Ok, I'm that dreaded one...

[matureladylover]

A married male with out permission. But wait...

Here is the situation. Previous life about 11 years ago, had a CRAZY animal of a wife and it was a very open situation. The major memory was at a Washington DC 5 star hotel room involving 14 people...

New life...wonderful and loving, but has become sexless due to a hideous bout with cancer (hers). Have all the love anyone would ever want or need, not going anywhere or seeking to. Just need some refreshment, some excitement beyond CSI Miami...

Where is there room for me? Can it work? I am not without experience, and comfortable with myself.

Laid back, undemanding and understand the meaning of the word no. I also believe the a woman's needs cum first.

Suggestions?

Who knew the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train...

[screaminggood]

First question: Have you told your wife you're wanting more excitement? Have you made any overtures toward "wilder" things, not necessarily, swinging?

[matureladylover]

Unfortunately, it is not a matter of having more, the situation here is totally dry. There is no participation on her part whatsoever. Though the love is there, I fear the physical side will never return. Sad, but true.

[JustAskJulie]

Why don't you have your wife's permission? If she was open previously have you considered she may be open to this as well?

[Pensacolapair]

Originally Posted by matureladylover

A married male with out permission....

Although we don't feel we speak for everyone, we do suspect that "married male without permission" pretty much limits any possible positive responses to your post. While your situation is undoubtedly one that we would not want to be in, it's also one that we know is a possibility and have a very clear idea of how we hope we would address it.

If you do not have 'permission', then it's a reasonably safe assumption that if she found out, she would be terribly hurt. Even if we were to set aside the many other issues involved, we would consider that hurt to be an incredibly crushing and unnecessary addition to the pain that has already been visited upon someone we loved.

[VegasLee]

Rather then asking us for permission or ideas it would be best to sit down with the one you love and talk to her about this.

Things happen in life and we all have to adept to them.

Sneaking around without her knowledge or permission is not going to be the way to do it. She in time WILL find out and what is that going to do to her and you?

Do the right thing and talk to your wife about all of this.

[kittyscave]

My opinion only... Unless your wife is on board, you would be a definite NO go for me. I would not want to be the one over whom she gets hurt if she ever did find out. I would not feel right playing with someone who was only playing under the veil of deceit or secrecy.

I feel for you and the difficult position you are in. I imagine your wife must feel very sad, too, that she can no longer provide you with what you crave.

I hope you can find some one more open and accepting than I would be or that your wife comes to appreciate that you need, in some form, from some person, the physical release she cannot provide.

[matureladylover]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Why don't you have your wife's permission? If she was open previously have you considered she may be open to this as well?

She was never open, never particularly sexual. The open ness was previous life, previous wife...

[good times]

Originally Posted by matureladylover

Laid back, undemanding and understand the meaning of the word no.

No problem then, just ask your wife if you can do what you want to do. If the answer is yes, go for it. While it is not easy for married guys alone in the lifestyle, it is much easier if they have their wifes permission. If the answer is no, well, you did say you understand the meaning of the word no.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by matureladylover

A married male with out permission. But wait...

Here is the situation. Previous life about 11 years ago, had a CRAZY animal of a wife and it was a very open situation. The major memory was at a Washington DC 5 star hotel room involving 14 people...

New life...wonderful and loving, but has become sexless due to a hideous bout with cancer (hers). Have all the love anyone would ever want or need, not going anywhere or seeking to. Just need some refreshment, some excitement beyond CSI Miami...

Where is there room for me? Can it work? I am not without experience, and comfortable with myself.

Laid back, undemanding and understand the meaning of the word no. I also believe the a woman's needs cum first.

Suggestions?

Who knew the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train...

I find this whole post disturbing because of your flippant attitude.

If you "understand the meaning of the word no" then you should find out if your wife says "no" to you seeking sex with other women.

If you believe "a woman's needs cum first" you should find out what your wife needs from you and be able to discuss your needs with her. Decide together how to handle your "totally dry" situation.

LM

[arvcpl]

Originally Posted by matureladylover

Where is there room for me? Can it work?

Suggestions?

Cheating males are very looked down upon in the lifestyle. Many of the couples in the lifestyle are here enhancing their marriages and are happier and healthier than ever before and some guy just trying to score a piece of pussy off of someone elses wife while their wife is home alone and unaware is about as repugnant as dried dogshit in the treads of your shoes. Where there may be room for you is with another woman who is also in an unhappy and unfullfilling marriage and you two can cheat together. Then at least you can have two broken homes and two heartbroke spouses when the shit hits the fan and everyone can enjoy the misery.
Will it work? Well what does "work" mean to you? Getting some pussy while your sick wife is home wondering where you are? Yeah then I guess it will work.
Look, if I were in your shoes I don't know what I would do. We are all human and we all have needs and we are all sexual beings and crave physical comfort.
But the reason I HATE cheaters when they show up at a club or contacting us online is I am working hard to have a happy and healthy and mutually respectfull marraige and being in the lifestyle is part of that process as well as one of the rewards for that hard work. When you show up trying get a piece off of my wife while yours is sick at home (at least that is your and every other cheating husbands story) and completely unaware of your activities it really pisses me off and I know I am not alone in that feeling.

[Pepper & Drew]

You can do what you like...and of course you will...but we wouldn't come within a football field of you.

Gosh, we have enough trouble with couples who are both on-board.

Pepper

[tribbles]

People who do agree to play with you will be few and far between.....you can always lie to them, since you are lying to your wife. Do keep in mind....how will you cope if your wife ever finds out? Are you ready and willing to know you hurt her that much?

I'd say talk to her and get her permission.

[Bama0468]

My opinion and I may seem harsh, If you can't be honest with you wife about you feelings and needs, how can we be sure your being honest with us.

we llike most folks would not have anything more than a discussion about football with you.

[interested-05]

really like your answer bama. play together or don't play at all.
Sayin it like it is, while it seems contradictory to anyone outside the lifestyle, Swinging couples really do have a dedicated and honest relationship with their spouse.
judges sentence, "Bailiff, Wack his Peepee" then send him home to his wife.