How do I tell my friend I want to have sex with her?

[Miss Sunshine]

I too have a girlfriend who I am close to but never said anything about the lifestyle. I value her friendship but I get so turned on by her that after we go out i come home and screw my hubby or masturbate. I want to have sex with her but it is not a subject we have ever talked about. She is recently divorced and is not seeing anyone. My husband says just take her out for drinks, go back to her place and make the moves on her but I fear i will lose her as a friend. Sorry to hijack this thread, but helpful hints would be nice.

[LikeMinds321]

I took your post from this thread, how to suggest "just sex" with a friend?, and made it a thread of its own.


I see a double hurdle here; she needs to be bisexual (or open to trying bi-sex) and she needs to be interested in sex with you.

Do you know if she is bisexual?

How long have you been friends?

Since her divorce, has she been dating, or trying to date?

At this point, I can't agree with what your husband suggests. I don't know enough about your girlfriend and your relationship.

LM

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I took your post from this thread, how to suggest "just sex" with a friend?, and made it a thread of its own.


I see a double hurdle here; she needs to be bisexual (or open to trying bi-sex) and she needs to be interested in sex with you.

Do you know if she is bisexual?

How long have you been friends?

Since her divorce, has she been dating, or trying to date?

At this point, I can't agree with what your husband suggests. I don't know enough about your girlfriend and your relationship.

LM

As usual LikeMinds is dead on. You don't know enough to move forward OR we don't know enough to give you advice.
Have you ever had general conversations of a sexual nature with her?
Did she avoid the subject or get into the conversation?
Does she know you are in the LS?

[realcplub2]

To add to the myrad of of questions, WITH explanations

Was the fivorce Her Idea or His? was it mutual or messy?

- If it was her idea cause she caught him cheating, she is likely to look on ANY folling around on the side to be a BAD THING..

How long has it been since her divorce and has she been dating since?

- If its been a while and is a bit frustrated your offer may be received better than if she is enjoying her new found freedom. PLUS, a stop at a local adult shop, for a battery operated boyfriend, can give you an opening.. " Here let me show you how to USE this"

Now, the final we Dont explain..

If things went bad between you both.. regardless of intimate times or not, would you be able to deal with not having her as a friend

[sunshine72605]

Sunshine don't do it she might or probably will have sex with you but after that she will get weirded out and probably never talk to you it happed to me twice. I even asked my girl friend if she was weired out and she said no but we haven't talk normal since idk maybe it's better to just keep it a fantacy find a different girl.

[Miss Sunshine]

Well, I get very horny when I am with her. One time, at the mall, I had to go to the ladies room and masturbate, that is how bad i get.

[Cajun2Step]

Originally Posted by Miss Sunshine

Well, I get very horny when I am with her. One time, at the mall, I had to go to the ladies room and masturbate, that is how bad i get.

I suggest you keep it a fantasy. A fantasy is better than no friendship at all. As suggested in other posts, it could cost you her friendship or worse get real weird between the two of you.

Lady C2S

Sounds like you've got it for her bad enough that you're going to end up doing something about it -- you just won't be able to help yourself.

So consider your options, and what may happen.

• Keep going like you are, and you drive yourself crazy. N.G.
  
  
• Start flirting and make a pass at her. If the relationship doesn't end, it certainly will change.
  
  
• Try a very slow seduction.
  
  Converse about sex, life style, girl-girl, etc. in the 3rd person; "I read an article the other day..."
  
  Complements; "You look so hot you could bed anyone."
  
  Questions; "Is there something you wanted to try that you didn't get to do with your ex? Is it cheating if everyone knows? Why do some women believe g-g isn't cheating?"
  
  Go swim suit shopping and share a dressing room.
  
  
• Drop the friendship. A great loss, and always the question "what if I'd tried?"
  
  
• Trust that the relationship can take a lot of stress, and talk it out. "I don't want to loose you as a friend, so I've been hiding my attraction; how can we deal with this?"
  
  If you can deliver the message without it sounding like a proposition, can she cut you enough slack to make life together fun without her being anxious about you wanting into her pants?

Try communicating and collecting information from her about her. The more you know about her, the better you can decide how to play it!

[Suburbia]

Time and time again in reading these threads I see a common theme.

One persons desires apparently overwhelm their common sense.

We CAN control our desires. Just because we WANT to do something doesn't mean we HAVE to do something.

My father-in-law, who is gay, has a saying that is gold to me: Don't fuck your friends.

Now, this is somewhat amended for our lifestyle because many of us are friends with those we fuck. But in your situation she is your friend. Friends are FAR more valuable than lovers.