Turning a MFM into a MFMF

[mkrinatl]

Here is my problem. I have a good friend who has joined the wife and I for mfm sex about 5 times over the last 5 years. Very hard to get a regular thing going as we live some distance from each other and both of us have family responsibilities.

His wife doesnt know but he wants me and her to get together while he is with my wife in the same room. I am all for it. She is georgous like my wife but his is just not biting on his suggestions from both him and me. My wife is cool with it as long as she continues to get her dose of mfm. Which to be honest is not enough for either of our liking or my buddies.

So my question is, what do we do to get his wife into the action? We sometimes meet up for dinner and all four have a great time, always pairing off with the others spouse and there is mild flirtation between her and me but nothing to say she would go through with it.

Any ideas? Me and him talk about it all the time and just havent cracked her code yet.

Help!!

[two42lovers]

Best idea is to come clean and be honest. You say she doesn't know the three of you have been having sex, and she isn't responding to your suggestions... sounds bad. Sorry to hear about it - especially for her sake.

[fun4Ds]

So why doesen't your wife talk to his wife about this ?

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

Originally Posted by two42lovers

Best idea is to come clean and be honest. You say she doesn't know the three of you have been having sex, and she isn't responding to your suggestions... sounds bad. Sorry to hear about it - especially for her sake.

I edited the quote of his post to reflect the way I understood to be the meaning, in the sense of she knows of the MFM, but she does not know of her husband's (and friend: the OP) desire(s) to proceed into a full swap.

Then again I could be completely looney. I guess the best thing is to say MK, we need a clarification...

Originally Posted by mkrinatl

His wife doesnt know THAT he wants me and her to get together while he is with my wife in the same room. I am all for it. She is georgous like my wife but his is just not biting on his suggestions from both him and me. My wife is cool with it as long as she continues to get her dose of mfm. Which to be honest is not enough for either of our liking or my buddies.

[SJCPL1]

I think her husband should talk to her. Isn't this about communication?

[realcplub2]

I would say that depending on how "close" the wives are might be the best way to start to open the lines of honesty..

its a definate bitch of a situation, and coming clean might be a complete blow up waiting to happen. the unknown factor in all of this is, despite how your buddy "talks" you still have no way of knowing what he might or might not hace said.. or where exactly her opinion is on being in a group situation..

that brings it back around to the girl talking.. if they have any connection over the course of a afternoon, your wife can share a few hot stories, but BE NON SPECIFIC just in case.. She can also see for herslf how open to these ideas she is..

Never know, might be the fastest way thru this, or the quickest way to find out if its not in the cards..

[mkrinatl]

His wife does not know about our mfm sessions but knows her hubby is attracted to my wife and I am attracted to her. My buddy has talked to her about the 3 of us getting together like we have with my wife.

He also agrees my wife needs to be the one to make a suggestion about us all getting it on. My wife is cool either way, she is getting two cocks already but is fine watching me do her while she does him. She says, his wife is just not in to sex like she is.

I think she just needs the right situation to present itself and it will happen. She is really hot but somewhat on the prudish side.

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

I stand corrected.

The 3 of you have put his wife in quite the situation now haven't you, of which she had no choice. Who needs emenies when they have friends like the 3 of you

[knb2004]

What you are involved in is not swinging, it's cheating, and you won't find very much support here. I could be wrong, but my instinct is that you'll not very easily get the cooperation of your buddies wife, who apparently has no idea her husband is boinking your wife. The drama potential of your situation is explosive, and my suggestion is that you don't even try. Instead, cutoff this cheating relationship and if you want to, find a more appropriate outlet for swinging.

[mkrinatl]

Thanks for the replies. The mfm's have only happened once a year over 5 years. First time was the result of too much drinking of which she was a participant but too drunk to function. So dont want it to appear this is a monthly thing going on behind her back. Just the contrary, we are spending all our efforts in trying to set up the right situation to get her to join in but this time sober and functioning

Anyway, both him and I are trying to find the best way to get her to come around to his way of thinking in order to have a regular thing between all of us. He is not having luck with his suggestions so do you think she is totally against it or just is afraid to say yes.

We are not very experienced at all but there is attraction between all 4 so naturally, we both want to have fun.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by mkrinatl

Anyway, both him and I are trying to find the best way to get her to come around to his way of thinking in order to have a regular thing between all of us. He is not having luck with his suggestions so do you think she is totally against it or just is afraid to say yes.

We are not very experienced at all but there is attraction between all 4 so naturally, we both want to have fun.

You can try and justify it away, but it still boils down to the fact that you've been doing it behind her back. I'm not trying to crap on you about it though.

Hard to say whether she is totally against it or not without really knowing how he has gone about trying to introduce this to her. He could be doing a really bad job of it, she could be totally against it or she may even sense there is something more going on (even subconsciously) which is impacting her view of it. Many other options, but without knowing how he is going about it, what he is saying to her, what her reactions to it are it's tough to advise on what to do (for me at least, maybe someone else has more insight!)

[mkrinatl]

Yeah, we all agree there is not going to be anymore unless its a mfmf. I know he mentions it during sex to her and she and I will have some playful flirting. But like I said, she is not as sexual as my wife according to him. She is only interested in sex about once or twice at week tops and its him wanting it.

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

I suppose I should explain my shitty attitude / post a little better, rather than just be a dick!

Your actions indicate that as a group, the three of you, collectively place more value on personal sexual desires and gratification than the value of honesty, true friendship and integrity. No one has said "Hey what about Sally? what would she think?", until 5 years later, even at that point it's "How do we get Sally to agree so we can all have fun and < the unspoken> won't have to hide our dirty little secret any longer".

What would your wife think if the shoe was on the other foot and she was the one being treated like a mushroom? Kept in the darl and fed BS for 5 years....

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

I see you posted while I was hammering that out; good decision. Honestly though it's time to come clean and move on, there are plenty of other fish out there And for cripes sake, learn from this.

[JustAskJulie]

I would suggest that he be honest with her about your past indiscretions... completely honest and in doing so let her know that he is sorry that he allowed this to happen with out her knowledge, but that what he (and you guys) would really like is for all 4 of you to get together.

I, personally, don't believe that just turning this into a foursome without telling her about the past threesomes will make this right. The only way is to be completely honest with her and allow her to make her decision with ALL of the facts on the table. If you choose to be dishonest and finally get her to agree to a foursome, she'd have to be pretty stupid to not pick up on the fact that the three of you already have some experience together.