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Situational HELP! Swinging land you in a situation you aren't quite sure how to deal with? Post the situation here and get feedback and advice from others.

MFM with a really good friend?

This is a discussion on MFM with a really good friend? within the Situational HELP! forums, part of the Swingers Topics category; Hi All First post here.We have been to clubs but have never swapped only same room sex, mfm is ...

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Old 05-30-2008, 03:14 AM   3 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1 (permalink)
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Default MFM with a really good friend?

Hi All
First post here.We have been to clubs but have never swapped only same room sex, mfm is a huge turn on for us both.
Now the question, my wife has a friend she has known for 20 yrs, we are in our forties.They have always had a sexual attraction to each other,we have never hinted to him because he lives close to us and is a really good friend,
.
WE are leaving the country for good in 6 months time....your advice please? could this be the time to invite him in?
Thank you in advance
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Old 05-30-2008, 03:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM Question

Are you concidering doing this before you go ?

Or,

Taking him with you ?
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Old 05-30-2008, 05:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM Question

There are many accounts of 3somes with a friend, ex-lover, etc. I'm 'the other guy'. I've been invited by friends actually, but have always said no. I just think that there are too many other variables and potential complications with friends, whereas with strangers, it is pretty one dimensional.
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM Question

We play with a friend in a MFM. It started out being only once in a while but has progressed to once every couple of weeks. Outside of sex, the relationship hasn't changed but now we share an intimate secret. I'm not saying that it is a good idea but we are an example of a threesome with a friend that has worked out so far.
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

Our first couple of mfm's were with a friend for us it didn't work out to well but this was also due to we were in our late twentys and he was like 22 and well he took it a little to serious and we had to stop. Since then we do it with guys we meet looking for the same
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Old 05-30-2008, 07:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

Our first couple of MFM's were with friends (two different friends). One was actually a prior lover of mine. This put me so much more at ease at a time when I was fairly nervous to begin with. I knew the men, I knew they liked me and my body and, they had respect for me and my husband and our marriage. It was my husband who asked them if they were up for it (no pun intended), and discussed with them our expectations. I understand that friends do not work for all couples, and if there are any romantic feelings I too would say to shy away from friends. However, if everyone can be comfortable with 'recreational sex' (which for us is what an MFM is all about), for us a friend was a far better choice than a stranger for those initial encounters.
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Old 05-31-2008, 07:16 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

for us a friend was a far better choice than a stranger for those initial encounters.[/quote]

When we were very active this was my favorite and my best friend was a regular partner for us! He was always gentle respectful and caring with Mrs Lonesome1 and always was so much fun to have him as part of our marriage.
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Old 05-31-2008, 07:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

The first MFM I had was with Mr. H's best friend. They had grown up together and been like brothers their whole lives. The first time I met the guy I was VERY sexually attracted to him, so it was a real treat for me to finally get him in bed. We stay in "loose" contact (one every month or so) and haven't done anything since that first time. It was about a year ago. But I can assure you it will happen again under the right circumstances. The first time was planned, and that worked out great, but any more times will have to be different. Can't explain WHY....but that's the case. Our relationship hasn't changed, and that's a good thing.
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Old 05-31-2008, 08:06 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by funky View Post
WE are leaving the country for good in 6 months time....your advice please? could this be the time to invite him in?
Because you are leaving we would lean towards no. There were 20 years that things could have happened and for one reason or another they didn't. We feel it would be better to not pursue it and risk any fallout.

Of course if there is a chance of a visit after you move, then never mind what we just said and go for it, lol.
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Old 05-31-2008, 10:20 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

I'd just up and tell him you and the hunny have been thinking about having a menage a trois and ask him if he would be interested in joining you. Be honest and keep it simple. People just waste to much perfectly good play time speculating about what others will or wiil not think or will or will not do when a simple question would let you know.
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Old 05-31-2008, 11:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

Sounds like a perfect scenario to me.
Ask and talk about it and if all sides are agreeable, go for it.
Good luck and keep us posted!
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Old 06-01-2008, 12:14 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

Just a few random thoughts about having a close friend as a sexual playmate. The first time my wife (now ex-wife) and I ever did anything unusual sexually was with my best buddy from work. He and I discussed the possibility long before he met my wife. Thinking it would make her feel more comfortable, we spent a long time letting the two of them to get to know each other. Then while she and I were engaged in great sex, I brought up the suggestion of having him join us sometime for a threesome. Because by now she knew him so well, I found that she was very receptive to the idea. Before actually trying the threesome, the three of sex discussed it to see what boundaries if any would be observed. As it turned out, there were none. Although it sounds like all this took some major planning, it was actually just a simple process to insure that all parties were comfortable. We never made any specific plans as to when or where we were going to do this, but it was understood that we all had the "green light." As it happened, we all got caught in a unexpected thunderstorm while wearing only light clothing and arrived at our place completely soaked and freezing cold. It was my wife who suggested a communal hot shower and hot drinks by the fireplace. What followed was the most intense and pleasurable sexual experience of our 36 year marriage.

After that first time, we played with other women and couples we did not know very well, but it was that first time mfm with my buddy that was still the best.

The point I am trying to make is that because we all took our time to insure that we were all comfortable with each other and get to know everybody's desires, it just seemed so much more natural and thrilling when things finally did happen.
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Old 06-02-2008, 12:44 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

Thank you all for your advice,will keep you posted on our decision
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Old 06-02-2008, 03:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

When in doubt, go for it.....
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Old 06-02-2008, 03:52 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: MFM with a really good friend?

here is my theory on this. Our 1st experience was with a friend my DH had been friends with for over 10 yrs. we had joked about it on and off and he had seen me undressed one new yrs eve when I was drunk and I only weighed 88 lbs and then again when I was my largest ever at 155. Ok I have digressed here. The point is if you have a good strong relationship then it can work great, He had some personal issues and we driffted apart unfortunately.
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