Why do you full swap?

[larryt9]

Hi,
My girlfriend and I have been going to the trapeze swing club in Ft. Lauderdale for the past 2 months. We strictly stay with each other, and currently don't plan to full swap (eventually we'll get to having another woman in some way).
here's my question for those that do swap - Is allowing your partner to swap simply the price you have to pay for you to have your fun, or does the swap itself turn you on? I know I couldn't handle my girlfriend being with another guy, and if that means no other women for me, I'll deal (I love what we do just as it is, anything else will be icing on the cake). If you could have it exactly the way YOU wanted it, would you be having your fun while your partner just watches, or something like that, or is a full swap what you absolutely prefer?
Thanks
Larry

[VegasLee]

With us it is simple.

I do not own Laura and she does not own me. She plays with who she desires as I do. Most of the time we don't play with couples.

I like it the way it is. Her doing her thing and being happy about it which also makes me very happy.

Neither of us would do anything to "settle" or "Paying a price" for our fun.

When Laura agreed to be my partner for life she never agreed to do what I said.

[WesternSwing]

Allowing my partner to swap is definitely not the price I pay to have my fun. We prefer full swap. I get as much out of watching Mrs. WS as I do out of having sex with someone else myself. I love to watch Mrs. WS in action. I've said it before, she is my favorite pornstar. In fact, the big turn-on for both of us is the voyeur aspect of it. She loves watching me as much as I love watching her, whether it is just flirting with others at the club or having sex. It's a huge pride thing that someone else thinks my spouse is as hot as I do, and the icing on the cake is that I get her mind, soul, and body everyday.

I can say without a doubt the hottest experiences we've had are MFM threesomes, even hotter then FMF's we've had. Watching Mrs. WS being the center of attention and having that much fun is very satisfying. I love to see her getting all the attention she deserves.

Like Vegas Lee says, we do not own each other. We are together because we want to be together. The least I can do is give her every opportunity to be, and express, exactly who she is, whether it is hobbies or her sexual self. Like has been said, "What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do?"

Mr. WS

[meandher2go]

i (me) get a kick out of seeing her enjoying another guy or girl. she feels the same with me. its not about a scarifice. its about pleasure

[valley]

If you want to have fun with another woman,your partner is allowed the same choice....To have another man.

It doesnt mean she will. You are sensible enough to know that she has the same rights as you.Are'nt you?

[good times]

We enjoy seeing each other having good sex with others. If we didn't swap we wouldn't be swinging at all, soft swap, dancing, touching and other club activities we do is just foreplay. As the others have said it isn't something we "allow", we look at it as something we both enjoy. So for us full swap is what we absolutely prefer.

[BradAndJanet]

I enjoy seeing J have fun. Having other men desire her makes her feel good about herself and I like that too. When she's happy, I'm happy.

There's no quid pro quo about it. I'd be satisfied with only MFMs, although I wouldn't turn down the opportunity for other things.

-B

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by larryt9

If you could have it exactly the way YOU wanted it, would you be having your fun while your partner just watches, or something like that, or is a full swap what you absolutely prefer?

No way... In fact, when she gets done first (which happens WAY too often) I lose a little of my enjoyment. Partly because I am now pressured to finish so they don't have to sit there and drum their fingers... But mostly because Mrs Spoomonkey turns me on like no one else - and watching her is incredibly sexy.

When we started, we prefered single men. But as things have evolved for us, couples are definitely our preference. We enjoy singles when the connection is right, mostly because we enjoy watching each other.

Now - if I could have it EXACTLY like I wanted it - I'd probably include hot wings... But I'm a bit of a freak...

Spoomonkey

[sexyshelby]

I didn't know monkeys ate hot wings...you learn something new everyday!

~SS

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

I didn't know monkeys ate hot wings...

You'll find my tastes are surprising

Jane didn't stay in the jungle for Tarzan... Had it not been for Cheetah, that chick would have gone back to her priviledged life on Cape Cod. You know what they say, "Once you go simian, you'll never go home again..."

Spoomonkey

[acple4fun]

Larry it sounds to me like your venture into the swinging lifestyle is about you instead of about the two of you. It sounds like you are interested in having fun with other women and have some type of expectations of your lady being satisfied with this. The way I feel about that is that if that is your plans it is more or less no more that cheating in front of her.

Swinging isn’t for everybody that’s for sure. What it takes to enjoy this lifestyle, as a couple is two people that are above all open and respective of each other. From what you said you are in it for your pleasure only. My suggestion would be to fully evaluate both of your feelings before you venture any further into the lifestyle. Because if you expect her to just set-back and enjoy you having sex with another woman while your are too immature or too jealous to watch her having fun with another man will be doomed from the start in my honest opinion.

Until you except your lady as a partner and a friend in your relationship and not as a possession and object for your pleasure I don’t think you should explore swinging. Like I said swinging isn’t for everybody but if you can’t stand the thought of watching her having fun with somebody else don’t ask her to enjoy watching you having fun with somebody else.

Well that’s my thoughts about it you can take it with a grain of salt. All I know is that my marriage has lasted for 37 years with this mind-set.

[good times]

Originally Posted by larryt9

I'm not ok with her being with other guys. Does that make me immature?

Maybe, maybe not, but attacking other members of the board for giving a polite honest opinion based on a question you asked definitely does show your immaturity. Personal attacks aren't very well tolerated on this board, so chill out a little Larry, and do like acple4fun said and take it with a grain of salt.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by acple4fun

Well that’s my thoughts about it you can take it with a grain of salt.

That's the beauty of this board - you are going to get good advice and bad advice - but you are going to get advice... You do well to consider it all - keep the good, toss the bad...

While the advice Acpl4fun gave may not be for you - you just never know who might come along and read it and go "aha! I get it now..."

My advice on salt: Does not go good with wings since it cuts down the hotness...

Spoomonkey

[kinkycouple_21]

wow, this post really hits home for me. You and my husband seem to have the same mind set. We have been together five years and he has expressed many times that it is every mans fantasy to have a threesome. We had talked about swinging but he said he could never allow me to be with another man. Well being the great wife that I am, I went out and found a hot girl to fulfill his fantasy. I set no limits. It was fun but very unsatisfying for me because I am not attracted to women. Afterwards we sat down to talk about our future endeavors. He told me that he would love to continue bringing women into our bedroom but no boys allowed. I felt like a beat puppy. I know he told me from the beginning that it wasn't going to happen but for some reason I thought If I gave a little he would give a little. I know I probably sound like a big baby, but this will most likely be our first and last experience of this nature because I got nothing out of it. I feel that I made a huge sacrifice and am getting nothing in return.

Be sure to talk to your wife. You don't want her to go into this thinking it is going to open a door to something that is never going to happen. I thought our threesome would be a stepping stone to bigger and better things, but my husbands inability to get over his insecurities has actually became a road block.

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by kinkycouple_21

He told me that he would love to continue bringing women into our bedroom but no boys allowed. I felt like a beat puppy. I know he told me from the beginning that it wasn't going to happen but for some reason I thought If I gave a little he would give a little. I know I probably sound like a big baby, but this will most likely be our first and last experience of this nature because I got nothing out of it. I feel that I made a huge sacrifice and am getting nothing in return.

It strikes me that this isn't the first time by any means that something like this has been aired here. Without wishing to be too critical, the problem seems to lie in the expectation that a return gesture will be made. In reality, any bloke who is too insecure in his relationship to allow his wife the pleasures he seeks for himself is very unlikely to subsequently allow them. On the contrary, it is then likely he will want more of the same, assuming he has been given the green light.

What folks need to do before undulging in any play is to talk it through all the way, without making any assumptions, and then continue to talk. No such thing as too much communication!

Not trying to preach here, so don't feel bad about it.

Be sure to talk to your wife. You don't want her to go into this thinking it is going to open a door to something that is never going to happen. I thought our threesome would be a stepping stone to bigger and better things, but my husbands inability to get over his insecurities has actually became a road block.

Well assessed I think. Some (male or female) can get over their insecurities. Others cannot, no matter how much they try or talk about them. Even so, it seems to me that some people just don't want to get over them.

As for larryt9, resorting to that sort of language and abusive behaviour tells us rather a lot about him. My sympathies are with his missus if she has to put up with that whenever she tries to express her views.

CB