Why does my wife say her coworker is off limits to me?

[28volts]

my wife says her coworker/ friend #1 is off limits, but her boss or 2 other women i can f**k, all are vanilla.
#1 wants a threesome with me,her and husband
#2 is a man-nipulator, married several times all for material things she keeps
, at the bars she'll sit on my lap and shake her butt,she has proposition me and flirts with me.
#3 married, she told my wife her husband comes home to late and she was feeling horny, my wife told her that i could take of that.
the boss ,married but a flirt, on her birthday she offers me,noone else at work to spank her, she likes to sit on my motorcycle she won't even get on her husbands' bike, at the bars she'll sit on my lap and shake her butt.
There's a couple more workers but I think I've painted the picture.
Why is #1 off limits? My wife said it's because she's a coworker, then what about the rest. Get this I have a coworker/ friend that she'll hit on.
How and what do I do about this?

[MsGoneWild]

i can't really give you any advice on this.. It might just be me but i don't really comprehend your post. Would you mind clarifying it?

[Coupleerotic22]

To answer your question, ask your wife why she is off limits.

[slevin]

Could be so many different possibilities. There is no way for us to tell which one specifically is the reason your wife says she is off limits.

Personally, I would stop looking amongst your friends and mutual co-workers. Go out and meet someone new to get involved with.

[lustylearning]

Many of us have "no" lists. The reasons may be illogical, but so it is. My "no"s have been driven primarily by what I perceive may be the motivations of my hubby's potential partner. His "no"s are more broad. It doesn't matter. If we play, we respect one another's "no" list.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by 28volts

Why is #1 off limits?

Because "No means No".
lustylearning hit on it, in that it could be a specific, or a broad, general reason. Don't try to use logic and reason to figure out why. Just live with the "no".

Separately, I realize the dynamics of work relationships are different with every person and place, but I can't really see myself getting involved with any of Mrs two4you's peers, bosses, or direct reports. Work politics are enough of a bitch without throwing someone's husband trying to make a sex connection into the mix.

Good luck.

[sweet_tna]

Well, if you were my hubby, all 3 would be on the "no" list, because we feel it's a bad idea to swing with vanilla friends/coworkers. If you want to know what you're wife's reasons are, just ask her. But whatever they may be, then please remember that #1 is still off limits.

Best of luck to you . . .

[magnum]

Originally Posted by 28volts

my wife says her coworker/ friend #1 is off limits, but her boss or 2 other women i can f**k, all are vanilla.
#1 wants a threesome with me,her and husband
#2 is a man-nipulator, married several times all for material things she keeps
, at the bars she'll sit on my lap and shake her butt,she has proposition me and flirts with me.
#3 married, she told my wife her husband comes home to late and she was feeling horny, my wife told her that i could take of that.
the boss ,married but a flirt, on her birthday she offers me,noone else at work to spank her, she likes to sit on my motorcycle she won't even get on her husbands' bike, at the bars she'll sit on my lap and shake her butt.
There's a couple more workers but I think I've painted the picture.
Why is #1 off limits? My wife said it's because she's a coworker, then what about the rest. Get this I have a coworker/ friend that she'll hit on.
How and what do I do about this?

I would agree with msgonewild...please clairify your post so we can better advise.

[28volts]

I would like to say first, thanks for your advise so far,
Let me also say, that I have not played or started anything, for some reason they do this to me, I have and will respect my wifes' wishes always . What drives me nuts is she has singled out one coworker, but does not care if I did the other ones. I have kept it to flirting with them and thats it.
Like a man, I find no reasoning for this, just trying to understand my wife more.

[JandT_Elkhart]

Ask her.

My thought is possibly she has some jealousy with #1, or maybe #1 has somehow led your wife to believe she's after more than sex... or maybe your wife is jealous of a certain thing (bigger boobs? better butt? who knows..).

But when it comes down to it, she doesn't need a reason.

[Trace Ekies]

I read your post and started working up a long, drawn out answer about a host of different things...and then I read coupleerotic22's advice.

Ask her! She'll tell you...

But before you ask, be prepared to honor her request...

Trace

[ClosetSwinger]

Personally I think it's playing with fire to play with vanilla friends BUT ESPECIALLY with either you or your wife's co workers. Just a bad idea all around.

We started out playing with friends we had actually been friends with for more then 10 years....we were all best friends. To make a long story short we are no longer friends and that was a rock solid relationship.

I agree with you though your wife's reasoning is odd if you can't play with one but the others are okay. It's a bit strange and I would just ask her why. Make sure to tell her you respect her wishes and won't do anything she does not approve of, BUT you just are curious as to why.

[onesweetashoney]

I too agree with most people here NO is just NO it shouldn't matter why. That in and of itself develops the kind of trust needed to swing. When your partner asks something of you...it needs to be honored no matter what. I also think swinging with vanilla friends can get kinda hairy...they unlike swingers have a different mindset and it may cause problems for you later.

hope this helps and good luck!

[ClosetSwinger]

Just wanted to add that at one time my husband had told me NO about one man in particular. He had no reason and I didnt understand it AT ALL. I just respected him about it though and now he's changed his tune and is okay with said man. I still don't know what the problem was but just because it's NO now doesnt mean it's no forever....at least in our case it didnt.