I feel left out, she's so in the moment and unaware of my presence...

[TNT]

There's a saying that goes...If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right.

Is it possible to fully enjoy yourself in any given situation, if your attention is divided? We don't think so.

Does it mean that when your partner is 100% into what they are doing with someone else that they have totally forgotten about you? No. They're just living in the moment. Nothing wrong with that.

Although neither of us can remember feeling like you state you have, we're sure we probably did. In trying to analyze why it wasn't made into a big deal for/from either of us we've concluded that both of us must have realized on some level and instantaneously that "Duh, of course he/she doesn't know I'm here because he/she is in the moment" and, THAT'S what we're here for...we want the other to totally enjoy themselves, 100%.

Would it have been fair for either of us to have taken our anger of "feeling left out", out on the other for them doing exactly what we wanted them to? Of course not...that would have been counterproductive to the reason we got into swinging.

If continuing in swinging is what you really want to do, and it's because you WANT your partner to totally, 100%, enjoy themselves and they totally, 100%, want you to enjoy yourself, then you must come to terms with this feeling and learn to let go.

Throughout our years of swinging there have been numerous, numerous times that either I have walked in and seen Ted totally in the moment and him not knowing I was in the room and him walking in and me not knowing he was in the room. As stated previously, we obviously figured out instantaneously the first time this happened how to deal with it as neither of us can remember it being a problem.

When this happens there are things we do...
1. We either quietly sit and watch...taking great pleasure in the others pleasure at the time.
2. Pick up a camera and start taking pictures.
3. Find something/someone else to occupy us.
4. Slide in and make ourselves known in the most nonintrusive way we can...i.e. a hand ran gently down the back, arm, leg, through the hair is a nice intrusion.

There has never been a time that either of us have been so in the moment that the other "butting in" was not welcomed. Because we know that we're always welcome is probably the reason jealousy has never been a problem for us.

Did you feel at the time that your GF was "in the moment" that you wouldn't have been welcomed to have made yourself known? Or, did you just feel pouty because you weren't the center of her attention at the time? Figuring out why exactly you felt the way you did is what will help you deal with the feeling.


Teresa

[HotMoCpl]

A woman having sex with more than one partner....c'mon now. That is pretty powerful stuff. Hey, enjoy it!