Helping a Mature Lady Realize Her Sexual Desires

[ratimadan]

We are looking for some and suggestions and also a critique of our ideas, for helping Ann, a good and long time friend of ours, improve her social as well as her sexual life. This brief background, we hope will help. We have been friends with the couple, Ann and Sid for many long years. Sid died about three years ago, so Ann is a widow. Ann is about 60 years old, give or take a year or two. Ann is a very attractive woman who does not look her age. A stranger would put her at 50 some. She has two daughters, one married with kids, living a thousand miles away, and one who is single and lives with Ann.

We are in touch with Ann fairly regularly on the telephone or at social occassions (marriages, birthdays, etc.). So we have realized that Ann's social life is ho-hum and sexual life (having a BF and having sexual intercourse) is nonexistant. She is not interested in an LTR with a man for her own reasons. We tried discretely to gauge her attitude toward and interest in swinging to enhance her social as well as sexual life. We almost flipped when she confided that she had, over the many years, fantasized about swapping partners with other couples, watching her hubby play with (and fuck) another woman, while she played with and let the other guy fuck her. We always thought of Ann and Sid as a vanilla couple. For whatever reasons (Sid's ill health, most likely, or, disinterest in sex) the two never did any swinging with another couple and limited their sexual intercourse solely between the husband and wife.

We have some thoughts for Ann to help her get into the swinging lifestyle, since she is definitely interested in enjoying sex with other men. Ann is not very computer savvy, so we are helping her visit some swinger sites, such as this one. Various postings on this board have confirmed that couples are seeking single unattached females to play with and have full-blown sex with. We have shown Ann these postings.

Our thoughts and ideas to facilitate and empower Ann to get to experience what she desires (primarily, good, secure and varied sex) are :

1. Introduce Ann to a mature couple/s that has been swinging for some years to show Ann the ropes, and, in due time when she is ready ease her into a private couples' sex party where she may experience naughty games, and, of course play and have vaginal intercourse with other men. Ann is straight, so we have not talked about FF play. MFM would be fine.

2. Help Ann post a profile on swinger sites for women and couples looking to connect with single females (unicorns) for friendship and sex. Any suggestions here regarding appropriate swinger web sites?

3. Take Ann to a couples' club for an introduction to what swinging is about. She may just watch if she wants to, or, do whatever pleases her. This may include joining another couple for a threesome play and sex if she feels like. The club visit is to eliminate any misconceptions she may have about couples' clubs as places of prostitution.

We have tried to emphasize to Ann that as a single woman she is in control of who she has sex with, where and when. She has some conerns about whether or not a mature (or old) woman may be readily accepted by other couples in the swinging lifestyle. We have shown Ann some postings on this Board from younger men who have enjoyed swinging with and having sexual intercourse with older women. This is a great comfort factor for Ann. However, all in all, Ann is very eager to give swinging a try under right circumstances and with us as a couple guiding her to fulfill her sexual desires and fantasies.

For now we as a couple have not yet asked Ann for a night of play and sex. We think she might be too embarassed to get naked in front of someone she has known for many years and open up her thighs to let M's dick in her pussy. Of course this may change. We will wait for Ann to ask for a 3sum or 4sum play in due course as she feels comfortable with and enjoys the lifestyle and sex with other men. There will be simply many other options for her to enjoy sex in a variety of ways as well as with different male sex partners.

We are looking for all suggestions regarding web sites geared to single ladies (or unicorns) and any alternatives that will make a fine lady feel comfortable, secure and assist her to confidently enter the lifestyle to fulfill her sexual desires she has sherished and/or fantasizeds about for a long time.

We wanted to make this post as brief as possible, but didn't know how. We felt that many of the details will be helpful to the many readers of this Board in coming up with some creative suggestions. Forgive us for the ongwinded post.

[lizandtom]

If I was a sixty yo woman and knew you were thinking so much about sex for me, and associating such a strong labeling of 'swinging' to sex, it would probably freak me out and make me somewhat uneasy because I'm no Spring chicken. Instead of plotting, planning and mapping out a route for her to "swing," why not just pick her up for a night out; start with dinner, have some drinks and play it by ear. Undoubtedly the conversation will turn to sex, and if she's up for it you can take her to the local swing club. Nothing has to happen but if she goes out, feels comfortable once or twice, she can proceed at her own pace and perhaps it will all click naturally. As you stated, you have not "asked her directly to have sex." 99% of the time you shouldn't have to ask, the body language (proximity) and eyes do the talking, with the exception of a last minute 'is it ok if I kiss you?'

[PB&J]

Okay. I can't help but notice a common thread here in many of the threads that you have started as either Ratimidan, Sahaja Couple, or NealnAnji.

There's
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...g-rubicon.html

then there was
Initiating Wife's Sis-in-law into Swinging

and
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...threesome.html (in which you responded halfway through as Sahaja Couple, so it's pretty obvious that you're one and the same)

and who can forget
Wife Wants to Explore and Experience Swinging ?

as well as
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...threesome.html

and
Generally accepted limits in regards to swinging with in-laws or others (in which the scenario you present is almost identical to the second one listed)

That's all as Ratimidan. Now, as Sahaja Couple, you've started the following threads:

Should one partners high libido and desire to swing impact an otherwise good marriage

How Do We Help These Couples Swing? Tough Assignment


Finally as NealnAnji (who have the same AIM message address as Sahaja Couple), you have asked us to help with the following:

How to fit a third lady for swing play and sexual intercourse into our foursome?

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...mates-sex.html

Why have I noticed this? The writing style is pretty darn distinctive.

Just wondering... do you REALLY encounter that many older women who have a need for sex that you think that you can satisfy? Are there THAT many vanilla couples out there to seduce? and why do you have to do this with three different identities on here?

It bothers me because people take the time to give thoughtful answers to your posts, but I have to wonder if these problems actually exist, since there seems to be considerable duplication.

[LikeMinds321]

As PB&J has pointed out, you've got quite a long history here on the Board, posting similar threads, under various identities, about your desire to transform vanilla friends into swingers.

It's an obsessive behavior and I can't take your posts seriously.

LM

[Coupleerotic22]

Breaking News!!
Coming to you live from the Swingers Board, investigative reporter PB&J has.....

Damn PB&J you go get em. I have not been around long enough to see all those threads, but I am not sure I would have paid close enough attention to realize they are all one i the same. Thanks for pointing it out!

I looked at the Swing Lifestyle profiles attached to each and they are almost identical. And two are active. All free, zero certs, zero pics. Which leads me to wonder to myself if you are indeed real swingers or if there is just someone behind the curtain getting their rocks off or using this as some type of sounding board for research or story writing?

PB&J I love your style, you ROCK!

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by ratimadan

We are looking for some and suggestions . . .

Sorry, can't help. You forgot to put "none of the above" into your little on-line survey.

[ClosetSwinger]

I am not meaning to be mean but this whole post sounds sort of creepy to me. If I were the woman you were making all these plans for I think I'd run screaming like my hair was on fire. Your almost obsessed with figuring out ways to get her into bed and using the fact that you want to "help" her makes it even creepier.

If I were you I would just let her know hey we are swingers, if you are interested we can show you around, answer questions and go with you to a party if that will make you feel comfortable. We expect nothing but the offer is there. Leave it at that.

I don't mean to be harsh but it just seems like you sat down and plotted out a MAP of how to get this woman in bed and that's...well CREEPY.

[realcplub2]

R, I have the same question voiced above, You had a similar thread about how to get your Sister In Law, who was widowed, involved.

Lets put that aside, and go to your question this time.

There are factors that you failed to provide information on

How long has it been since she lost her husband?

Since it was a frank conversation about her sexuality with her husband, Did you explain that you were involved in the very events she claims to have had a desire about?

Was this a singular conversation or has she come back for further discussions?

Age is, a state of mind, some hit 60 and shut down others, can put 20 somethings to shame. But again it is the frame of mind that is key. rest assured that there are folks that will find her desirable, and re assure her of that fact.

As far as the statement about being computer illiterate, and give her both basic instruction on this as well as "show her around" the lifestyle sites. Rather than trying to get in her pants, offer to mentor her, and go a step further and make her your companion if she truly wants to try, to an event or two..

I do not need to point out, that she was a 20 something during the age of aquarius, And a Thirty something during the swinging 70s.. the key is if she truly has / had any of these thoughts then or now..

[ItTakes3]

My wife...in her sixties...has no interest in males her age and is not into bi activity. Since I have no interest in younger women, finding a couple for swinging is nearly impossible. No big deal, as I'm not really hot for swapping, but my wife does enjoy sex with other men, so I helped make her desires come true by setting up an account for her on a cougar website.

She has been inundated with contacts from men twenty and more years younger than her, and has bedded 7 or 8 of them at least once. She has also found a steady playmate who has kept her sexually satisfied for the past several months. It works for her, and I enjoy hearing about her exploits, so it works for me too. I've also had some one-on-one play with a single woman, so it's not as if I'm left out.


Instead of jumping immediately into swinging, maybe Ann would be more comfortable advertising on a cougar website for NSA friendship with a man who might have an interest in swinging at a later time. My wife had dozens of contacts from men her age, despite her profile clearly stating that she was only interested in men in their forties, so I'm sure Ann would have a lot of men and situations to choose from.

[PB&J]

[Chicup]

The real question is does it involve mutually satisfying intercourse where the penis enters the vagina for intercourse?



Seriously, if all these stories were true, the OP should be the one TEACHING people how to do this, not asking how to do it

[The Fuse]

Don't you mean "play, fucking and intercourse"?

[PB&J]

No, no, sinking dicks into pussies!!

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by PB&J

A wise corporate mentor said to me once that people seldom read an e-mail message any further than the second line. I believe this thread is positive proof of this principle. Anybody who had read as far as the second response would be embarrassed to comment in any serious fashion on the original posting.

Translated into English: Please do not feed the trolls.

[Alura]

Lighten up, Kids! I think "mature women" should have more sex. In fact, I have one in mind who, in my opinion, should have a lot more.

Alura