didn't even know that swinging still existed back then. I thought it was one of those seventies things that you read about in Playboy.

 

Roxy- Still a little neive and wet behind the ears I guess.

Share this post


Link to post

What you are talking about is a form of swinging. It falls in the realms of soft-swinging, which is basically anything from same room sex to anything short of swapping for intercourse.

 

You would probably really enjoy going to a club with your hubby and having sex together. The only thing I advise is to make sure you are honest and up front with those you meet so that there are no false expectations. If you do that then everyone is in for a good time.

 

Also, try posting an ad or two to find other couples interested in same room sex. I'm sure you'll get a few bites. You aren't alone in your interests.

Share this post


Link to post

We went to a swing party, our first, and it didn't work out at all like we had thought it would and it worked out wonderfully at the same time. However, we both learned a lot from the experience that will tailor our tastes for times to come.

 

We had no expectations to begin with... had actually expectated to go up to our room and have hot sex alone together (which is mighty fine if you ask me)... but, one thing led to another. We have to say, that the best time we had was when it was us and another couple... just exploring and some oral... no penetration. It was very comfortable.

 

The most important thing to us though was, that throughout the entire experience, we were totally aware of the other. We were making love to one another even while there were other people touching us or we were touching others. We caught eyes, we smiled and talked. The most memorable was, after we had fantastic oral with the other couple, we held each other close and looked each other in the eyes and said, "I love you" simultaneously.

 

It was "us" having fun... that's the most important thing... and, we imagine, why people say go at the speed of the slowest... enjoy yourselves... etc. We feel that, as long as it is the "we" that are having fun... then WOW...

 

sorry for the long post, especially from a newbie... but have fun :)

 

[as an aside, because we noticed you mentioned ages... we are 32 and 26 respectively ;) ]

Share this post


Link to post

As an inveterate voyeur, I think just watching your friends perform is a great idea. As an inveterate exhibitionist, I think your idea of performing while your friends watch is a great idea. As long as you are upfront about what you want to do all should be fine. Sounds like a hot tub would be ideal for you too. Even when we share pleasures with others, a very large part of our enjoyment comes from seeing ny hunny get pleasured, as well as pleasuring a nice girl myself. Geez, that sounds like fun to me...

Share this post


Link to post

Now thats the kind of night we hope to have,we are also new to the lifestyle and attend our first swingers club dance.We went with the ideal of not trying to find a couple but to have a good time,to make a long story short we had a great! time and plain on going back and back and back we do hope that sometime we will have the same kind of night that you had :kiss:

Share this post


Link to post

Thank you everyone for your advice and input. I am glad this is such an open and helpful place for us beginners, it makes it easy to ask questions i might me uncomfortable asking anywhere else.

 

I am glad to see that this is generally viewed as acceptable :D

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally posted by LovelyLynn

I am glad to see that this is generally viewed as acceptable :D

It is very acceptable. As others have said, just be honest and upfront with anyone that you choose to swing with. We have done soft swinging with a couple that we previously did full swing with before. It is really erotic to watch two people who love each other make love. It makes the making love part for yourselves even that much more erotic for both couples. :)

 

Lori

Share this post


Link to post

I picture it as erotic. I am very sexually adventurous with my husband, but I never really get into porn. I have watched quite a few and find some entertaining but none of them seem like real people. Hehe, try some of the stuff in those movies and you will probably end up in traction for a month:).

 

I personally find that real couples having real sex, no matter if its mild or wild, is a very sensual thing for me. I think that to be there while its happening, watching the intimate connection of another couple, and doing the same with the person I connect with would be much more arousing:)

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally posted by LovelyLynn

Thank you everyone for your advice and input. I am glad this is such an open and helpful place for us beginners, it makes it easy to ask questions i might me uncomfortable asking anywhere else.

 

I am glad to see that this is generally viewed as acceptable:D

 

Please don't ever feel afraid to ask a question here. That's what we're all here for. We can help each other. With the diversity of experiences on this board, someone has probably been in your shoes and can offer good advice. And even if we haven't been in your shoes, we still offer advice. lol

 

One of the best things is you have a bit on anonymity here. Unless you choose to share personal info with other members, no one really knows who you are. That makes it easier to ask questions that could potentially be embarrassing. No face to face here. So no one sees you blush. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post

My ex and I did have sex in front of several couples especially at parties. It didn't bother us having sex in front of others until one of the guys would try to join in but their SO would not . We wanted no part of that, it had to be a couple swap or nothing,  didn't want to be part of any drama. Just a couple of times we had other couples join in, but most of the time they would watch and then start fucking their So.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By StartingOver60
      I am curious, when you are with another partner for the evening do you tend to have a new approach to adventure?
       
      Does the opportunity to be with someone new give you the feeling that you are free to reach out to new levels that you may not share with your spouse?
       
      Do you do things like swallow or go down on your new partner and not your spouse?
       
      Do you ever just let go and accommodate the requested new situation pushing the agreed upon boundaries/limits of your spouse?
       
      Do you have stronger or multiple organism's with you new partner?
       
      Do you have sex more times during the evening encounter than with your spouse?
       
      Do you look forward to a specific partner that elevates your experience?
    • By Sawman
      I am at the mature end of the swinging demographic as are my play friends. The ladies have their share of curves and character lines and often prefer to wear something when younger, fitter ladies prefer total nudity. This is just to say clothing is totally OK if it makes you comfortable. This is not a photo shoot. This is intimacy and mutual giving. Besides, a little color and texture is nice to see and feel. When I know my partner is shy I can adjust and just observe that as a boundary.
       
      Now, go shopping.
    • By English Flames
      I have a fantasy of being pegged by my wife at say, a swinger house party, with the door open or some how on display for passerby’s to watch. My only concern is whether this would be considered disrespectful or against an unspoken etiquette? I can understand it’s not for everyone.
    • By Rae and Lynn
      Hi everyone! My wife who is African-American is brand new to swinging, that is, we went to a club last Friday night just to scout it out....she has never been exposed to the lifestyle before then...now she is very curious about the lifestyle....I am a white male who has been to clubs before....she would like to hear of experiences -- good or bad -- as well as any experiences with interracial couples such as us....we found no other black females and one black male last Friday....she would prefer white male (s).....any info would be helpful for her....thanks........
    • By HotCplUk3040
      Ok so this may be a bit taboo and yes there are plenty of issues that come with this… but our conversation (and fantasies) revolve around swapping and sex in this fashion.
       
      It might sound silly but is this frowned upon in swinger circles? Would we be blacklisted or is there a place for this?
       
      We wouldn’t be sleeping around and maybe hope to find a regular couple or 2 to have this fun with, but as a general rule what’s the community’s approach to those coming in and looking to have bareback sex?
×
×
  • Create New...