This guy wont give up!!

[applevenus]

for what its worth:
don't get physical - that will not lead to a solution, it will lead to more problems


ignore ignore ignore

without oxygen the fire cannot burn

[sweet_tna]

Chalk up another vote for the BLOCK and IGNORE side. Eventually, he'll tire of being ignored and latch onto a new target. But any further contact with him will only encourage him. Sending or saying anything to the wife is an invitation for further drama, and possible escalation on his part.

Best of luck to ya'll . . .

=)

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by it'sso

I'm sure to get shot down on this, but why rule out a physical altercation with the guy if he persists in this behavior? Some people will only respond to pain when all else fails in delivering a message.

Because physical altercations rarely end with any positive benefits. Not to mention it's ILLEGAL.

Cop: "And why were you beating this man up?"
You: "Because we're swingers, and he wouldn't stop talking about how much he wanted to fuck my wife"

Yeah, that's going to go over REAL well

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by it'sso

I'm sure to get shot down on this, but why rule out a physical altercation with the guy if he persists in this behavior? Some people will only respond to pain when all else fails in delivering a message.

Because this usually results in an assault charge, and not everyone is willing to accept a criminal record in order to solve a problem. Furthermore, if he's bigger than you, tougher than you, and also turns out to be a gun owner, the result can be even more disastrous.

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by it'sso

I'm sure to get shot down on this, but why rule out a physical altercation with the guy if he persists in this behavior? Some people will only respond to pain when all else fails in delivering a message.

Because it could get you locked up.

Not sure about the law in VA, but in PA, this could be considered a "Domestic Violence" situation because of the semi-sexual nature of the prior relationship. And if you go beat the snot out of the guy and he calls the cops, guess who's getting locked up and more. And the penalties for Domestic Violence are quite severe.

And, regardless of their prior bad behavior, now you're the bad guy in the eyes of the law.

My advice: Ignore them. Simply don't answer them. If possible, change your phone numbers (most phone companies will do this for free if you explain the change is because of harassment). Additionally, many phone services have a special * code (not *69... something else) that will log the last received call as a "harassing call" with the phone company. This may be useful if you wish to file future legal action against them.

Ask your internet provider if you can get their e-mail blocked at the server level. Also, if they send you anything in the snail mail, don't even open it. Write "REFUSED - RETURN TO SENDER" in big letters on the front and drop it in the mailbox.

If they keep trying to contact you, I also like the idea of sending a certified letter. Again, this may be useful for future action...

[JustAskJulie]

You've done the right thing so far. I can't blame you for wanting to present to the wife the truth of what is going on and I'd also be tempted to do so. If he is still contacting you, you might want to put that out there. "Leave us alone or we will ensure that your wife knows what you are up to and sees a copy of the video you made...."

[N8ture Girl]

Thanks for all the input. I thought I would update you on the new developments...
A month after posting, I was contacted once again. I told my male half and we decided to call his wife. Well well, come to find out, her stalker hubby had intercepted all the e-mails we had sent to them both (each had their own e-mail accounts) and she had no idea that we had written telling them that we didnt want to be associated any more. She also didnt get the e-mails asking for him to leave us alone. She did not know that we had returned their gift (wine, clothes..yes clothes), and she did not know about the videos.
She gave my hubby her work e-mail and asked that we send her all the correspondance that we had sent and what her husband had sent (we kept every thing he sent to us) and she also wanted the videos! She assured my hubby that he will not bother us again, and if he did, to please call the cops! She thanked us for telling her the whole story and apologized. I must say I really felt bad for her. Haven't heard a peep since.

The end.....

I know the day will come when our paths will cross again as we live 15 miles from them, they frequent the same clubs as we do, however, I will not stop going just because they are there, but it will still be awkward.

Thanks again everyone for listening and offering advice

[ncmd_couple]

Well, I'm very glad to hear that it worked out that well. I don't know that you will see him. Though you might see her! But if you see both of them, I would be pleasant to her, and give him the cold shoulder!

S

[magiriano]

Originally Posted by it'sso

I'm sure to get shot down on this, but why rule out a physical altercation with the guy if he persists in this behavior? Some people will only respond to pain when all else fails in delivering a message.

Nothing terrifies a bully like bumping into someone that's crazier than him.....
Let him know you mean business, he'll chicken out! Right now he's bullying you while hiding behind a computer screen or over the phone but stop by his place on the way to your next baseball practice......
The bigger they are the harder they fall

[tp0121]

Originally Posted by N8ture Girl

Thanks for all the input. I thought I would update you on the new developments...
A month after posting, I was contacted once again. I told my male half and we decided to call his wife. Well well, come to find out, her stalker hubby had intercepted all the e-mails we had sent to them both (each had their own e-mail accounts) and she had no idea that we had written telling them that we didnt want to be associated any more. She also didnt get the e-mails asking for him to leave us alone. She did not know that we had returned their gift (wine, clothes..yes clothes), and she did not know about the videos.
She gave my hubby her work e-mail and asked that we send her all the correspondance that we had sent and what her husband had sent (we kept every thing he sent to us) and she also wanted the videos! She assured my hubby that he will not bother us again, and if he did, to please call the cops! She thanked us for telling her the whole story and apologized. I must say I really felt bad for her. Haven't heard a peep since.

The end.....

I know the day will come when our paths will cross again as we live 15 miles from them, they frequent the same clubs as we do, however, I will not stop going just because they are there, but it will still be awkward.

Thanks again everyone for listening and offering advice

I'm glad to hear that the matter was rectified but I am sure you will not see them together at the clubs. His wife probably put a stop to their swinging.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by N8ture Girl

She gave my hubby her work e-mail and asked that we send her all the correspondance that we had sent and what her husband had sent (we kept every thing he sent to us) and she also wanted the videos! She assured my hubby that he will not bother us again, and if he did, to please call the cops! She thanked us for telling her the whole story and apologized. I must say I really felt bad for her. Haven't heard a peep since.

The end.....

Great to hear how this worked out and it sounds like you guys handled this in a great way. Hope that you don't have to run into them while you're out having fun!

[jdavisauto]

Just don't give him any kind of attention. Block him from all your web accounts, e-mails and SLS accounts. You may want to think about changing you cell number if he has it. he will get tired and move on.

[MrkLin]

Sounds like it's over, thank goodness. As others have said, I wouldn't count on seeing them together at a club for quite a while - if ever. If you do, I'd ignore them both. She'll probably be so embarrassed, she'll stay away from you, and he will probably figure that it would be hazardous to his health if he approached you. Lesson learned by all involved, hopefully.

[sweet_tna]

I'm glad to hear that this ordeal appears to be over. I sincerely doubt you'd be running into this couple at the clubs. . . their swinging days (if not their marriage) are most likely over.

If, on the off chance, you were to bump into them again, steer clear of him.

Enjoy resuming your swinging journey . . . a little wiser.

=)