Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!!

winnme · 05-13-2008, 11:15 AM

We have met a couple that we are very good friends with. We have been out with them a few times and we chat on yahoo together. But we, aren't interested in them in a sexually way, even though we know they are interested in us sexually. We just wanted to know how do we tell them that we only like them as friends?

VegasLee · 05-13-2008, 11:16 AM

We have found the truth works very well.

You are all adults.

Tell them the same thing you just told us.

Keep it simple and use very few words, it is understood best that way.

two4youinswva · 05-13-2008, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VegasLee

We have found the truth works very well.

This.

It won't necessarily be comfortable, and they'll no doubt be a bit disappointed, but it's not the end of the world either.
It's really the best way to handle it, and probably the sooner, the better.

Pensacolapair · 05-13-2008, 01:01 PM

(Holding up cue cards)
"We think you two are really cool, and would enjoy remaining friends with you. However, we just aren't feeling a sexual attraction and we don't want to lead you on."

And the sooner you say it, the better - too many wrong assumptions can be made the longer you wait!

sweet_tna · 05-13-2008, 03:14 PM

Yep, I agree with the others. Tell 'em the truth and as soon as possible. "We really like you guys, but would prefer to just be friends with ya'll," should work just fine.

=)

likkit69 · 05-15-2008, 03:46 AM

we have some friends that we have played with once, it was thier first time and a few days afterward they began wondering if the lifestyle wasn't right for them. (although they went back and forth a few weeks before finally settling on the decision not to swing) they asked us if we could remain friends if they stopped playing. we of course said yes i was even more willing to be just friends with them because of their honesty, they didn't ignore us, avoid us, or lead us along, they came right out and told us what was on their minds..we of course were dissapointed ..they were alot of fun but i admire their honesty.

mr

***JustAskJulie*** · 05-15-2008, 10:20 AM

Hopefully if you feel like you are already friends with them you really and will still be after you let them know you don't want to be sexually involved. Unfortunately, in this lifestyle sometimes it can be hard to tell if people are friends with you because they are friends with you or because they want to play with you.

Be honest with them, if they are the latter, you didn't really lose anything. If they are the former they will still be your friends.

**Alura** · 05-17-2008, 04:14 PM

Honesty is always the best policy, as they say. If they agree to be 'just friends" make sure y'all put as much effort into the friendship as you would a sexual one.

However, I am left with the thought that saying "just friends" is like saying "just the universe."

Friendship is, to us, the #1 requirement for us to get sexually involved with a couple.

Mr. Alura

myhw4u · 05-17-2008, 11:14 PM

We had a similar experience with the first couple we ever met and it could be part of our hesitation about playing with a couple. We had met them through a mutual friend, chatted, and B (my wife) even met her out as a test to see how they got along. B didn't feel a sexual draw to her but really enjoyed their chats, phone conversations and first meet. The entire time we talked with the couple they told us that they are looking for friends above all else so even if we don't click to play it is ok.

The time came to meet and we met them out and had a good time talking, exchanging stories, etc. But we weren't sexually attracted to them. When the evening ended we went home and I msged them thanking them for the good time and we hope to talk with them again. They asked if we were comfortable enough to play and I explained that while we enjoyed getting out and meeting them etc that we were not sexually attracted to them. After a barrage of questions as to why, they proceeded to accuse us of leading them on and wasting their time. They asked us to remove them from our list and not msg or call again. Which we did, happily.

curious_jorge · 05-18-2008, 01:42 AM

It is what it is...so keep it real.

and if they can't handle the truth, they are not even worth your friendship.

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05-13-2008, 11:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
winnme Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 23 Location: Hallsboro North Carolina Status: Couple SLS Name:winnme	Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! We have met a couple that we are very good friends with. We have been out with them a few times and we chat on yahoo together. But we, aren't interested in them in a sexually way, even though we know they are interested in us sexually. We just wanted to know how do we tell them that we only like them as friends? __________________ IF IT DOESN'T GET ALL OVER THE PLACE.......... IT SHOULDN'T BE IN YOUR FACE

05-13-2008, 11:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,277 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! We have found the truth works very well. You are all adults. Tell them the same thing you just told us. Keep it simple and use very few words, it is understood best that way. __________________ Lee Lifestyles News *Remember when Swinging was about having sex?*

05-13-2008, 01:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
Pensacolapair Educated Posterior Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 90 Location: Florida Status: Couple - He posts, She vetos as required Blog Entries: 6	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! (Holding up cue cards) "We think you two are really cool, and would enjoy remaining friends with you. However, we just aren't feeling a sexual attraction and we don't want to lead you on." And the sooner you say it, the better - too many wrong assumptions can be made the longer you wait! __________________ "When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you came to drain the swamp!"

05-13-2008, 03:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
sweet_tna Being good is overrated Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,795 Location: Poconos, PA Status: The boss of Mr. Sweet SLS Name:Sweet_tna	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! Yep, I agree with the others. Tell 'em the truth and as soon as possible. "We really like you guys, but would prefer to just be friends with ya'll," should work just fine. =) __________________ PA Meet Up Nov. 7th & 8th . . . you know you want to . . .

05-15-2008, 03:46 AM	#6 (permalink)
likkit69 Here to Stay Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 55 Location: AR Status: couple SLS Name:likkit69	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! we have some friends that we have played with once, it was thier first time and a few days afterward they began wondering if the lifestyle wasn't right for them. (although they went back and forth a few weeks before finally settling on the decision not to swing) they asked us if we could remain friends if they stopped playing. we of course said yes i was even more willing to be just friends with them because of their honesty, they didn't ignore us, avoid us, or lead us along, they came right out and told us what was on their minds..we of course were dissapointed ..they were alot of fun but i admire their honesty. mr

05-15-2008, 10:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 21,494 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 53	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! Hopefully if you feel like you are already friends with them you really and will still be after you let them know you don't want to be sexually involved. Unfortunately, in this lifestyle sometimes it can be hard to tell if people are friends with you because they are friends with you or because they want to play with you. Be honest with them, if they are the latter, you didn't really lose anything. If they are the former they will still be your friends.

05-17-2008, 04:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,067 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Married to Mrs. Alura	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! Honesty is always the best policy, as they say. If they agree to be 'just friends" make sure y'all put as much effort into the friendship as you would a sexual one. However, I am left with the thought that saying "just friends" is like saying "just the universe." Friendship is, to us, the #1 requirement for us to get sexually involved with a couple. Mr. Alura __________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

05-17-2008, 11:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
myhw4u Active Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 20 Location: Baton Rouge, LA Status: Couple-She rights but he does the typing SLS Name:myhw4u Blog Entries: 1	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! We had a similar experience with the first couple we ever met and it could be part of our hesitation about playing with a couple. We had met them through a mutual friend, chatted, and B (my wife) even met her out as a test to see how they got along. B didn't feel a sexual draw to her but really enjoyed their chats, phone conversations and first meet. The entire time we talked with the couple they told us that they are looking for friends above all else so even if we don't click to play it is ok. The time came to meet and we met them out and had a good time talking, exchanging stories, etc. But we weren't sexually attracted to them. When the evening ended we went home and I msged them thanking them for the good time and we hope to talk with them again. They asked if we were comfortable enough to play and I explained that while we enjoyed getting out and meeting them etc that we were not sexually attracted to them. After a barrage of questions as to why, they proceeded to accuse us of leading them on and wasting their time. They asked us to remove them from our list and not msg or call again. Which we did, happily.

05-18-2008, 01:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
curious_jorge Registered Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Detroit (please dpn't hold that against me) Michigan Status: single male	Re: Not Interested Sexually, only Friends!! It is what it is...so keep it real. and if they can't handle the truth, they are not even worth your friendship.

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