HELP need advice from you pro's...first MFM...friend, coworker?

[josmonkey80]

Hi, my bf has wanted to do a mfm for a while now. we have always been an openly sexual couple so its trying to decide if i want this or not that is the issue.
after 6 months or more of dicussion i decided to tell him i would like to give it a try. He asked me who i would like to do this with and there is my problem.
he said we could do it with one of his friends or anyone i choose.
i do think one of his friends is attractive but i dont want this to ruin their friendship. so there is a guy i work with that would be a good partner, he is cute, polite and wouldnt be over baring. i told him 3 weeks ago we would do it this weekend but still havent made up my mind as to who to pick! so is one of his friends the best bet? or someone he doesnt know? or both? is a mfmm too much for our first time?

also, i dont really know how to go about this? any tips on how to actually do this ? or should i just rent a movie and learn myself? hehe.

any advice would be great, thank you.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by josmonkey80

Hi, my bf has wanted to do a mfm for a while now. we have always been an openly sexual couple so its trying to decide if i want this or not that is the issue.
after 6 months or more of dicussion i decided to tell him i would like to give it a try. He asked me who i would like to do this with and there is my problem.
he said we could do it with one of his friends or anyone i choose.
i do think one of his friends is attractive but i dont want this to ruin their friendship. so there is a guy i work with that would be a good partner, he is cute, polite and wouldnt be over baring. i told him 3 weeks ago we would do it this weekend but still havent made up my mind as to who to pick! so is one of his friends the best bet? or someone he doesnt know? or both? is a mfmm too much for our first time?

also, i dont really know how to go about this? any tips on how to actually do this ? or should i just rent a movie and learn myself? hehe.

any advice would be great, thank you.

First...friends and co-workers are very, VERY, rarely a good mix when it comes to threesomes.

Second...when it comes to picking someone for a threesome it should NEVER be just one half of the couples decision as to who the third will be...it should be a joint decision.

Third...Even though you say the two of you have discussed this for six months...I think you need to take a bit more time, discuss a bit more and do a bit more research.

You've found a great resource for learning about the swinging lifestyle. Bring your boyfriend here with you and explore it together.

to the Board.


Teresa

[sweet_tna]

Hi, there, and first of all

So you want to give MFM a try, and now you've got to find that second guy. Before you do, you and your boyfriend should sit down and talk about this. What do YOU want out of the encounter? What does HE want out of it? What do each of you think you'd be comfortable with (kissing, oral, condom use, anal, etc)?

I second TNT's statement about friends and coworkers being a poor choice for this and that ya'll should do a bit more research about the lifestyle before proceeding. Take a look around the board here, and encourage your boyfriend to do so, too. Talk about what you've learned.

Best of luck to ya'll,

=)

[Trace Ekies]

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

You have, without a doubt, found the single greatest source of quality information regarding your wants and wishes. Please explore and feel free to ask all the questions you have...we hope to be helpful.

To your question...please consider the information provided by the posters ahead of me...they, and many others, have thru previous posts and questions we've asked directly made seemingly difficult questions simple and straightforward.

My simple input is that you should swing with swingers. You've come here looking for experience which is wise...playing with experience is the most fun you'll ever have.

mfmm? You go girl! Mrs. Ekies operates well in a multi-male environment. It may work for you after much communication with you and hubby. I hope that you come to find out soon. Pun intended.

Trace

[JustAskJulie]

All the advice you've already gotten is excellent. I would only add one thing. Something like this is not where you should be deciding at the last minute because you SAID it would be this weekend. You should not back yourself into a corner in this way. Take some time and think about it. Consider what others have already said about both friends and co-workers and read some of the other threads here (there is an archive on both topics) regarding playing with friends or co-workers. Then talk some more about what you both want and the possibilities of it and decide together who would be best.

Just because you said this weekend, doesn't mean it has to be.

[Meetussoon]

Our first swinging experience, after lots of talk between ourselves and chats with swingers online was a mfm. Experienced guy, nice, polite and willing to sit in a restaurant and talk over drinks, without any expectations, and see what develops.

We ended up in a hotel room and Marie getting some of the best fucking of her life (up to that date). And, we have not looked back since. Because it was mfm, it was a good measure of my reactions, feelings, issues, jealousy etc. Which, thankfully, were none. We then found an experienced older couple to guide us both in our adventures with couples and multiple couples parties. Thanks Chuck and Patty.

There are quality singles on this website and others, be patient enough to find them. Work, friends, etc. mixing is dicey at best even for veterans.

And, always trust your instincts/gut. Even though your new, your instincts related to you, your BF, and people in general should be trusted.

Tom

[truckerbuddy]

Oh hell .. get drunk and go for it.. you can have all the regrets later

>>> OR <<<< The two of you can set down as a couple and find a playmate together, for me thats the BEST WAY.. if you are unsure about anything. you need to back up and re-explore what you are doing and feeling. IS this what you want to do . never do anything for anyone that you have any questions about. If you do this just for him :nono: the regrets will hit you like a brick.. IF this is something you want, have fun.

best of luck to you