Friends surprised us, I'm interested but not sure hubby is... Advice?

[edmustang]

...and keep us posted!

[Drusilla]

Originally Posted by likeitalot04

I would like to say simply....Your husband does not yet know how lucky he is to have a wife with an attitude such as yours.

Thank you...that's very sweet!

Originally Posted by likeitalot04

Just walk before you run...

Yes, I know...sloooow down. At least we do already know these people very well although obviously not as well as we thought. hehehe...

[Drusilla]

Originally Posted by edmustang

...and keep us posted!

Oh definitely! I've gotta tell someone!

[Drusilla]

I was just reading through this to make sure I didn't miss anything and this jumped out at me.

Originally Posted by VegasLee

Set your limits, stick to them and do what works for the two of you. Not for others and don't let others seduce you or your husband into anything. You will regret it later if you do.

I'm just gonna lay it all out there because I really want your opinions. As long as you tell me what I want to hear, of course. Otherwise I'll just tell you ya'll are wrong and stupid and become a troll...so there! LOL Just joshin'.

I would not in a million years want to do anything to jeapordize my marriage. My husband is my best friend as well as my lover and I can't imagine losing him.

He's stuck by me through a battle with cancer (I won thankyouverymuch) and now chronic illness/pain. I haven't had a real job for 10 years because I simply can't commit to a schedule. Obviously, I'm not incapacitated or anything but some days are bad and I never know when. He has taken complete care of me and our son and done a wonderful job of it. Simply put, he's my hero and I love him with all my heart.

Okay, my question is...Our friends absolutely are & have been seducing me and with doing that, also DH. Looking back, I can see now that our friend has been leading me towards this for at least 2 years now. If that wasn't the case, I can absolutely guarantee that DH and I would not go seeking other ppl to play with.

With these friends, though, we're very comfortable and them bringing this up is like a dream come true. For me anyway. I don't think hubby has ever seriously thought about it as an option. Lucky me that he seems open to it, though!

However, I have been reading this board and others like it for a few years now. I've always enjoyed watching & reading about group sex for years and always thought about doing it. I never imagined that DH would consider it so I simply considered it a moot point.

DH and I have had a subscription to PH letters for a couple of years now and I have noticed that he seems more than a little interested in the wives gone wild section. Me...I'm always looking for the ones including more than two ppl. We've always watched porn together as well and the same goes for that.

It might be pertinant to note that before my DH, I was inexperienced sexually.
Although, I was 18 when I met him and just out of high school (I graduated from the infamous Columbine btw) so that's not so odd. I had a steady boyfriend when I was 16 & 17 (he was 21) and was monogamous with that bf then. I was the aggressor in that relationship and pushed him into sex for the first time. Isn't it usually the guy that does that? Yes, my boyfriend then was a 21 year old virgin.

I broke up with him the summer before college so I could be "free" in my new life at collete. I only had 2 sexual experiences in college before I met DH a month after I got there. Although, I was the aggressor in one of those too. 2 in one month after only 1 ever too...hadn,t thought of that. Sheesh...I [/b]am[b] a naughty girl.

Once I met DH, I never had any relationships with anyone else. He was the only one I have ever done anything with other than straight, missionary sex. Including oral! Seriously, the kiss with the hot girl (sheesh, I get all fluttery thinking about it) was my first kiss with anybody other than DH in 18 years. Now I feel old...lol.

Also, I hate to admit it but due to medications (just didn't feel anything anywhere) & pain, we went through a good ten years of me not being interested at all. Poor hubby was lucky to get 2 times a month. 6 months ago or so my meds changed and I finally got on good doctor to control my pain and Bang!...I was off to the races. I'm back to my old self again...two-fold. Suddenly I have feeling again and I'm like a kid in a candy store. Dh is just miserable, btw...not really.

Now....knowing all that...are we making a mistake? I don't feel like we are although it's impossible not to worry and wonder.

And I must say...no one can ever accused me of being a woman of few words! LOL sry....

[fordman460]

Damn, too bad youre so far from Phoenix, you and my wife would get along quite nicely it would seem. I'm glad you are doing so well both healthwise and in this new endeavor. Again, keep us posted.

[Drusilla]

Thank you ford! I appreciate it!

[Drusilla]

Well now, this just keeps getting better and better!

A book I ordered just arrived in the mail and of course it is about a club where men go to share their women. I read the description to DH and he smiled and said "sounds like the other night".

I reminded him that that particular situation had been my fantasy for forever and yes it did sound like the other night. But, of course, we had to leave before the fun began.

He said, "well, why didn't you say anything?? We could have stayed!". UGH!!!

Because I thought we had to leave...


Am I dreaming? I know it...I'm going to wake up with a smile and wet sheets. I just know it... My life just isn't this darn interesting.

[Alura]

I'd say your life is about to take an upturn in interestingness, Drucilla! Congratulations.

We understand the cancer part, too. Keep punchin'!

Alura

[ShellyM]

LOL Drusilla,
You go on with your bad self! When we started Jay was the more hesitant of the 2 of us....so we moved at his pace. Remember to be patient with your dh and go at a pace that is comfortable for him. I think that most people, when they hear the term "swinger" think of wild sex parties in the 70s, or an etruscan orgy (oh wait we were at one of those recently, let me hush)......seriously he thought it was just mad sex with everyone in a room, out of control lol. Just be patient with your hubby, and he will get into a comfort zone.
And please remember to talk about everything, especially at first. Until you have some experience under your belt you need to talk about how you are feeling, emotions, did you like this and that...etc.
AND HAVE FUN! Shelly

[hmr]

Dru, are you keeping us in suspence? Its 2 days after the fourth and what happened?
For us, It was the mrs idea, although I was the pervert? in general. definitely talk as everyone has said and you will have wonderful times. You will find most people were limited in their playing at first, before plunging in.
Also, most people will tell you, your marriage will get even better. Mrs and I have have a lot in common with you in the medical issues and her not being able to do much for a long time. However, once you can discuss how good giving head to someone alse was, or how good a screw so and so was, talking about the bills becomes much easier.
As others have alluded to, go at the pace of the slowest person and most things will take care of themselves.
Oh, and enjoy!!!!!

[nwmifun]

I'm betting ol' DH knew more than he was letting on.........

It all sounds like a genius plan though!!

[fordman460]

I'm sitting by with bated breath waiting on the story.....

[Drusilla]

Originally Posted by hmr

once you can discuss how good giving head to someone alse was,

Is it just me or is it getting hot in here????


Sorry, didn't mean to keep you hanging....I've been sick in bed the last couple of days.

The 4th was uneventful. The friend was his normal flirty self, except maybe a little more reserved than usual. He didn't hug me when we got there or when we left....which is weird. He almost seemed afraid to touch me. The most exciting thing that happened was we sat and talked and played footsy while DH and mrs. friend worked in the kitchen.

I tried to flirt a bit harder and made sure I sat next to him and so on but to no avail. There were two other very very very conservative couples there, though. In addition to 4 babies and my son...not really a "sexy" environment.

Our son is off to scout camp in the morning for the week. We are hoping to go out Friday night and perhaps get them over for a movie during the week.

I'm thinking our friend isn't sure what I'm thinking. I keep thinking about when him and our other friend pulled me aside and started to explain things. I simply panicked and walked away. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! That's REALLY not what I wanted to do!! That probably gave the impression that I wasn't interested, huh?

Of course, 5 minutes later...I WAS. I had a chance to feel out DH and had the green light for at least a kiss but by then the moment had passed. *sigh* Just can't stop wondering what might have happened had I just stayed there.

They just surprised me is all. I needed time to process and I didn't know how DH would feel about it. I had an idea he'd be okay with it by how he was acting that night but I wasn't sure.

Hopefully, if we get to see them this week, I'll work up the courage to let them know we are wanting to play.

Wish me luck!!

[fordman460]

Good Luck....Missed opportunities suck.

[Drusilla]

Originally Posted by fordman460

Good Luck....Missed opportunities suck.

or not..... LOL