Being Outed

[theflamekasters]

I say it is our lives and we live how we do, if some one wants to judge me, then the perfect man cast the first stone! Every one has secrets!! If my job fires me over my social life, i will take them to court!! It is no ones buisnes what i do or who i do it with. I dont tell you so you dont tell me. If some one finds out oh well

[likkit69]

i think the issue of morality is much like the issues of obscenity, indecency , etc. not everyone has the same idea of what is obscene, indecent, or offensive, and not everyone has the same ideas of morality.

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by likkit69

i think the issue of morality is much like the issues of obscenity, indecency , etc. not everyone has the same idea of what is obscene, indecent, or offensive, and not everyone has the same ideas of morality.

You are right of course.. and the crack up is, looking at the news for the past few years.. Its always those that are willing to judge, and be critical of the "bad" or "Dirty" people that often can't stand the same bright light of day..

Jimmy Swaggert anyone? How about the one from Colorado, who was soliciting a male pros..

Locally, we had the head of a GREAT BIG church in Jax, that for the better part of 30 years was molesting BOYS & GIRLS.. the old fucker kicked the bucket before the trial, but his Deacon just got sentenced to 10 years..

As far as the original post.. how to handle it, there are limited options.. Deny, admit, but limit the admission.." it was a stupid fantasy" .. or Admit totally, and say, why did you want to set something up for Saturday nite?

In any case, NO ONE has the right to judge.. They havent walked a few miles in your shoes, and maybe thats the point

Jealousy can be a Vicous game for the small minded..

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by residentpervs

Actually, I'm thinkin it's becoming harder and harder for employers to fire someone for their sexual orientation, providing the individual can *prove* that's why they were fired... that's the hard part. As for being fired for being a swinger, there's a lot of professions, especially "public" ones, that have a "morality clause" in their contracts... Teaching is a good example. Not long ago, I read a thread here, I believe, about a woman who worked for a school district, and only as an administrative secretary at the board building, who was fired for violating the morality clause. The fact that she had no contact with the students (not that a lifestyler would worry about that anyway) was completely ignored, even though they cited the "immoral example" she set for students, that parents didn't want a "pervert" working in the education system, etc, etc. She didn't have a leg to stand on, and lost her job. So, yeah... it might just be safer to play your cards close to the vest, so to speak.

Theres a worse example here in Australia at the moment. a husband and wife, both teachers at the same highschool, "starred" in an interview in cosmo (womens magazine), that delved into their sex lives. they aren't swingers, they just discussed different fantasies, different things they'd tried in the privacy of their own house (eg toys). pretty much a standard married couple.

the fact they were teachers wasn't disclosed in the interview, but when one of the parents of the kids at the school read the article, they complained, and lo and behold, the wife got fired!!!

now the questions i have...

if the parent reading was such a prude, what were they doing reading an article in the sexuality section?

why was only the female of the couple fired? is it ok for a man to have sex with his wife, but not for his wife to ha ve sex with her husband???

and does the education dept. really expect married couples, with kids of their own, to forever be celebate?

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by Ed & Bunny

If you are good at what you do, I think you will find that most will not leave. Oh there will always be that holier than thou one, but most if questioned by others why they still give you bussiness will most likely say " who cares what they do in their spare time, I care about their quality work".

exactly. in highschool i found out my barber was gay (dunno why it came as a shock). it just meant that i trusted him more when he said the style complimented my face!!!

[rtb111]

Wow! I just came back on to look around and did not realize my thread was still going. Update. We are good, nothing happened! More people know, and we talk about it when asked. I still feel nervous about people knowing, but the world did not blow up! Chow

[notaswingeryet]

I'm glad that things worked out for you.

How did your relationship with the other couple work out?

How widespread has your outing been?

Sorry for being nosey.

[BiloxiCouple]

Do as I say, not as I do.

People can read all the magazines they want. Visit all the internet sites they want. When they find something too close to home, then they get upset.

No one worries about swinger parties until they are next door or in their hometown or next to their business.

Everyone has a sex drive. Everyone takes care of it in different ways. Some are more open about it. Some have to hide it. But your sex drive isn't going away (in a normal person).

Afraid of being outed? Then there is probably a list you should follow -
Don't use your real name.
Don't submit photos on line.
Don't do interviews.
Stay in the dark.
Don't play in your hometown.
Rent a car.
Don't use your credit card at a Club/Social.

That's probably a good start.

Not afraid of being outed? Then, have you worn your swingersboard shirt in public today? I did!!

[VegasLee]

Billy made a great list. I think he forgot one though.

If you are really worried about being outed, don't swing.

The Truth will set you free!

[rtb111]

Are you trying to be supportive?

[rtb111]

We are still friends with that couple but it really had to do with being betrayed. They never told us. We kind of got it out of them. We are more acquiantances then best friends. They were having problems with our situation any ways, drama, it worked out for the best.

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by rtb111

Are you trying to be supportive?

If this was directed to me, Yes. The answer may not be what you want to hear sometimes.

You can also do the, "hahahaha, us swingers? yep!! hahahah" and I'll bet they will laugh with you! And you didn't lie to them.

All kinds of ways to handle this, now you have to pick one or come up with one.