Will full swap couples play with soft swing couples?

[alphaplaycpl]

Since Mr. Alpha and i are Soft Swingers, I am curious to know...

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off? Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge? Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? In other words, if the couple either swaps or doesn't for oral, does it make a difference in whether you will play with them or not?

Also - how many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap?

Thanks for your help satisfying my curiousity!
Mrs. Alpha

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off?

Yes, it is rather.

Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge?

Absolutely not! We're not in this to coerce anyone into doing anything they don't want to.

Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? In other words, if the couple either swaps or doesn't for oral, does it make a difference in whether you will play with them or not?

No, no difference. We would be most unlikely to even contact a soft-swing couple and if such a couple contacted us we would almost certainly decline to take things further.

Also - how many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap?

We've always been full swap.

CB & Red

[WesternSwing]

This is a good question. We started as a full-swap couple, but we don't have any problem doing soft swap, unless there are too many rules. Like oral? I would think at least that would have to be a given. Otherwise, in my opinion, all we're really doing is "spectating". If we soft swap I would want it to be an "everything but intercourse" situation. To me the whole idea we're there is to play with others in one way or another, not just watch them play.

Soft swap can be a nice change every now and then, though. Adds some variety.

Now, we'd NEVER try to convert someone. That would be manipulating them, and that is a HUGE no-no for us.

Mr. WS

[DGrey]

I echo the sentiments that we'd never try to convert a couple from soft to full. That said, we are full swap and prefer to play with other full swap couples. We don't think there's anything wrong with soft swap, it's just not for us.

Edited to add that we started in the lifestyle as full swap. Our mindset behind it was that if we were going to do this, it was all or nothing. That was a mutual mindset.

E

[good times]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off?

Yep, not interested. In the past when we have went ahead and played with a soft swap only couples it has been pretty dissappointing. While it may not be in your case, we have found that if someone is soft swap only, they are either really new and unsure of what they want, or have issues. Both of those have ended up creating more drama than we are willing to deal with so we just politely decline. Besides, to me soft swap is just the tease without any chance for satisfaction, so it pretty much takes the fun out of it.

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge?

No, they have their reasons and it is none of my business. When they say they only soft swap, that is all we need to know and we will move on.

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? In other words, if the couple either swaps or doesn't for oral, does it make a difference in whether you will play with them or not?

No.

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Also - how many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap?

We started out full swap. What got us interested in swinging was partying with a group of non-swinging friends were our teasing and petting with each others spouses eventually evolved into what we came to know was soft swinging. We got tired of the endless tease and wanted to take it further, they didn't. We got on the internet and found out about swinging, went to our first on-premise club, found lots of people that were willing to swap and haven't looked back.

While I am sure their are lots of people who find soft swinging completely fullfilling and all they want to do, it isn't for us. Luckily, their are all kinds of swingers, so their is plenty of fun for everybody, no matter what flavor you like.

[NakedInSeattle]

Agree with the above SwingersBoard friends. We're turned off by soft swappers but wouldn't wanna "convert" anybody from their comfy zone. They can go to a club where they can enjoy each other, the thrill of being around naughty goings on, and maybe watch others. But don't see why a full swap couple would want to party 2-on-2 with a soft swap couple. Nothing in it. Sorry if that sounds cold.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Since Mr. Alpha and i are Soft Swingers, I am curious to know...

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off?

I wouldn't say it would be an immediate turn-off. We had a couple who we played with for about 6 months that was a soft swap couple, and we had a good time with them. We've also had soft swap experiences with 2 other couples at some point in time, and it's been fun. Now, we don't seek out soft swap couples, and we wouldn't want to ONLY do soft with all the couples we're with, but we're not opposed to it.

Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge?

It's not like we can't find plenty of full-swappers to play with, so why would we spend the time trying to coerce someone into something they weren't ready for, or just plain didn't want to do, for whatever reason? Too many full-swap fish in the sea for that....

Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? In other words, if the couple either swaps or doesn't for oral, does it make a difference in whether you will play with them or not?

Yes, it would. The couple that we played with had no other limits other than no penis-vagina penetration with the opposite partner. That means toys, props, oral, etc was always a part of the equation, which made it different and less of a 'tease'.

Also - how many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap?

We were soft swap for exactly one day . While on vacation at Hedo 2, we soft swapped with a couple one afternoon, and full swapped the next day. We wanted to start off as soft, in case we had issues once we dipped our toes in, so to speak. We talked about it that night, and the next day, FULL speed ahead.

Pepper

[NandTfromCA]

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off? “Turn off” might not be the right phrasing but it would make us evaluate the situation more. There would have to be qualities that warranted that kind of concession (really nice, fun, hot, etc). Aside from the actual lack of penetration, soft swap couples don't tend to be in sync with the way we are. (not just the slutty factor)

Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge? Never. We get nothing from converting or “de-verging” anyone.

Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? Too many rules, or the presence of certain rules (like no kissing) would keep us from playing with someone…soft or full swap.

How many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap? We had one soft swap experience and then went to full.

[BiloxiCouple]

Dito to Cb_N_Red

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off? “Turn off” might not be the right phrasing but it would make us evaluate the situation more. There would have to be qualities that warranted that kind of concession (really nice, fun, hot, etc). Aside from the actual lack of penetration, soft swap couples don't tend to be in sync with the way we are. (not just the slutty factor)

Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge? Never. We get nothing from converting or “de-verging” anyone.

Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? Too many rules, or the presence of certain rules (like no kissing) would keep us from playing with someone…soft or full swap.

How many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap? We had one soft swap experience and then went to full.

Dito to all of it, even the one soft swap then full line

(though we have done full swap without kissing, soft swap without kissing is pretty limited)

[alphaplaycpl]

Thanks for all of the info! I am finding all the responses pretty interesting. It seems that there may be different swinging cultures out there...

Many of you mention that soft swingers bring too much drama, or don't know what they want. This makes me a bit nervous, as we certainly do not want to portray this to other swingers. We have made the decision to be soft swingers because we know exactly what we want (or don't want...)

Any suggestions on how to insure that we are not seen as a drama-filled, uptight couple with lots of rules? We only have one rule - no intercourse.

Thanks, again!
Mrs. Alpha

[Mike and Jan]

Just be honest, as you have here.

Make sure potential friends know that you're not newbies though, that way they'll know in advance that your 'no intercourse' rule is for real and not something that could change if things get hot.

This way there'll be no confusion later.

And I, personally, have enjoyed going into an adventure with another couple knowing in advance there'd be no intercourse with the other spouse. Hey! At least for me, intercourse is simply the finale, the flirting, kissing, petting, and oral is the feast!

You'll find a lot of couples who are into the same 'soft swing' thing. Maybe not so many here though.

Good luck and enjoy yourselves..., your way!

[The Fuse]

Just a big Ditto to several of the above postings... we met one soft swap couple without realizing they were soft swap (my fault). When it came out in conversation, we decided not to play with them, even though we liked them a lot. They persisted, and even held out the possibility that they might eventually change their mind. As a result of their emails and phone calls, we have had two very enjoyable play dates with them. They do not bring any drama, but don't show any signs of going full swap either. They keep asking when they can see us again. The problem is, the soft swap thing is just frustrating to me... a big tease as someone else said. As much as we like them, we may not see them again.

To the original poster, I would say just don't send any mixed signals like we have experienced with this couple. From what you wrote, it sounds like you wouldn't do that.

[funcpl4life]

Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl

Since Mr. Alpha and i are Soft Swingers, I am curious to know...

Those of you who are full swap couples, if you learn that a couple considers themselves soft swingers, is it an immediate turn off?

It's not a turn off, but it is a deal breaker. Mrs. FC4L doesn't do oral. Doesn't give; doesn't receive. She's in it for the pounding. That mostly eliminates soft-swap as an option.

Do you perhaps set out to "convert" them to full-swap as a challenge?

Nope. We have a pretty darn small set of partners. We're not out to change the world. (or have sex with it)

Does it make a difference to you what a soft swinging couples rules are? In other words, if the couple either swaps or doesn't for oral, does it make a difference in whether you will play with them or not?

Nope.

Also - how many of you began in the lifestyle as soft swingers and have become full-swap?

Nope.

Thanks for your help satisfying my curiousity!
Mrs. Alpha

I think you may find more people in the big wide world like you than like us. There's nothing wrong with being either way; it's just how you are. I'll bet our non-oral (with Mrs. FC4L) limits our play a lot more than soft swap does with you.

Mr. FC4L

[Sweet_Candy]

Dito to all the above post about no softswap. We've been there and done that and considered it to be pre-highschoolish (too many rules and teasing). Don't take this assessment as a slam though. If softswap's what a couple wants out of the LS more power to them.