Bi-women intruding on the dance floor...how do men handle this?

[exploringRM]

I wasn't sure weather to post this here or in general as it's not a huge problem but something I would like help and/or opinions on.

My wife is bi-friendly/hetero-flexible, she enjoys other women just not into it really full on. So she can't help me on this one.

Say I'm interacting with a truly bi woman on the dance floor or perhaps some close contact near the bar. Then another woman comes up and joins in giving attention to the women I'm with. I'm never quite sure what to do in that case, especially if I see the woman I'm with getting into the attention from the other woman. I sort of back off a bit and feel that this is her chance to get that bi attention that she does not get outside of the club. Should I back off? Should I fell a little intruded upon? Should I just keep giving attention along with the other woman. I'm sure this really depends on the person, but I wanted to get other bi-women's perspective on this.

My experience is this does not happen AS much where a guy will come up and get into the middle of things.

Not a huge problem or stumbling block for me, I just like to ask questions

[The Fuse]

This is a very interesting question.

I know womens' bi activity seems to get preferential treatment in the lifestyle, and further, a woman being assertive in any way, shape or form is rarely if ever discouraged. It just doesn't seem "P. C." to do so. Because of this, women often get away with stuff a man would be shunned for, in my opinion.

If I were a guy and in the middle of a seduction dance with a woman, and another woman came up and inserted herself into the situation in the way you describe, I would think one of two things. Either she is inviting attention from *both* you and the woman she is coming on to, in which case she would give attention to both of you. Or, what is probably more likely, she is basically ignoring the fact that you were in the middle of something, by in essence trying to woo your potential playmate away. (A third option is that she's just doing a "drive by" and wasn't going to stay long, just say a quick hello/grab/kiss/squeeze and keep going.)

If I'm with someone and someone else tries to take their attention away from me and focus it on themselves, unless it's in a pile of bodies or otherwise a group situation, I would think that was at best insensitive and at worst just dissing me. I wouldn't care if it was another woman, man, or couple. Someone acting like I'm not there is sure to get me pissed in a hurry.

How you react to this is up to you, of course. I've actually had, one time, a woman physically climb over me to get to the guy I was making out with, and tackle him, with no interest in my being involved. I was so shocked I just backed off, sputtered briefly, and then chalked it up to hilariousness. We were all pretty drunk and I already knew this woman was not someone I expected good behaviour from.

Other things you could do: treat it as an invitation to a threesome "Hey, I was here already, I figured you noticed and were being friendly", or you could ask your companion what she'd like you to do. You could glare at the intruder, which is probably not the best way of handling it.

Did this happen to you? What did you do? Do tell!...

[exploringRM]

It does happen to me at times and usually I know everyone involved or I know the other woman is a friend of the woman I'm with At times, I know the other woman joining is just interested in women to women contact so I don't take it really as a FMF. She is not interested in me. I don't take that personally, lol.

In these situations I wander between just sort of going with the flow to backing off a bit. For the most part we're all friends and typically it's just some fun dancing/flirting so it's not like we were headed to the play room and we got interrupted.

[lustylearning]

When cock-blocked by a woman... Only in the lifestyle!

[LikeMinds321]

I agree with The Fuse, there are so many ways to look at this situation.

My first thought is the behavior is rude.

There are exceptions, times when the dance floor is packed and people are all blending, with solo women merging with the crowd, and moving around from couple to couple, and that has its place. You can tell when it is general exuberance to acknowlege you for a minute, share in the fun of the group atmosphere, and then move on without trying to barge in.

When a bi-woman is trying to take your dance partner away from you, I'd first observe how your partner is reacting. Is she waiting for a cue from you on how to handle the situation? Does she appear uncomfortable with the other woman, or is she turning her interest away from you? Depending on how she is handling things would determine what you could do next.

If I were in your place, once I determined the intruder was trying to take over, I'd ignore her and keep a continual gaze into the eyes of my partner and smile, then I would make a gesture that would gently let her know she is mine (pull her toward me, spin her around and redirect ourselves so that we are no longer facing the intruder). I'd try to let her know I preferred to be sharing this moment alone with her.

How to handle the bi-women butt-in really depends on what you are sensing their intent is at that moment, and how your dance partner is reacting.

Good luck with this in the future, and let us know if this happens again and how you handled it.

LM

Make a (previous) agreement with your partner to trap the intruder between you, hands with your partner to encircle the intruder.

Whisper in the intruders ear, "it's all three of us together, or nothing".

Then press hard against her to emphasis how she violated your space on the dance floor.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

It does happen to me at times and usually I know everyone involved or I know the other woman is a friend of the woman I'm with At times, I know the other woman joining is just interested in women to women contact so I don't take it really as a FMF. She is not interested in me...

In this case, I'd want to send the message that what she has done is not welcome.

You're at a club where people know you, these intruders realize you're not dancing with your wife. They are trying to divert the focus to themselves and get attention from your dance partner.

Sometimes people don't realize the error of their ways until someone points it out. You could be doing these bi-intruders, and all men, a great service by dealing with them differently in the future.

Have you talked to other men about this? If not, I would and see if you can all come up with ideas on how to address this at your local clubs.

LM

[Alura]

I think the best thing to do when experiencing intrusion is to kiss the intruder, then your partner, then the intruder...


Alura

[exploringRM]

Thanks Alura, I needed a smile!

Most of the time when this happens it is within a group of friends, switching partners, etc. It's not when I've been with a playmate for the evening. And actually if it was someone that I was going back to play room with, I really would not mind the the intrusion so much as we will have some private time later.

I kept my original post generic, but it stemmed from having some sexy dancing fun with a female friend at a m&g; 1/2 of a couple that we really don't get to see too often. So I enjoy my time with her. But the episode got me to thinking that the women at times seem to have a free pass to intermingle with a m/f dancing and interact more with the f.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

..But the episode got me to thinking that the women at times seem to have a free pass to intermingle with a m/f dancing and interact more with the f.

They have a free pass because they have been given one.


It seems I misinterpreted your other two posts, in that, you're not bothered by their joining you afterall.

Sounds like you're doing okay.

LM

[charms123]

The behavior is rude. period.

But how would you handle this in a vanilla bar if someone came up to your date or someone you were trying to hit on and the same thing happened?

You would either say something or leave. Sometimes silence is the better part of valor.

Later, go up to Ms Rude and let her know that sometimes when people are talking, its not polite to barge in. Tho rude people never get that!

There are always more fish in the sea! So of us girl are straight and just want more cock! (can I say that here?)

N

[SoFlaCp]

Funny, this has occasionally been an irritation for my wife and I when we go to Trap. We generally treat it as a date night and really enjoy dancing with each other. If a lady wants to join both of us, that would be welcomed...as would an attractive couple. But with single ladies it is an almost exclusive monopolization of my wife and we both find that rude.

Thought we were the only ones who found this odd situation challengeattimes...mostguysback off to enjoy the show based on what we observe...

[fun4Ds]

Is this the same gal doing this, more than once to you, at the club ?

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Is this the same gal doing this, more than once to you, at the club ?

No, it was more of a general observation, brought on my a more specific happening of it.

[padoc]

We generally get fairly "frisky" on the dance floor at a swingers club. If a woman inserts herself into our mix I'll (Mr Doc) assume she is joining US. If Im fondling my wife I'll as a matter of course fondle the new addition as well. We may double team her or at some point double team Mrs Doc. If the interloper has no interest in playing with us both, she'll get our message quickly and move on. This has happened at Trap to us on occasion as well and as regulars, we recognize the few predatory females almost as easily as we do the males.