Taking one for the team: How long can this go on?

[jid2008]

Thanks again everyone.


The biggest problem, I think, is that my wife has actually become friends with this girl. We even have kids the same age so my wife and her get together and just hang out without any play. We have went out with them once that didn't result in play. The first 2 times it was only soft swap. The first time I was more into it because it was new and the excitement was there. Now I do it because if I hinted that I wasn't interested, my wife is going to be super pissed. She is really in to the girl.

Originally Posted by fun4ds

I'm just curious.

Are you actually turning down women with nicer asses or at least women that do turn you on sexually, because your wife is so "into" this couple for now ?

Or

Do you feel your wife and this couple are holding you back from pursuing new playmates ?

No, we haven't turned down any couples, we just haven't found any others that we have clicked with. This is the only couple we have played with.

And no, I also don't think they are holding me back from pursuing new playmates.

Originally Posted by iapr

There is something about this paragraph that really troubles me. Most problems in swinging are not from other people or from swinging per se but rather from dynamics from within the couple. Taking one for the team should never be an issue and it should never be a negotiation point. If one party does not want to play then there is no play and you move on..period.

That fact that she threw her willingness to take one for the team in your face is not a good sign at all. Taking one for the team should never be thought of as ammunition or something one does to garner favors to be cashed in at a later date.

The fact that she is harboring resentment and disappointment and holding it against you in this is also troubling. I fear there is more underlying problems here than some gal with no ass and those underlying problems are probably from within. Search for and address those issues and taking one for the team shall become a nonissue.

You're right, it shouldn't be a negotation point and it shouldn't be ammunition to be cashed in at a later date...but, we both like swinging, a lot, and it has made our sex life 10,000x better. There is a lot more affection between us.

As far as the additional underlying problems, I'm not being sarcastic at all (seriously) when I say that I appreciate your analytical skills, but I don't really think that's it. I just think my wife really, really is turned on by this girl and I'm just simply not.

As far as planning on cashing it in later, I guess that's exactly what I've been doing. I just figure that if I am going to continue seeing this couple with her for her pleasure, when I find a nice looking girl I am attracted to, if the guy isn't a spitting image of Brad Pitt, I don't want them to be discounted immediately.

[fun4Ds]

How do you feel about this new closeness your wife has toward this new friend ?

Do you think they are developing a bisexual relationship ?

What do you think about these new friends relationship ?

Do you live close to them ? If so how close ? I mean are we talking neighbors ?

Would you be willing to let them play without you ?

[realcplub2]

jid2008 I dunno, If the lights were out, or you were blindfolded, and couldnt see WHO it was between your legs, working you over, Would you get wood? Would you get off?

Your description of your encounters thus far, the only thing you have pointed out thats a downer is her lack of ass..

Now, given the previous encounters we soft swap.. I can understand to a degree with the "whats the point" attitude, but they want to go to full swap..

If the guy headed south on his wife bothers you.. make sure you are there first.. again they want to go full swap.. for all you know, she practices Kegals all day and half the night.. Perhaps sliding in would be the pen ultimate experience..

I am not saying take one for the team.. If she was the SEA HAG, or BROOMHILDA, I would see your point.. But so far the only one you mention is her missing junk in the trunk..

[Curiosity0725]

i'd say no one should ever "take one for the team". if you're not 100% into it then you shouldn't be "forced" into doing it because the other is willing/wanting to do it.

[2inVT]

What Pepper said, above, is exactly right.

Another point, though - Neither Mr2 or I want to BE the one taken for the team. We don't want to fuck people who are not interested in fucking us. So, from the other couple's point of view, you might want to think of that. It's pretty insulting to them.

[Suncouple]

Find another couple with a woman you find attractive and a guy that finds her attractive.