jumping straight to it

[southerncouple3]

Wife met a guy on line last night she seemed to just want to jump Right into it. Setup a meet this weekend and just come home and do it.
Should I let it happen this fast are take more time to get to no the guy

[sqweezer]

I will always check the guy out before he comes to MY HOME ! ! ! Folks have to be sensable about their private lives and who they are letting in to it. Granted this is a free living lifestyle but remember there is always someone out there who takes advantage of the open minded person who thinks everything is peachy. What can it hurt to take an extra day to feel someone out before you feel them up.

[theboy]

Originally Posted by southerncouple3

Wife met a guy on line last night she seemed to just want to jump Right into it. Setup a meet this weekend and just come home and do it.
Should I let it happen this fast are take more time to get to no the guy

One of the things that you should always do it 'move at the pace of the slowest partner'. If you feel like it's happening fast, it likely is. Talk to your wife, have her come up with a plan that you both feel comfortable with.

[Texasfuncouple]

totally agree with the boy!

Nothing should ever happen that both of you are not ready for.

~Texasfun

[jimnjan]

I really have to agree with sqweezer and the boy. Don't move too fast and definitely take your time...think of the worst case scenario.

[JustAskJulie]

You should both meet him and agree that you are comfortable with him before you agree to move beyond that. As for whether or not it's ok to move that fast... only if everyone is comfortable. So if you aren't comfortable, speak up.

[Pepper & Drew]

If you're asking questions about it, it means that you're not comfy with it. Trust your instincts. I'd agree to meet him, but I'd certainly let him know that you're going to wait until you're comfy to move it from a vertical meeting to a horizontal one.

Always, always go with your gut. This is something that's supposed to be fun for you. Don't let someone else dictate how you play.

Pepper

[lustylearning]

Not home, not home, not home - how about drinks and a hotel room instead - time to size up and say yes or no, if yes, then there's a neutral place to go to from there.

[ownerspet]

Both of you definitly need to form a comfort level with the guy. So I'm going to suggest at minimum that both of you meet him at a neutral place and have dinner or drinks. And I even recomend to increase your comfort level that you go beyond that initial meet and meet him one on one for a beer or to play pool and be sure you are comfortable with him. Afterall he is playing with your wife, you should be totally ok with it.

[JDApopka]

We have meet sevral guys on line we ALWAYS chat with them for a few weeks then if all still seems fine we agree to meet somewhere for a drink then she and I both decide if we are going to invite them home with us. we are very carefull and so far it has worked out fine.
Now there was one guy that we went to his place all the time.

[thedreamyone]

Okay, now my own personal thoughts on this..Sounds like your wife is all for the idea..Yes I have to agree with everyone who's said "meet the guy first on neutral ground"..Hell even when I was single I wouldn't bring a guy to my place that I didn't know nothing bout short of screen name..Even now I'm married and we're both in the Lifestyle the funny thing is that's how we've met LOL and online too..But the thing is that we talked for close to 4 hours online then another 3 hours on the phone..We met that night it was at friend's place, then we all went out later that night..So yeah him and I did happen to talk about everything literally..But then again I'm far from shy LOL
You should be comfortable with bring another guy into your relationship..Let's face it what are the limits with the guy? Is it going to be just your wife, can you watch or can you join? Personally I wouldn't bring someone to my home I didn't know from just talking to them once..Too many crazy people out there that should be under lock and key

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally Posted by southerncouple3

Wife met a guy on line last night she seemed to just want to jump Right into it. Setup a meet this weekend and just come home and do it.
Should I let it happen this fast are take more time to get to no the guy

Should you let it happen this fast? Only you can answer that one. While I agree with everyone else about not bringing a stranger you've just met into your home under ANY circumstances (if that's truly what you meant by "just come home"), it's not clear from your post whether you're asking for advice because you've just become acquainted with this particular guy, because you feel your wife is too interested in him (and/or moving too quickly), because you're feeling apprehensive, or for some other reason(s) and/or combination of them.

So, is this something you really want to do, and are you ready for it? Answer that question first. Talk to your wife about it, and make sure you both are really prepared for it. And then, if it is, you can move on to talking about the hows, whens and how quicklys.

Also, not just for the sake of playing devil's advocate, I will say that for some of us, moving quickly is exciting. Mrs. LC and I would be bored to tears (and frankly, fear becoming too emotionally involved) were we to, as has been suggested by others, chat for weeks with potential playmates or even talk on the phone for hours. That's not to say that we're right and they're wrong--far from it. It's just different strokes for different folks. We'd rather meet for drinks (no food for us before sex, thanks!) and casual conversation to size up prospective playmate(s) and then go with our gut--or not--because being spontaneous excites us. Similarly, only you know what will work for you, so you have to ask yourself--and your wife--making sure to be completely open and honest with yourself and with each other.

Finally, just an observation: I find it interesting that few people take exception with "jumping straight to it" when doing so is discussed in the context of being at a club or a house party, yet they will when it's regarding a less formal situation like yours. If anything, I'd be more apt to move slowly at a club or party for fear of getting caught up in the moment and doing something I might regret later. If you meet on neutral ground as has been discussed, knowing what you both want, with an escape plan in place in case things don't pan out, then I feel you're much more apt to make a rational decision without "heat of the moment" concerns.

And if the decision is to move ahead, remember to relax and enjoy it! That's the whole point, after all.

Good luck!

[realcplub2]

Ok just a few ideas on personal safety..

first until you can really trust someone, Never give them a tour of your home.. Because you never know if they arent taking and inventory of what stuff you have they might like to make thiers..

Second.. While we have had lust over take reason.. rushing out the door for any encounter isnt a smart idea..

Finally.. the question I would be asking is, what is it about this new person that makes her want to be in such a rush?

[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

We may be the odd ones out here, but we frequently jump straight to it, and frequently have sex with strangers. HOWEVER . . .

As others pointed out, you're not comfortable with it, else you wouldn't be asking these questions. That's a sign you both need to slow down, discuss, proceed in a manner you're both comfortable with and turned on about.

And... for many reasons, we don't entertain playmates at home. We -- or just L -- can go to their place, meet at a motel, meet and play at an adult bookstore, or meet and do it in the car. But not at home.

Bottom line, you must do what works for you both. If you're uneasy about it or if it doesn't turn you on, don't do it.

S and L, Hot Raleigh Cpl

[petra6998]

If you are not comfortable, make sure she knows this. Also I would not suggest taking a stranger to your house on the first meet. You should move at a comfortable pace. That said you 2 might go met him and everything just flows smoothly. Maybe set up a sort of signal for you 2 to be able to communicate as to a yes or no for more action.