I want to swing (as a couple) with a married woman...

Rob · 06-16-2009, 11:47 AM

I recently met a woman, ok a married woman, and have developed a sexual relationship with her.

I've told her about my past swinging experiences, and she seems interested in persuing the lifestyle (well she's interested in threesomes I should say). How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners?

And I know, most of you will think this is a disaster waiting to happen and you're probably right.

But I'd still be curious to hear your thoughts.

**fun4Ds** · 06-16-2009, 12:16 PM

Why not present this to the womans husband, then have a threesome ?

Edison Carter · 06-16-2009, 02:26 PM

This reminds me of what Robert Downey Jr said to the Judge about his inability to break his drug addictions: "It's as if I have a loaded gun in my mouth and I like the taste of the metal."

I think you and Robert have a lot more in common than a name.

Her husband is not just some guy. He's another human being. Remember that. Cheating sex is the most destructive form of sexual expression I have seen and you will not get around that.

Gorgegon · 06-16-2009, 02:26 PM

Enjoy it while you wait for the "disaster" to happen..... and then deal with it.

Trace Ekies · 06-16-2009, 02:37 PM

So, let me get this straight...you want us to help you figure out a way to help the both of you cheat some more? At least for me, never.

BTW...swinging does NOT involve cheating. Find a different word for your "Unusual Situation". Swinging is ours.

Trace

LikeMinds321 · 06-16-2009, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob

How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners?

"Hello, I'm Rob, I'm single. This is my friend 'Sally,' she's married. Would you like to play with us?"

If a couple or single you approach would hear this, and if they were concerned about whether you were cheating or had approval from her husband to swing together, then they'd ask further questions. If people don't care, you'll find out soon enough, then you may have a chance of hooking up.

Swingers and cheaters cohabit the Lifestyle. Some swingers tolerate the cheaters, most do not.

Rob, it's up to you to decide how truthful you will be with swingers.

LM

sweet_tna · 06-16-2009, 03:08 PM

Well, if you're honest and tell potential playmates you told us, then at least they can make an informed choice about what they'd be getting themselves into. Most folks in the lifestyle avoid cheaters like the plague, and that's what you and this woman are doing.

I hope, for the husband's sake, that ya'll are as honest with him as you're being with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

norcalplay · 06-16-2009, 03:09 PM

I am sure some in the life style started playing together to avoid cheating. Playing together is just that, cheating leads nowhere.

Dave_kat · 06-16-2009, 08:51 PM

You're wanting to swing while having an affair with a married woman - have you lost your marbles on this one?

You're probably already trying to sneak around to gather time to be together to begin with, and then you want to add scheduling more people into the fun?

And then finding a couple to accept the cheating?

Good luck on that, just let us know when the shotgun starts putting some double-ought into the mix as well so we can be out of the country.

exploringRM · 06-16-2009, 09:34 PM

Not passing judgment, as I know people are at times unhappy in relationships, but our profile specifically says we will not play with couples where they are married but not to each other. And it's less of a moral high ground to just avoiding any potential for drama or even worse somehow winding up in a domestic violence situation.

Rob · 06-16-2009, 10:21 PM

Hmmm... I kinda figured some people wouldn't look too fondly on this situation... Obviously, it's complicated. Her husband isn't really interested in her and doesn't care what she does. She's unhappily married and in a non-sexual marriage. This is her way of still getting that without breaking up here home (ie children).

**fun4Ds** · 06-16-2009, 10:26 PM

Does he know about you ?

Tell me how you can guarantee OUR safety.

slevin · 06-16-2009, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob

Hmmm... I kinda figured some people wouldn't look too fondly on this situation... Obviously, it's complicated. Her husband isn't really interested in her and doesn't care what she does. She's unhappily married and in a non-sexual marriage. This is her way of still getting that without breaking up here home (ie children).

Typical crap excuse. The kids will know how unhappy their marriage is and it's worse, than if they got a divorce and were both happy. The fact that lots of people buy into that kind of a crappy excuse just perpetuates it. If you want to cheat with her and it doesn't bother you thats fine, just don't make excuses for it to try and make it ok with anyone else

Rob · 06-16-2009, 11:14 PM

Thanks to those who offered reasonable advice. To the rest of you who consider yourself all high and mighty, I suggest you examine your own lives before you judge others.

I consider this thread closed from my perspective.

**Alura** · 06-17-2009, 11:30 AM

I'm sorry you didn't hear what you wanted to hear, Rob. My best to you and your friend. May you both stay out of harm's way.

Mr. Alura

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06-16-2009, 11:47 AM	#1 (permalink)
Rob Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 75 Location: Midwest, USA Status: Male	I want to swing (as a couple) with a married woman... I recently met a woman, ok a married woman, and have developed a sexual relationship with her. I've told her about my past swinging experiences, and she seems interested in persuing the lifestyle (well she's interested in threesomes I should say). How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? And I know, most of you will think this is a disaster waiting to happen and you're probably right. But I'd still be curious to hear your thoughts.

06-16-2009, 12:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
fun4Ds Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,489 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun	Re: Unusual situation? Why not present this to the womans husband, then have a threesome ?
	Last edited by fun4Ds; 06-16-2009 at 01:16 PM.

06-16-2009, 02:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Edison Carter Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 734 Location: Naperville, Il Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:EdisonCarter	Re: Unusual situation? This reminds me of what Robert Downey Jr said to the Judge about his inability to break his drug addictions: "It's as if I have a loaded gun in my mouth and I like the taste of the metal." I think you and Robert have a lot more in common than a name. Her husband is not just some guy. He's another human being. Remember that. Cheating sex is the most destructive form of sexual expression I have seen and you will not get around that.

06-16-2009, 02:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
Gorgegon Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 23 Location: El Paso	Re: Unusual situation? Enjoy it while you wait for the "disaster" to happen..... and then deal with it.

06-16-2009, 02:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Trace Ekies Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 489 Location: Central Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:swyngcpl	Re: Unusual situation? So, let me get this straight...you want us to help you figure out a way to help the both of you cheat some more? At least for me, never. BTW...swinging does NOT involve cheating. Find a different word for your "Unusual Situation". Swinging is ours. Trace

06-16-2009, 03:08 PM	#7 (permalink)
sweet_tna Being good is overrated Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,221 Location: Poconos, PA Status: The boss of Mr. Sweet Swing Lifestyle Name:Sweet_tna	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? Well, if you're honest and tell potential playmates you told us, then at least they can make an informed choice about what they'd be getting themselves into. Most folks in the lifestyle avoid cheaters like the plague, and that's what you and this woman are doing. I hope, for the husband's sake, that ya'll are as honest with him as you're being with a bunch of strangers on the internet.
	__________________ I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than heaven wondering what it's like.

06-16-2009, 03:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
norcalplay Registered Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8 Location: San Francisco Status: Married Couple	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? I am sure some in the life style started playing together to avoid cheating. Playing together is just that, cheating leads nowhere.

06-16-2009, 08:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dave_kat Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 291 Location: Savannah, Ga Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Dave_kat	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? You're wanting to swing while having an affair with a married woman - have you lost your marbles on this one? You're probably already trying to sneak around to gather time to be together to begin with, and then you want to add scheduling more people into the fun? And then finding a couple to accept the cheating? Good luck on that, just let us know when the shotgun starts putting some double-ought into the mix as well so we can be out of the country.
	__________________ Reality is based on perception, therefore everyone has their own reality.

06-16-2009, 09:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
exploringRM Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 850 Location: York, PA Status: Couple - he posts/reads Swing Lifestyle Name:hereforfunrm	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? Not passing judgment, as I know people are at times unhappy in relationships, but our profile specifically says we will not play with couples where they are married but not to each other. And it's less of a moral high ground to just avoiding any potential for drama or even worse somehow winding up in a domestic violence situation.

06-16-2009, 10:21 PM	#11 (permalink)
Rob Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 75 Location: Midwest, USA Status: Male	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? Hmmm... I kinda figured some people wouldn't look too fondly on this situation... Obviously, it's complicated. Her husband isn't really interested in her and doesn't care what she does. She's unhappily married and in a non-sexual marriage. This is her way of still getting that without breaking up here home (ie children).

06-16-2009, 10:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
fun4Ds Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,489 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? Does he know about you ? Tell me how you can guarantee OUR safety.

06-16-2009, 11:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
Rob Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 75 Location: Midwest, USA Status: Male	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? Thanks to those who offered reasonable advice. To the rest of you who consider yourself all high and mighty, I suggest you examine your own lives before you judge others. I consider this thread closed from my perspective.

06-17-2009, 11:30 AM	#15 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,144 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: How do we present our situation to potential swinging partners? I'm sorry you didn't hear what you wanted to hear, Rob. My best to you and your friend. May you both stay out of harm's way. Mr. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

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