pandora's box...jumping back in after a break?

I was wondering if anyone has any experience with closing Pandora’s box? Long story short my Wife and i have played a few times and always had fun. No bad feelings or jealousy. We were supposed to meet up with some friends last weekend who we hadn’t seen in a few months. Anyways, my Wife says 3 days before hand she isn’t feeling it. She just has no urge to play with anyone. She told me maybe in the future we can play, but right now it's not going to happen. After she told me I explained to her that I am cool with it and understand. We ended up having a fun weekend just the two of us. I guess my question is does anyone have and experience with stopping and then jumping back in after a break? i have have feeling it maybe the end of road for our playtime with other couples.

[realcplub2]

First off, welcome.. please instead of lurking, sign on the board.

Now to the crux of your question, while there is no way to un ring a bell.. being upfront and honest, is better than dropping off the face of the earth

When you are ready, start over again... people find there way in and out of the lifestyle all the time

[LFM2]

First of all, welcome to the board!! I'm not sure if you've posted here before, but in case you haven't,

Just because she isn't in the groove one weekend doesn't mean she won't be in the groove for the next. I sometimes have the same feelings. We've both been so busy that we seriously haven't had time for others, much less ourselves, and it was great the other night when we both sat in the hot tub and just connected back together. Just the two of us. While we love others to play with, sometimes, it's important to connect with just each other for a while.

[JustAskJulie]

Sometimes it takes a little while to work your way back into things. A lot has to do with what you haven't told us and that is why did you take a break? What else was going on in your life?

For us, we've been forced to take a break for the last few months and we fully expect to go back into things slowly, not as slow as we started, but hell the way things have been around our house lately we still have to get our own lives back to normal, so while we would love to see some of our friends again in the meantime it may be a little while before we are ready to play again... simply because we need OUR relationship to be back to where it was first (emotionally and sexually).

[BiloxiCouple]

I think most swingers who have been around have either taken breaks and some wish they could.

It's not called, "getting back into the swing of things" for nothing

[jjtrindc]

Totally agree. For us, the lifestyle sparked such an upswing of activity between us, that we had take a break because my wife got pregnant...lol. That was a long break. In many ways, when we were ready to get back into the lifestyle, our interest was stronger than ever. Of course, with two kids and two careers, we just can't jump back in as we would like but doing our best when those rare free weekends to pop up!

[Chicup]

With our have kids breaks I think our off time has been longer than our on.

As for if you are done with it all, you need to find out what her motivation for being done is. Is it just being blah, bored with the idea, maybe not very horny, perhaps self image if shes gained weight, or even shes not really that attracted to the other male in th couple, etc. Lots of things can turn a woman from raving sexual she beast into tepid.

[fun4Ds]

It's been a little while since we have been out .

I'm worried someone will get hurt, our first, next time out .

We have no intentions of playing with an inexperienced couple/single on that night !!!

[WildMiCouple]

As has been mentioned, breaks are pretty common. We usually take one over the Summer. After a few months off, we're usually ready to go out and have some fun at the dances. As far as your wife, sounds like you need to talk with her about it. Could be just this particular couple.....or she just doesn't enjoy it anymore. She's the only one who can answer that. But if she just needs a break, it's pretty easy to jump right back in no matter how long it is

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

I'm worried someone will get hurt, our first, next time out .

Just don't poke anybody's eye out with that thing


Brett

[dnmnms]

We have been on a couple breaks in the short time we have been in the LS. Once to frustration being newbies and having a difficult time finding exactly what we were looking for...then due to me getting new TA TA's..
Course between kids, work and general life issues I think we are occasionals rather than anything else LOL.
We both have the understanding that the other has the green light to go solo if wanted however neither has ventured.
Its possible that like another poster said...she could change her mind tomorrow. Sometimes us chics change our minds like we change our hair color.

Melody

[Malachista]

I'm currently also on a break, due to swing burn-out and libido killing meds.
I tried to get back last week, but the date turned out to be nothing more then lukewarm.
Right now I don't plan to jump back in on a certain date, but if a weekend comes and I feel like going out to a club, I will go, and when I am there I will see if there are people present that I feel attracted to, otherwise I will just have a nice evening in a great atmosphere.

Sure, I don't know what the reason for you and your wife is, but just let things happen.
Take a break if you feel like it, jump back in when you feel like it and in the meantime get another activity you can share and have fun with

[ViSexual]

There's usually a reason why someone wants out.

My wife could never deal with the day after. When we were swinging in the seventies she always enjoyed the night but not the day after. After five couples over a two or three year period she said stop, and we did.

About ten years ago she agreed to try again. It was a lot of fun talking, planning, and playing over the Internet with others. But, when we acually met a couple she freaked.

Now I have to live with the knowlege it's just not going to happen again.

[The Fuse]

Sure, people get in and out all the time, for different reasons. It is very important, in my opinion, that you know why she wants to stop... or why she simply doesn't have the desire, before you start thinking about the "starting back up" part. Talk to each other. Be honest. Sometimes the real reasons are surprising.