Fantasy better left unfulfilled?

[funat40]

Hi, guys. Long-time lurker, first-time poster.

My wife and I have shared a long-time fantasy involving her blowing a room full of guys. Until recently, this was nothing more than a fantasy we would share in the "heat of the moment." But recently, we decided to turn this fantasy into a reality. We recruited a bunch of single guys from a popular swinger's web site, picked a date, and planned to book a hotel room.

However...the closer we got to this date, the colder our feet became. So we contacted all the guys to let them know the "event" has been put on hold.

The issue for us is the threat of contracting some nasty STD. We've done extensive reading on the subject, and every legitimate site advises you to never have oral sex without a condom, dental dam, etc.. But let's face it -- they HAVE to give you that advice. Of course there is a risk of contracting an STD through oral sex, and to advise someone to have unprotected oral sex would be considered reckless.

But realistically, no one wants to use a condom or dental dam for oral sex. (It would ruin our fantasy, frankly.) No couple we have ever been with has used protection for oral sex. And no one really knows the risk factors involved in having unprotected oral sex (because most people don't limit their exposure to only oral sex.) In reality, some STD's can (and are) transmitted through kissing, hot tubs and even skin-to-skin contact. And statistics show that more than half the people in the US over age 21 have some form of STD. Some STD's don't show up in testing, and others don't reveal themselves through symptoms for weeks, months or even years (if ever.) So most people with STD's don't even know they have them!

We've also read that when performing unprotected oral sex, it is safest to either swallow the cum immediately (letting the stomach acid kill the bacteria) or spit it out immediately. Either way, you are risking exposure to STD's through the exchange of bodily fluids and the thin membranes in the mouth and throat. So, whether you spit, swallow or stop before it gets to the point, you are equally at risk.

The thing is, as swingers, she has sucked several dicks without protection. Were they safer because they were married dicks? Are married guys safer than single guys? If a married guy's wife sucked a dozen dicks the week before you met them, wouldn't having sex with her be just as risky as sucking a dozen dicks yourself?

I guess my question is: is there any more risk in blowing a room full of single guys than having sex with a married couple who may have had unprotected sex with dozens of others prior to meeting you?

Is there a "safe way" to fulfill this fantasy of ours? Or are some fantasies better left as fantasies?

You all give great opinions here, and we value your advice. Thanks in advance.

[lustylearning]

I think you already have all the information you need and are the only ones capable of making the decision about whether or not the fantasy should be left as that. You must calculate the risk and determine your own risk tolerance as anyone in the lifestyle does...

[sweet_tna]

Honestly? I don't think it's any more or less risky. Those married guys were swingers, right? Then the same, "you're having sex with everyone they've had sex with," rule still applies.

What it all comes down to is ya'll deciding whether those are risks you are prepared to take. Do only what you feel comfortable with, and if those risks are too high for you (now, or ever) then perhaps this is a fantasy left unfulfilled.

=)

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by funat40

...We recruited a bunch of single guys from a popular swinger's web site, picked a date, and planned to book a hotel room....

Had you met these guys before inviting them to your blow party? If not, I think this is why you got cold feet. I think you knew the risks before you started planning this fantasy.

There is no guaranteed "safe way" to swing, IMO, with any type of sexual activity.

You didn't say if you've ever swung. If this would have been your first experience swinging, it isn't unusual to have second thoughts. If you are new to swinging, this would have been a big first adventure to pull off.

LM

[Newpants]

Originally Posted by funat40

,


I guess my question is: is there any more risk in blowing a room full of single guys than having sex with a married couple who may have had unprotected sex with dozens of others prior to meeting you?

Is there a "safe way" to fulfill this fantasy of ours? Or are some fantasies better left as fantasies?

You all give great opinions here, and we value your advice. Thanks in advance.

Bacteria, fungi and viruses do not respect marriage or pay any attention to any form or relationship status. All they care about is if they are in an environment that supports their growth and survival. You get STDs from having contact with infected persons, you do not get them based on what type of social or personal relationship you have with them or what their maritial or relationship status is. You can have a thousand one night stands with a thousand strangers you just met and as long as none of them are infected you will not become infected. You can also be a virgin untill your wedding night and if your spouse is infected, you will become infected on your first night of marriage.

You have obviously educated yourself on the transmission of STDs, I don't think there is anything else we can say here that you do not already know about STDs.

The thing I would offer is this - there is risk in every activity you do, how much risk are you willing to incur in the pursuit of recreation sex?

Lets compare swinging to any kind of sports since in many ways swinging is sport-fucking. There are two kinds of sports enthusiasts. The first kind is the actual participant that puts on the uniform and walks out onto the field and actually plays the game. The other kind is the spectator and the wannabe/dreamer.

The participant plays the game and reaps all the benifits but also incurs all the risk. The spectators/wannabes and dreamers sit with a bowl of chips in their laps and live vicariously through the players but incur none of the risks.

The players risk heat stroke, strains, sprains and fractures as well as paralysis and a number of amatuer and professional athletes alike even die in sports mishaps every year. The spectator/wannabe/dreamers never get hurt playing sports but they sit and get fat with their hot dogs, popcorn and beer in their laps and when they are alone with their thoughts, they always look back and ask themselves, "what if...?"

Niether is really any better and neither is really any worse than the other. The question you have to ask yourself is do you want to be a participant or do you want to be a dreamer?

[VegasLee]

You can play with one person and end up with a STD.

You can play with 1000 and never catch anything.

There is no "safe" way to play. You take your chances each and every time you do something.

Only you can decide if your hobby/fantasy is worth the risk.

[JustAskJulie]

For a long time my fantasy was a gang bang (involving oral and vaginal sex), I've NEVER used a dental dam for oral sex, and I can't even begin to estimate the number of dicks I've had in my mouth. That said, my first attempt at doing a gangbang I did something similar to what you described. I went online and tried to set up a group of guys. My plan was to meet them in a public place (with my husband at the time) and then go to a hotel room. Of the 6 or so guys I'd lined up 1 showed up. We had a great 3some.

From that experience, I learned one thing. It's best to stick with guys you know. I did eventually get my gangbang but all the guys were guys I'd met and was already comfortable with. I'd suggest you follow the same practice in fulfilling your fantasy. Even if it's just a matter of meeting guys one on one for a while until you've met enough to fulfill your fantasy. You said you are active swingers already, perhaps just lining up something at your local swinger club, or even just with guys you already know to make it happen rather than involving a bunch of strangers.

It's not any more safe because they are married, but it is more safe if you know them and feel you can trust them rather than just having random guys show up that you know nothing about and have never met. Trust your gut ALWAYS.

[lizandtom]

To play it safe, why don't you just get all the guys together and have them bang her with condoms on? Problem solved.

[Marts]

I agree with JustAskJulie take ur time both of you pick get to know n trust them I hate comdoms so I go for risk but I do my best to know who im with

GL

[JandT_Elkhart]

You could reduce your risk by requiring the participants to have a RECENT STD test and to bring proof...

[luckycple]

I don't mind being sucked off with a condom, use one

[Cajun2Step]

Group sex in any setting involves risk. You must decide if it is worth the risk.
Our first session was about 6 to 1 vaginal over oral. Was it worth it. Hell yes other than not being able to walk for a few days. You ever heard about being rode hard and put away wet. This was one of those times.

Bottom line is always trust your own gut feelings. Never go for it if either of you have any reservations.

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Enjoy it when you make time to play.