When they think "NO" means "Just push harder"

[intuition897]

Who in the fuck let the jerk-offs in? And who referred them?? Knotty, I think they would've gotten a polite brush off, maybe two, from me, and if they further persisted, they get their dicks stepped on. I think they wouldn't have left the party without knowing EXACTLY what the problem was, because I'd be real clear about it. They'd have no doubt.

I haven't been single in over 13 years and never swung before that, so I can't say I know how you feel. But I can guess. We haven't run into assholes quite that bad yet, but it's SOBs like these that make the lifestyle as inaccessible to single men as it is. No condom no less?! Holy freaking shit.

It's this sort of ignorance and lack of respect for swinging that makes me want to get out and advocate for the lifestyle; it won't get any better until people understand what is is and is not about! I know it's a pointless endeavour, but what can I say? I'm an idealist.

[ShellyM]

I agree with past posts. You cannot use alcohol as an excuse. We are adults, and drunk or not we make decisions.....sometimes BAD ones, but they are decisions that we are responsible for. There is no way you can justify what these 2 men did, its as simple as that. There is just no excuse for ever putting your hands on a person's body when you have been told no. She said no, there should have been no mis-understanding. Just my 2 cents.
Shell

[knottyboi]

I can't tell you all how much your support means to me. I was feeling like a "bad swinger" because I didn't just go with it, and I coudn't understand why I was feeling so terrible about myself. I *did* tell them both twice I wasn't interested and I said "no" very clearly. I didn't beat around the bush about it. So that's why it was even worse when one of them came a hair's breath from going inside me - it was such a surprise and so very unwelcome. The hostess did end up apologizing to me later because she knew all of us but not them, they had been vouched for by other friends of hers that didn't end up coming to the room.

It was hard to hear that some of you think that it pretty much was to be expected, that that is what group sex is about, but I can't believe that. I've been in a few groups before and it was always very respectful, always with each person either asking out loud if it was okay, or approaching each other in a slow way to give a person a chance to say no. I've never been made to feel like a whore.

I appreciate your kind words and it's helped that one man that was there wrote me and said that he was unhappy with what had happened but that he thinks I handled it really well, and this all has made me feel so much better.

[tribbles]

I'm curious...with what you have learned/thought since it happened, would YOU do anything different if it happened again someday?

You don't have to answer, I just tend to work to learn how I would change things if they happen again. Knowing that, helps me feel more comfy...in life, not just swinging.

Glad you are feeling better.

[LOL_OMG]

I too was surprised to see some of the nonchalant comments that this was in some way to be expected. If a situation like this is ever deemed okay generally, it's time for me to quit swinging.

Something you could have done differently: Maybe grabbed him by the balls and started to twist, then when he said "NO" you could have said "what? what was that word?"

Mrs

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by knottyboi

I've been in a few groups before and it was always very respectful, always with each person either asking out loud if it was okay, or approaching each other in a slow way to give a person a chance to say no.

This is the way it should be.

Those guys were wrong, they disrespected you, and it wasn't your fault. You could do the "should'a, would'a, could'a" thing as much as you want, and it wouldn't change what they did or how wrong it was.

I've never been in your situation, but my gut tells me it may take a while for you to feel completely better about what happened to you, and you should feel fine taking your time with your feelings. Some people might brush it off, but please listen to what your inner voice tells you in this regard.

Being "a good swinger" means always respecting those around you.

[tribbles]

We have been throwing parties in -removed- for the past month and a
half every weekend so why should this Saturday be any different?
IT WONT BE!
This sat June 23, we will be right back in the same spot in -removed-
doin what we do best and that is GETTIN FREAKY!
This may well be the last time we have access to this particular house
so ya better not miss this!!!

just to make it interesting, we are gunna make it a PUSSY EATIN PARTY

ladies if u like ta get your puccie ate or have that salad tossed, BE
THERE!!!

LADIES DON'T NECESSARILY HAFTA BE BUT.... Guys, if ur not a pussy
eater Then stay ya ass at home!!
this party is going to be ATTENDED BY GUYS ( and girls) who have an
unquenchable predilection for eatin pussy!
the rules are simply

LADIES IF U SEE SUM ONE WHO U WANT TO EAT YOUR PUSSY, DONT EVEN BOTHER
ASKIN!
SIMPLY LEAD HIM TO
A BED, COUCH, CHAIR, WHATEVER, AND PUT IT N HIS FACE. GET YA PUSSY
LICKED TILL U BUST AND MOVE ON THE THE NEXT PUSSY LICKER
NO RECPROCATION NECESSARY! OF COURSE IF YOU WANNA GET YA GROOVE ON, BY
ALL MEANS, FEEL FREE. but make him lick it if he wants ta stick it!!!!

AS ALWAYS THERE WILL BE A GANG BANG ROOM FEATURING THE LOVELY, FREAKY
~name removed~ FOR THE LADIES WHO JUST CANT GET ENOUGH BIG DICK

I'm just gonna say this is the invite for a party coming this Sat not too far from me.

Which is why, I want you all to understand that while what the guys did with the OP was wrong ...they may not 'get it' until someone explains it. It depends on their prior experience.

Telling others when someone is not hearing a NO is an important thing to do. Get help. At a party no one is on their own and alone.

You can say this party 'is not swinging' but in case you missed it, there seems to be more than one way to describe swinging. It may not be what you think is swinging but what if it is to someone you meet at a small party and are in a room with before you find out they think different from you......

We have been caught off guard more than once....and learned our own limits and how to enforce them. No one should ever feel bad keeping to their own limits no matter what it takes to make themselves heard.

At a party like that above, if you didn't know what it is like from the invite (and at least they are very blunt, not all are), then saying no and if necessary leaving the party, is the right thing to do.

[BiKyCouplefor2]

Knottyboi,

Sorry to hear that you were put into a situation where people were not respectful. When single guys act like that it is a wonder that any of them get any interaction!. My wife and I are from the Louisville area and would love the opportunity to chat with you if you were interested......

M&C

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Originally Posted by tribbles

The way I read it, the cock did NOT get in.

OK, ATTEMPTED rape if you want to split hairs, a slightly less serious felony.
I'm sorry you had such a bad time. I don't mind it when someone tries to define the scope of a no. Does this "no" mean "no, I don't want you to touch me there, but anywhere else is ok" or does this no mean "no, I'd rather jam my hand in the garbage disposal than be touched by you."
On the other hand if someone just won't take no for an answer it's time to toss them out. The time for those bums to have been tossed was when you had to hide in the bathroom to get away. That was the moment for the bums rush.
I (the male half) have been in a group play room and have penetrated women without asking in words, but I always touched first and made sure she knew I was there and what I intended to do so she had the chance to object. It's just politeness.
I'm sorry that simple politeness is beyond some people.

[Ruff]

I've not only attended huge hotel parties I've been part of the security at many and the OP's experience is not as rare as U'd think. Sone guys come to parties expecting to fuck and any words to the contrary fall on deaf ears. I've had a woman basically RUN across a mansion's 2nd floor and squeeze between me and the wall while gripping my arm as tightly as she could to get away from a guy and to stop other guys from groping her. Like the OP's (and another poster's) example(s) many times the guys who do this are FRIENDS of the host/hostess so they feel they can get away with anything. What she did or didnt drink, said or didn't say has absolutely no bearing on what happened, guys who feel they are owed pussy act accordingly regardless if it's a private room or the main playroom @ the party. When fellaz act like this it's called "thirsty" and it's not an endearing descriptive term.

[blackcreme2003]

Originally Posted by knottyboi

I'm married but I play as a single female since my partner doesn't play.

Question....Does your partner knows what had happen to you?

[OnHArry]

I can really sympathise with you Knottiboi, my wife had two bad experiences, in a month and she won't do anything now except one boyfriend she has.

I of course am left out in the cold, (poor me) but seriously, the first time you said no should have been more than adequate, I would never dream of forcing myself on someone who did not want me, for whatever reason.

You were right no one deserves to be treated that way and as one poster observed, well several actually, these guys were obviously not swingers, but seemed to assume that because they were at a swinger party that any woman they wanted would fall down at their feet and spread her legs, NOT.

I hope you do cope and go on to have more fun, but I also know from my wife's experience it really weighs you down. Take care and have fun.

[katcouple]

As far as I'm concerned, no means no...period. These guys should have respected that and moved on, IMHO.