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Thread: Ultra soft swinging

  1. #1

    Default Ultra soft swinging

    I've been reading from several sites to gather information but never before have posted. Do have a few questions. Is there a level that is even softer than soft swinging? Am interested in a m/f couple(s) sharing the same room/bed to have sex in but without any sexual touching between them (even kissing), with exception for the females. Has anyone heard of this before? Is it possible for a couple to go upstairs at an 'on-site' place and not have sex with another couple, just with themselves. Don't wanna come off as a prude asking these questions. I can't any friends these questions as they are borderline Stephen Baldwins.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Sure, it is often referred to as "same room sex". Just make sure that any couple you aproach for this is clear on what you want and you should have no problems. Same room sex without swapping happens all the time at clubs but don't be surprised if most people aren't interested in this. I don't think you will have a lot of trouble finding someone interested though.
    R (He is R, she is P)

  3. #3

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Any question is fair game on here as long as you are OK with any answer

    Same room sex is fun! We are a full swap couple but enjoy same room sex just as much as soft swaping. Like GT said, just make your inentions clear from the begining.

    Enjoy!
    ------------------------------------
    "Live your life like your ass is on fire"
    -Unknown

  4. #4

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by thesalshow
    I've been reading from several sites to gather information but never before have posted. Do have a few questions. Is there a level that is even softer than soft swinging? Am interested in a m/f couple(s) sharing the same room/bed to have sex in but without any sexual touching between them (even kissing), with exception for the females. Has anyone heard of this before? Is it possible for a couple to go upstairs at an 'on-site' place and not have sex with another couple, just with themselves. Don't wanna come off as a prude asking these questions. I can't any friends these questions as they are borderline Stephen Baldwins.
    Now, I know at the clubs this is possible. Heck, anythings possible I guess, as long as you are completely up front from the beginning. I honestly don't think many couples would go for it, but hey! There are some I'm sure. As long as you didn't lead me to think you would do different that is fine.
    Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho
    Shelly

  5. #5

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Soft Swinging is basically anything from Same Room Sex (which is what you are describing) up to but excluding swapping partners for intercourse. So I guess in that regard you could call Same Room Sex ultra soft swinging. I would dare say it is probably how many of us started out. I know it was how my ex and I started... and I know that for my current (should we get that far) it is how we will start as well.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Of course we have there are many house parties where we just don't click enough with another couple to have sex with them but will go off and either have sex just the two of us or with the other couple in the same room.

    Whatever floats your boat at the time and if it works then more power to you...
    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. "Harvey Fierstein"

  7. #7

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    My wife and I have enjoyed same room sex and more often having sex in front of others for the past two years in several different clubs and it's been great. Unfortunately, it seems like maybe 70% of the folks there are merely curious as they don't stick around when people start getting naked or maybe they're part of the 10% or so that seem to be hard-core swappers and the other 20% somewhere in the middle ( but I can't help but think part of the less-than-wanted attention is due to my wife being drop-dead gorgous and the other wives pulling their hubbies away). We fantasize with each other at home about going further, but I don't see that happening any time soon and which is fine with me.

    The closest we've come (!) was her recent fondling of another guy while his wife gave him head, two previous times when she asked other wives to give me head while she watched - yeah, 'every guy's fantasy' but it was not as enjoyable as I thought: I'm really only interested in my wife, had concerns about her motivation (was she feeling inferior?) and what to do if the other husband wanted his turn with mine - and once when another wife performed oral on mine while she gave me head. That's probably the single biggest fantasy-turned-reality for both of us, especially when my wife said the other woman wasn't that good, but we haven't been lucky enough to repeat.

    I agree that insuring other couples understand before you go into the room and all but one of the five or so couples we've been with would have easily gone further; i.e. better agree on your limits and help each other stick to them - you can always 'cross the line' another time - and there appears to be a lot of sincere advice on this site.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Although we are a full swap couple we still enjoy all the different levels of swinging. I think that if you are up front with people you will find many couples willing to accomidate you. Just be cautious that your limits are spelled out up front and do not cross any lines without discussing it with your S.O. first.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by ShellyM
    Now, I know at the clubs this is possible. Heck, anythings possible I guess, as long as you are completely up front from the beginning. I honestly don't think many couples would go for it, but hey! There are some I'm sure. As long as you didn't lead me to think you would do different that is fine.
    Happens more often than you'd think Shelly. And as Julie says, it's how many got their start. Everyone has their own comfort level. Sometimes you have to stretch them slowly.
    A Man's own manner and character is what becomes him - Cicero

  10. #10

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    I found a really indepth debate about soft swinging here - http://swingersblogger.com/blog_394.html

  11. #11

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Hey

    1. See Julie's note.
    2. There are no wrong questions or wrong situations in which to swing.
    3. You definitely made the right choice to ask your question here rather than with your friends. We've had friends that we were so absolutely sure were in the lifestyle just by the way they acted and spoke. And we tentatively broached the topic with them in a non-personal sort of way, and they were horrified; just horrified. It was definitely a live and learn. On the other hand, we've had some friends that did turn out to be in the lifestyle. You just can't tell.
    4. This site has a lot of good resource info about the ins and outs of swinging.
    5. In the world of motorcycling, there's an expression, "Ride your own ride." It means don't try to do something complicated on a bike just because someone else is doing it. Just take it slow and easy and do things that you're comfortable with. It's a good metaphor for swinging.

  12. #12

    Default At this point

    A lot of our swinging experience is more fun the 2nd time.. when we are along in bed talking or thinking back on it. I'd say same room sex would still be hot.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    The wife and I have been playing with our best friends (another married couple) for years, and we have only done same room sex up until recently. Granted, the ladies were allowed to have as much fun together as they wanted since the beginning. Recently, we have expanded the repertoire (sp?) to touching. I was always reluctant to go further, but I have to admit the new adventure is awesome. The other night I fingered my friend's wife to a shuddering orgasm while he did the same to my wife. The girls were playing with us as this went on...simply amazing.
    I am not sure we will take the "plunge" into full-on swapping- the wife and I discussed this isn't appealing to either of us. I personally would like to perform oral on my friend's wife (she has an incredible set of pussy lips I would love to suck on! LOL) and she has hinted she wants to give me a blowjob for my birthday next year. I think that will be as far as we go- I am a little wary about watching my friend go down on my wife, though. Something I will need to get over, if I want to be fair, of course . I think oral sex is very intimate-maybe more so than straight sex- is that odd? I dunno, but we are very comfortable with this couple, and have had MANY fantastic times together. I can't wait until my birthday....

  14. #14

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Although we have stepped up to full swap, we started as soft swap and still enjoy it! Not all couples do, but we feel that among friends you should go with what is comfortable for all. That's what building new friendships are all about!

    At our club, same room sex or any type of soft swap is not a problem upstairs. It's truly YOUR business what you do, as long as you follow the rules of 'undress' in the play areas that 'are not' clothing optional.

    Enjoy what feels good, and what is right for both of you as a couple!

    MsCurious

  15. #15

    Default Re: Ultra soft swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by hotcpl4unfla
    I think oral sex is very intimate-maybe more so than straight sex- is that odd?
    I completely agree! There are a lot of couples we've met in the lifestyle who do everything up to but excluding intercourse with play partners. But this never made sense to me because, for me, kissing and oral are way more personal than intercourse (especially intercourse involving a condom). So I guess I'm odd too.

    Sorry to hi-jack the thread... Now back to your regularly scheduled thread in progress...

    Hi thesalshow,

    I have very little experience but on the website where I meet most of my play pals, it's very common for couples to state that they only want same room sex and playing between the girls. Heck, my husband and I are just those type of folks. And at the club I attended, there were several couples who came, had sex with just each other in the group room and then split. It didn't seem the least bit unusual.

    Have fun out there!

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