I felt bad as I could not perform as well as I would have liked

[fredsgirl]

I agree with alot of the other people, she sounds pretty selfish to me. Sounds like you did all you could. She should have done the same. Sex isn't just penetration, remember we all have tongues and fingers, sometimes that is more exciting. Maybe you could remain friends with them, but I wouldn't swing with them again. Their loss!

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by fredsgirl

I agree with alot of the other people, she sounds pretty selfish to me. Sounds like you did all you could. She should have done the same. Sex isn't just penetration, remember we all have tongues and fingers, sometimes that is more exciting. Maybe you could remain friends with them, but I wouldn't swing with them again. Their loss!

After the message she left on my wife's phone I don't think my wife wants to maintain any type of contact. We do have mutual friends, so we'll be nice if we happen to see them.

[Vjklander]

Well, if you have heard of emotional vampires, maybe she is just a sexual vampire. She doesn't really care about anyone else. As long as she is getting hers, fine. If she doesn't, she goes all Cleopatra. I'd just drop them. Sorry, well, not even sorry, just don't need the drama.

[SaSsyNsWeEt]

We have found that a simple way to keep this situation from happening is for all 4 to play on the same bed, or in the same room, at the same time. That way you and your partner can have a signal of some sort if things just aren't going right, and one couple wont "finish" before the others. Best of luck!!

[qreskupl7476]

Happens to the best of us, I wouldn't sweat it. If she does, then I would say, as someone else mentioned, she's thinking too much. She'll either get over it or die pissed, no reason for you to get all uptight about it or you'll risk making the problem worse. It was likely a one time thing, and it sounds to me like you had a good excuse. I'm a lot younger than you are and I'm not on my A game all the time either. Not even with my wife, let alone with playmates when the pressure level is considerably higher. We all have our good and bad days, I say chalk it up as one of the bad ones and move on to more that are good bro.

On a side note, I think things like this happen as a result of having the "wrong" attitude, and I think that's the case with the gal in question. My wife and I swing in order to add to what WE have, not because we're looking for something better, or even equal, only different. We've ran into people that ARE looking for replacements, or at least that show every outward sign of such, and we're gradually learning as we become more experienced, how to see and avoid such situations. Swinging to us is just foreplay, something to get us that much more revved up for each other later. That's not to say that we haven't had some good times with playmates, but that attitude keeps us from feeling pressured, or putting pressure on, anyone that we choose to play with. If a playmate is doing an awesome job, then great. If a playmate is having a bad night but tries anyway, great. Either way we know that when we get home we'll have plenty to talk about and chalk it up as another great adventure in our naughty little secret. We leave the "bad" list for the times that caused serious drama. Fortunately there hasn't been a lot of those.

[LOL_OMG]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

I may be overthinking it, but that's what I do.

Oh hunny we have so done that many times. Meet a couple over drinks...have a great time...plan to meet again, and never see them again. Meet up with a couple and play, everyone is attracted to each other and have a great time...and it's kind of over. We're like... what the hell did we do?

Basically it comes down to not thinking about it. If it didn't work for them for whatever reason (maybe she got a corn on her toe and thinks maybe you saw it!) it's all good. The best part is finding a couple who fit that niche you're looking for...whatever it may be. It's not as easy as it sounds

Mrs.

[exploringRM]

My wife did wind up talking to the other husband this past week. He had no idea his wife called my wife, and apparently they were at odds with each other over the whole thing. It is what we though, that the other wife just does not like it when her husband has more (perceived) fun than her.

My wife explained to the other guy that we are in this for fun, not looking to find replacements and are also not looking to be involved in stress/drama as that is not fun! The way we left it is that we will not play as couples anymore, perhaps at a house party (we have mutual friends), my wife and he might get together provided his wife has fun as well. I don't think I want to play with the other woman, just can't past the whole thing in my mind and no sexual turn-on anymore.

[qreskupl7476]

Been there too, it sucks, but it's reality for some people. We should all take it as a lesson, selfish behavior runs the risk of ripping someone else's mojo out and stomping on it. It doesn't accomplish anything, except maybe making asses of ourselves or cheating ourselves out of a good time. Life's too short to take so seriously, just kick back and enjoy the ride I say.

You're not the one missing out, she is.

Mr. Q

[snapps]

Good story. I wouldnt think too much on it, as you said you are 50, was bound to happen sooner rather than later. Let the good times roll!