Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging

mde 4764 · 06-29-2004, 09:19 PM

We started out as full swap and have never looked back. We have no interest in soft swap. We don't understand the concept, I guess, of soft swap. It seems to us that it would be a mood breaker. You are playing with the other partner and things really get going and then it's, oh time to swap to your partner. Well what if the other partner isn't ready to swap back yet? Bummer. We decided before we ever went to a party that if we were going to swing it was going to all the way or no way and we have no regretts.

texasfans2003 · 06-30-2004, 04:13 AM

Our first experience was full swap. Then we met a couple who were soft swing only (and still are to this very day). We had some good times with them and are still friends, but found we preferred full swap.

Initially, the Mrs. preferred different rooms because she could not relax if she thought that I was watching her enjoy herself and partner. She thought I would be critiquing her. Instead, watching her was just very erotic for me. She now understands that and does not have a preference of same or different rooms.

Also, we don't mind soft swinging with others as long as it will eventually lead to a full swap. As we all do, we remember what it was like for us as beginners and respect their limits. However, as a preference, we do look for others who prefer full swap.

Just a final thought here. We really don't like the term "swap". It has a permanent conotation to it. We understand the history of the term and why it is still used, but we like the term "share" instead.

Chickadiva, we certainly agree with you. We have had to wade our way through some real weirdos with more explanations than a lying teenager to meet the "real" friends we have as swingers. As you have found, the couples we have met have truly been worth the effort.

stoutgatte · 06-30-2004, 05:23 AM

Answers:
1. We full swap
2. We'd play with softies...
3. Would love a thread on this... There are so many definitions of soft-swapping out there it isn't funny... Some ppl would say soft swing and exclude anything but kissing... Others would say anything goes but no penetration, others limit to no orgasms... Its something that can so easily lead to misunderstanding between couples and hurt feelings if not clarified beforehand...

Brit_Pair · 06-30-2004, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stoutgatte

...others limit to no orgasms...

Sounds like a somewhat tricky to arrange (not to say somewhat sterile) version of a soft swap.

De and Ci · 06-30-2004, 08:18 PM

We don't consider soft swap swinging. We wouldn't knowingly get together with a "soft" couple. Don't like restrictions in our play

New2 · 07-01-2004, 07:38 AM

The one aspect of soft swap that no one has brought up is trust and STD's. Pretty much everyone agrees that it is funner to do full swap than soft swap. Think of all the posts on here where you read about people who have had couples lie to them about what they looked like, their marital status, etc. If someone is going to lie about something where they will definately get caught, don't you think there are some couples who would lie about whether they had herpes, which may not be detectable? Granted, almost everyone uses condoms, but they are not 100%. Soft swapping allows some couples to experience the thrill of a certain level of sex with other couples while still being safe. I am defining soft swap as petting and mutual masturbation, but no oral or penetration.

On a side note, this brings up a situation I've always wondered about. At parties you see all kinds of couples use condoms for penetration, but not oral. Granted, it may (and I not sure it is ) be harder to contract HIV orally, but it seems to me that a woman swallowing a load of sperm is pretty high risk. Why bother with the condom for penetration? It's this issue that led us to only soft swap.

mde 4764 · 07-02-2004, 08:28 PM

On a side note, this brings up a situation I've always wondered about. At parties you see all kinds of couples use condoms for penetration, but not oral. Granted, it may (and I not sure it is ) be harder to contract HIV orally, but it seems to me that a woman swallowing a load of sperm is pretty high risk. Why bother with the condom for penetration? It's this issue that led us to only soft swap.

New2,
Swallowing should not pose a problem as I don't know of any virus that can survive in battery acid, which is what stomach acid is. I realize there are risk involved in swinging, but if I let these risk bother me then I would have to stop swinging all together as I would not be able to enjoy myself.

De and Ci · 07-03-2004, 11:17 AM

I agree with you mde 4764, You can minimize the risks, but not eliminate them. Lots of things we enjoy have some risks to them: Wintersports, backpacking (had bear enter our camp-scary), riding dirt bikes, jet skis. If we attempted to eliminate all risks-we wouldn't have a life

1freakincpl · 07-03-2004, 12:31 PM

We are a full swap cpl and have been with cpls that are soft swap.....Things didnt seem different we swing for the excited in our marriage and just being around cpls is enough for us. If we are with a soft swap cpl then we can make it fun for us and if we do things right then it might lead to that soft swap cpl moving to full swap

couple2002 · 07-05-2004, 04:51 PM

Definately soft swap for us, and by that we mean same room/ same partner sex. Enjoying everyone pleasure one another is a thrill for us, the sights, not to mention sounds is quite a rush. Touching/fondling is also what we include in the 'soft swap' category.

stoutgatte · 07-06-2004, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brit_Pair

Sounds like a somewhat tricky to arrange (not to say somewhat sterile) version of a soft swap.

I agree... Can't see the merit in the idea, but I've heard of one such couple....

stormtracker · 07-09-2004, 11:25 PM

"we have had some newbies that have freaked out after the fact although they told us they wanted it all, and didnt speak up to say they didnt feel right about something."

We also had this problem. Everything was fine while we soft played as a group, but when we actually swapped (my wife and I hard swap), things didn't go quite as smooth. While things went well on my end, the gentleman that went with my wife had "performance" problems, and couldn't do the deed. He then had a huge problem because the his spouse and I had no problems at all...coupled with the fact that she left some marks on my back....well, let's just say that we don't even visit them socially anymore. This was 3 years ago, and he still has major issues over it.

Vespertine · 07-10-2004, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mde 4764

We started out as full swap and have never looked back. We have no interest in soft swap. We don't understand the concept, I guess, of soft swap. It seems to us that it would be a mood breaker. You are playing with the other partner and things really get going and then it's, oh time to swap to your partner. Well what if the other partner isn't ready to swap back yet? Bummer. We decided before we ever went to a party that if we were going to swing it was going to all the way or no way and we have no regretts.

Dito Dito
We haven't had an experience with another couple yet, but we agree with mde 4764.
We've had three-somes and everything went. No holding back.
We would prefer to be in the same room because watching eachother in action is a BIG turn on for us.

micsounds · 07-11-2004, 10:34 PM

We are soft swing only because we get all the excitement and pleasure we need from that - so why take additional risks? The limits we have are to minimize risk: risk of STDs and relationship risk. Of course risks can be minimized, but never eliminated.

Randalls_angel · 07-12-2004, 06:37 AM

We are a soft swap couple, too. It's mostly a comfort level issue with me. We're new to this and there may be a day when we go to full swap...but it will be many experiences down the road!

As for our definition of soft-swap. 1) I have to be able to touch him! 2) Oral and touching are cool

but no intercourse. 3) Intercourse with our own partners in the same room with another couple is fun, too. 4)We've been discussing whether anal is ok in our definition of soft-swap or not and I'm still undecided about that.

We have played with full swap couples who were very comfortable with our limits. I think the most important thing, and I know I've read it here before, is to move at the speed of the slowest member of the group. In our group, that would be me!

~angel~

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06-29-2004, 09:19 PM	#31 (permalink)
mde 4764 Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 38 Location: Texas Status: couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging We started out as full swap and have never looked back. We have no interest in soft swap. We don't understand the concept, I guess, of soft swap. It seems to us that it would be a mood breaker. You are playing with the other partner and things really get going and then it's, oh time to swap to your partner. Well what if the other partner isn't ready to swap back yet? Bummer. We decided before we ever went to a party that if we were going to swing it was going to all the way or no way and we have no regretts.

06-30-2004, 04:13 AM	#32 (permalink)
texasfans2003 Here to Stay Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 48 Location: Austin,TX Status: Couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging Our first experience was full swap. Then we met a couple who were soft swing only (and still are to this very day). We had some good times with them and are still friends, but found we preferred full swap. Initially, the Mrs. preferred different rooms because she could not relax if she thought that I was watching her enjoy herself and partner. She thought I would be critiquing her. Instead, watching her was just very erotic for me. She now understands that and does not have a preference of same or different rooms. Also, we don't mind soft swinging with others as long as it will eventually lead to a full swap. As we all do, we remember what it was like for us as beginners and respect their limits. However, as a preference, we do look for others who prefer full swap. Just a final thought here. We really don't like the term "swap". It has a permanent conotation to it. We understand the history of the term and why it is still used, but we like the term "share" instead. Chickadiva, we certainly agree with you. We have had to wade our way through some real weirdos with more explanations than a lying teenager to meet the "real" friends we have as swingers. As you have found, the couples we have met have truly been worth the effort. __________________ D and A

06-30-2004, 05:23 AM	#33 (permalink)
stoutgatte Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 332 Location: South-Africa Status: Male Half	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging Answers: 1. We full swap 2. We'd play with softies... 3. Would love a thread on this... There are so many definitions of soft-swapping out there it isn't funny... Some ppl would say soft swing and exclude anything but kissing... Others would say anything goes but no penetration, others limit to no orgasms... Its something that can so easily lead to misunderstanding between couples and hurt feelings if not clarified beforehand...

06-30-2004, 08:18 PM	#35 (permalink)
De and Ci Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 182 Location: Austin TX Status: happily married	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging We don't consider soft swap swinging. We wouldn't knowingly get together with a "soft" couple. Don't like restrictions in our play

07-01-2004, 07:38 AM	#36 (permalink)
New2 Registered Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 3 Location: TX Status: Couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging The one aspect of soft swap that no one has brought up is trust and STD's. Pretty much everyone agrees that it is funner to do full swap than soft swap. Think of all the posts on here where you read about people who have had couples lie to them about what they looked like, their marital status, etc. If someone is going to lie about something where they will definately get caught, don't you think there are some couples who would lie about whether they had herpes, which may not be detectable? Granted, almost everyone uses condoms, but they are not 100%. Soft swapping allows some couples to experience the thrill of a certain level of sex with other couples while still being safe. I am defining soft swap as petting and mutual masturbation, but no oral or penetration. On a side note, this brings up a situation I've always wondered about. At parties you see all kinds of couples use condoms for penetration, but not oral. Granted, it may (and I not sure it is ) be harder to contract HIV orally, but it seems to me that a woman swallowing a load of sperm is pretty high risk. Why bother with the condom for penetration? It's this issue that led us to only soft swap.

07-02-2004, 08:28 PM	#37 (permalink)
mde 4764 Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 38 Location: Texas Status: couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging On a side note, this brings up a situation I've always wondered about. At parties you see all kinds of couples use condoms for penetration, but not oral. Granted, it may (and I not sure it is ) be harder to contract HIV orally, but it seems to me that a woman swallowing a load of sperm is pretty high risk. Why bother with the condom for penetration? It's this issue that led us to only soft swap. New2, Swallowing should not pose a problem as I don't know of any virus that can survive in battery acid, which is what stomach acid is. I realize there are risk involved in swinging, but if I let these risk bother me then I would have to stop swinging all together as I would not be able to enjoy myself.

07-03-2004, 11:17 AM	#38 (permalink)
De and Ci Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 182 Location: Austin TX Status: happily married	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging I agree with you mde 4764, You can minimize the risks, but not eliminate them. Lots of things we enjoy have some risks to them: Wintersports, backpacking (had bear enter our camp-scary), riding dirt bikes, jet skis. If we attempted to eliminate all risks-we wouldn't have a life

07-03-2004, 12:31 PM	#39 (permalink)
1freakincpl Active Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 12 Location: Newport News, Va Status: Couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging We are a full swap cpl and have been with cpls that are soft swap.....Things didnt seem different we swing for the excited in our marriage and just being around cpls is enough for us. If we are with a soft swap cpl then we can make it fun for us and if we do things right then it might lead to that soft swap cpl moving to full swap __________________ Till Then Happy Humpin

07-05-2004, 04:51 PM	#40 (permalink)
couple2002 Registered Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 9 Location: Ontario, CANADA Status: married couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging Definately soft swap for us, and by that we mean same room/ same partner sex. Enjoying everyone pleasure one another is a thrill for us, the sights, not to mention sounds is quite a rush. Touching/fondling is also what we include in the 'soft swap' category.

07-09-2004, 11:25 PM	#42 (permalink)
stormtracker Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 2 Location: Oklahoma City	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging "we have had some newbies that have freaked out after the fact although they told us they wanted it all, and didnt speak up to say they didnt feel right about something." We also had this problem. Everything was fine while we soft played as a group, but when we actually swapped (my wife and I hard swap), things didn't go quite as smooth. While things went well on my end, the gentleman that went with my wife had "performance" problems, and couldn't do the deed. He then had a huge problem because the his spouse and I had no problems at all...coupled with the fact that she left some marks on my back....well, let's just say that we don't even visit them socially anymore. This was 3 years ago, and he still has major issues over it.

07-11-2004, 10:34 PM	#44 (permalink)
micsounds Registered Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8 Location: North Carolina Status: Couple	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging We are soft swing only because we get all the excitement and pleasure we need from that - so why take additional risks? The limits we have are to minimize risk: risk of STDs and relationship risk. Of course risks can be minimized, but never eliminated.

07-12-2004, 06:37 AM	#45 (permalink)
Randalls_angel Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 57 Location: Michigan Status: couple SLS Name:Randalls_angel	Re: Full-Swap vs. Soft-Swinging We are a soft swap couple, too. It's mostly a comfort level issue with me. We're new to this and there may be a day when we go to full swap...but it will be many experiences down the road! As for our definition of soft-swap. 1) I have to be able to touch him! 2) Oral and touching are cool but no intercourse. 3) Intercourse with our own partners in the same room with another couple is fun, too. 4)We've been discussing whether anal is ok in our definition of soft-swap or not and I'm still undecided about that. We have played with full swap couples who were very comfortable with our limits. I think the most important thing, and I know I've read it here before, is to move at the speed of the slowest member of the group. In our group, that would be me! ~angel~ __________________ I'd rather be hated for being who I am than loved for being who I am not--unknown

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