It was all good...until

[Pierced-n-Proud]

G'day All,

Background: We've played with this couple many times and I think we were their first - nice folks. He and Mrs P&P are amazing to watch and have special chemistry, She & Mr P&P - never done the full swap ...probably will never happen but we manage to amuse ourselves while our partners play. Both couples insist on safe sex.

Situation:
On a recent playdate Mr playmate was running his cock over Mrs P&P's pierced clit - no penetration. From the other bed, it looked like they were fucking so I presumed, as per our guidelines a condom was already in place. Then to my surprise, Mrs P&P says I think its time for a condom. Mrs P&P has always assured me that "no unprotected cock is even going to come near this pussy". Real mood killer for me for the rest of the night.

So…with the genie was already out of the bottle I didn't want to ruin a nice time. I discussed it with Mrs P&P during the customary de-briefing...turns out I'm the only one who recognised it as a form of unprotected sex. Mrs P&P didn't disagree - just didn't realise it as she was "in the zone" at the time and I think that's the case with the playmates.
Me, I feel a little betrayed - maybe I'm over sensitive but I don't want to ruin the friendship and Mrs P&P’s pleasure. I'm not interested in who's right or wrong just looking at how to move on. Mrs P&P and I will work thru this unhappy situation 30 years of marriage gives us the tools to do so.

Questions:
I'd like to discuss it with them but we don't need the shock / horror / drama if they don't realise and I’m just not sure what their reaction will be. Don't want to affect their relationship and should I have to be the Sex Ed teacher? - but also don't want them to continue the practice with others if they don't realise as it puts them at risk too and we do care for them. Should we bring it up?

It's further complicated by the fact that they live too far away to easily have a face to face & telephone is about the only option. A face to face is at least weeks away, if not months. I would try hard to take a sensitive and level-headed approach. I'm not sure telephone is the best option but it may be our only one. Does anyone have any experience / advice?

Have I got it all wrong / am I overreacting? (quite prepared to accept this) Is non-penetrative sex really safe?

There have been problems with condoms coming off previously so one possible solution is to just ditch the whole safe sex thing, say what the hell and I'll just use a condom with Mrs P&P? But that does impact on our intimacy. Apparently they fall off larger cocks but stick like shit to a blanket to more modest sized (normal) ones

Do we just build a bridge; get Mrs P&P to have the tests and next time hope Mrs P&P learns from the experience.

We would appreciate your thoughts / advice there may be something we haven’t thought of and that’s the purpose of this forum to draw on experienced advice.

[good times]

Well, I hope this doesn't sound to blunt, but in my opinion, you are over reacting a bit. If their was no penetration then you were at no more risk than if the guy, or your wife, had touched his penis with his/her hand and then rubbed your wife's clit with the same hand. Personally, I wouldn't recommend that you try to become a sex educator with anyone if you don't personally understand how std's are transferred. And frankly, if you are worried about her getting an std in this way, then you shouldn't be touching anyone else at all.

Std's such as herpes, HPV, and some types of genital infections are transferred by skin to skin contact. Whether that contact occurs through direct penile/vaginal contact or hand to penis to vaginal contact makes no difference whatsoever. All other std's are transferred by fluid exchange and would be highly unlikely to be transferred in this way.

[realcplub2]

Ok.. as Good Times said.. its a bit over the top, yes, But I do see your point too, Esp if he was at it for a bit. The pre cum is the unspoken topic of concern.. That and the piercing..

How long has she had the piercing? Is it fully healed? If it has, then you truly can relax.. the likelyhood of fluid exchange is greatly limited.

As far as whats next, relax and wait.. discuss it further in person.. It might be a BUZZ KILL, but if you both feel it was a rule infraction then.. it needs to be clarified..

[aster]

sounds like you did already bring it up to her, and discussed it and while she may not agree, she's aware of your concerns. i don't think contacting her about the matter is necessary.

because it's not like she's going to tie down your husband and force him to skip the condom again. before playing again, reiterate to your husband that even for just that close contact you'd prefer there to be protection. if you trust your husband's ability to be responsible in these situations, then that should be enough...make it *HIS* responsibility, not hers, and then don't worry about it, because you trust him.

[Pierced-n-Proud]

Thanks guys,
I do appreciate your input. My concerns were with STDs transmitted through skin to skin contact. You correctly point out that this has to be an acceptable risk as the essence of sexual pleasure is physical contact. I'm also as sure as I can be that our playmates are D & D free.

Yep, I can accept I over reacted and I'm glad I didn't say anything at the playdate. It's always better to let people think you're an idiot than open your mouth and prove it. Too late for me with Mrs P&P but I suspect she already knew but she loves me regardless. Realcplub2 the piercing is fully healed so no problems there. It was a rule infraction but maybe the rules need to be re looked at.

good times, I do understand how STDs are transmitted sorry if I gave the impression I didn't...and I'm even pretty sure where babies come from!

What's next? Apologise to Mrs P&P,chill and enjoy, and be thankful there are forums such as this. Thanks again for your wise counsel.

[good times]

Originally Posted by Pierced-n-Proud

and I'm even pretty sure where babies come from!

Yea, me too, that is why I run like hell whenever I see one of those damn storks.

[BiloxiCouple]

It's legal to hunt storks down here on a baited field.