How to handle different interest levels and approaches...

[LOL_OMG]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

One sentence:

"We play together only, and I'm afraid we do not have a four-way match".

I'm with the Fuse here. Doesn't work for everyone? It's over. I've had a woman in a club come up to me and say "hey your husband is hot...think you're interested in mine?" (and she points him out) I mean...how cool is that.

Mrs.

[metroman]

Originally Posted by DigginIt

Totally disagree here but I should have clarified my perspective. I totally understand your point. I just want to clarify mine. My point assumes that the couple is there together and not fluttering around like singles. If you see a couple there together, it should be assumed until you get to know them that they are there to play as a couple.

In that sense:

If you two are together at the club and it's obvious you are a couple there together ... It is COMPLETELY NOT ACCEPTABLE, to approach an OBVIOUS couple with any expectations of playing ONLY with one half of that couple. My wife will kick your ass if you lead her on and completely ignore me.

Swinging, to a majority of people, is about them as a couple. For anyone to assume they can play with one part of a couple, not knowing them or their rules is rude and disrespectful. Period!!!

.

[B]Wow ! Speaking as a guy who doesn't want to be seen as "that creepy guy" - my wife and I are both social & outgoing, hang together, go to a club "for each other", not afraid to state our guidelines early in; so, What are you ladies viewing as too aggressive? ie, I'm happy to ask for an "Ok" before advancing unless it's just totally obvious there is chemistry. If my wife is dancing and I ask someone to dance; would you prefer the husband be asked for permission before talking to the Mrs? We are soft swap same room. I'm afraid I may have been offensive w/o realizing it in the past at times - Please talk "TO" me vs about me so "I get it" (thanks). Also, when the Mrs and I have locked eyes (interest) & I approach husband & he says "Oh, we're leaving in 5 min" and they're still there an hour later - Is that just a "Not interested" in disguise? We are neat in appearance, clean, well groomed. Always looking to learn ![/B

[DigginIt]

I think if you get around all of the back and fourth banter , common sense and respect are the rule for the day.

You would have to see my wife and I at the club. We are all over each other and with occasional kissing and hugging up on others we know as they pass by but you can tell we are together and we are rarely apart for more than a few moments here and there. We have never had anyone come up and approach us outside of a couples approach although I did have someone corner me this weekend but that is another story

Due to the nature of our relationship and how we behave, I just don't ever see that scenario happening but never say never right?

On the opposite end of the spectrum:

We have two couples we are friends with, if you didn't know them, you would not even know they were together. They know most everyone, they are kissing and hugging up on everyone. Using my earlier description, they flutter around like singles. In that case, if you made eye contact and they returned it then, absolutely, ask them to dance. They will either say yes or no and in this scenario, you would be the creepy guy if you just assumed you could join in .